Hi, Tian Ai speaking D This is one of the first fics I've written, so it's probably still pretty choppy..
Critique greatly appreciated!
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Those Eyes
You remind me of the times when I knew who I was.
Those red eyes. They are the color of blood. The color of rubies. What's even more ironic was that they are the color of flames. This is always what I have been reminded of the countless times I have stared right into them. Stared, letting the silence speak between us. Because that's how we communicate. It's how we are.
I cannot remember a time when I have not resented rain. The day I stood before his grave, heart being dragged down by a weight that nothing can lift. The day adrenaline was pumping through me, when I was shaking with the determination to protect the ones I love. The days that I rested my forehead against the cool window, watching the drops wash away the footprints in the soil. Watching them wash away the evidence that someone had ever been there.
I cannot remember a time when I have not resented those lonely drops of oblivion. But neither can I remember a time where she has not been behind me, watching my back with weary yet focused eyes, making sure I will not be mislead by the pain. Sharing it silently with me, making it bearable in so many ways.
It seems as if she's always there behind me, being my eyes, being my guardian. So often that I have found myself speaking to her when she's not there, glancing behind me only to see thin air. And then a strange, tingling sensation would come over me. My heart… like it was being held by someone else, being held tight.
I would turn away from the untouched thoughts. I was determined to let them stay untouched. Like when you look upon the surface of a pond. You can see a distorted image of what lies underneath. What I can see from the surface is something I yearn to touch, something that I would give anything for. I know it's foolish. I know that I will regret it if I someday cannot find them anymore. But…
"It's raining…" Roy sighed, looking up from his desk, laden with piles and piles of paperwork, waiting to be done. "Again."
The Colonel's five subordinates all looked from their desks to the window. Riza Hawkeye glanced at Roy briefly before returning to her work.
"Looks like your flames will be useless for awhile now, huh, Colonel?" chuckled Havoc, setting a stack of papers in a cardboard box.
"Go away, Havoc," Roy sighed half-heartedly.
I smile to myself. We dogs of the military are a pack. We are like family, without the need to share everything with each other. We care for one another, but we know not to interfere with things that are for one to do alone. No one will be left out on the battlefield alone. Under the pressure of war, cruelty, and the sad truths, all we have is each other.
I say this to myself. But she's special.
"What is it, sir?"
"Huh?"
Her mahogany eyes...
"You were staring at me, sir."
The more I look into them, the more I realize – they're so much like the night sky. So vast, so…
"…Sir?"
"What?"
"…Never mind."
Roy let his gaze linger on her a moment more before turning away. The other men were still going on about some party the office was going to have at Falman's later that night.
I know I love her, and she knows, too. Just like she loves me. We both know. Perhaps our comrades, too. We don't need to say it out loud. 'I love you,'… They're just words.
What we have and haven't been through together. What we've shared and what we have hidden. What we have felt, what we have said and want to say. Can they all depend on those three words?
Our bond is unbreakable, and I know that neither she nor I will stop believing in that.
I will always love you. If we are apart, I will love you. If our memories together are lost, I will love you. If I die and rot in hell for not believing in God I will love you. I swear on everything that means anything to me that I will never lose you. I'll love you until time and space end. No… I'll love you, no matter what, because it will take everything to pull you from my heart.
If you died right now, know that I'd die, too.
The day passed with Roy hardly seeming to notice anything, but he had ended up on Falman's balcony, gazing up at the star-filled sky with Riza close beside him.
How many nights have you been beside me? How many stars have disappeared, how many have been born since our story started?
"Roy." Her gentle hand brushed against his strong one.
Her eyes. They remind me of my own flame that has killed so many. They remind me of the Ishvarlan's hate-filled ones, cursing me to oblivion. But somehow… They still calm me with an overflowing sensation, like a river of warmth.
"I love you."
We have held hands before. While standing before a field full of corpses, eyes hollow as shells. While waiting for others to come back, never letting our anxious minds slip into restless slumber. Somehow this is different from all those times. Our hands are not stained with blood and dirt, the air is not weighed down by the guilt of two murderers.
Their fingers entwined.
"I know. Just like I love you."
Maybe those three words…
And suddenly, nothing around them mattered anymore. Not while they were standing together, sharing this meaningful silence that only they could ever understand.
One day, we will be free. We will be together, watching the sun set and rise, like an old tale ending and a new one beginning. We can stand side by side, just like this, with nothing to separate us again. Our love will go on forever, but till death do us part, because although I will be pulled down to hell, I know that you're going to heaven.
Fin.
