fandom - Kyou Kara Maou
title - indecently
rating - pg
pairing - conrad + yuuri
description – When Yuuri walks out to find solitude, Conrad comes to find him…

disclaimer – Kyou Kara Maou isn't mine.

Indecently.
by miyamoto yui

Like colorful, ethereal umbrellas sprinkling spurts of light, the fireworks were wonderful to watch. They made loud noises like a ball being hurled directly into a leather baseball mitt.
Without knowing it, I started to sing a little song, mimicking the sound of the sky, "Pwack! Pwack!"

For a moment, I was mesmerized by the contrast of the sky and all the small lights down at where all the people were. It was festival time and I could hear the roars of laughter that were even more lively than the fireworks, making the scene before me even more beautiful.
It was great to see the smiling bustling of people as they enjoyed themselves. For one night, we were ignoring the fact that the world wasn't in turmoil and that we weren't negotiating for peace with the other nations.

Tonight, we were just happy people.

I crossed my arms over the railing of the balcony and continued to watch everyone. I knew I should have been downstairs to participate in all the festivities, but I slipped away because I was so incredibly tired. Or rather, I wanted time for myself.
Real time for myself. Not the kind with someone guarding me, but the type that let me take pleasure in the slowness of life.

To be as 'ordinary' like at home in Japan…
Well, even with my mother who dressed me in women's clothing because she wanted a girl.

I laughed to myself while taking hold of one part of my long outfit. It was an unevenly hemmed dress that was as blue as the ocean around us while contrasting the white jeans and black leather belt I wore. I kind of liked it, even if it was a little tight, but Conrad and Wolfram took the time to make the preliminary designs for it. How could I refuse something like that?

But at the thought of home, I crossed my arms again and buried my head in between them. The more I thought of 'home', where exactly was that now? The more I became accustomed to things here, the more reluctant I subconsciously became.
It was becoming harder and harder to go back without leaving some part of myself behind.

I was enjoying everything, both the good and the bad. But, like always, I went into things not thinking of failing but believing, foolishly, that I'd be able to change anything in my path. In my head, and with all my heart, I thought that I could do anything as long as I was determined to finish what I started.
Except, what would happen at the end of this particular journey?

The more I thought about it, the more I felt a protesting ache from the shadowed corners of my chest.

"So you were here, Your Highness?"

Startled, I shot my head up and put my hand to the back of my head. I laughed sheepishly but I didn't turn around. "I just needed a breather. There were so many people around that I thought I was going to faint from the heat. Just like being in the bathtub 'cause it's like a hot spring. Ahahahaha~!"

I wished he'd just listen to me and call me Yuuri more often…
Since he was the one who named me, after all…

But I could hear him. The tap of his shiny boots were all the way at the line that divided the balcony and the bedroom. He didn't move at all though, but I could feel his eyes analyzing my figure.
Those eyes sometimes scared me because they equaled that of my own willpower and stubbornness.

His concerned voice told me, "They will start to notice if you're gone too long."

"They already did if you're here, Conrad." I laughed while looking at the last of the fireworks popping in the sky, a red flower fading away as quickly as it had bloomed.

"They're lovely to watch, aren't they? But it was kind of interesting watching this type of thing from that box that you have in your world."
"Excuse me?" I turned my head to face him as he came towards me.
When he put his arms on the ledge, he folded his hands together. "It's the one with many images on it. You 'flip channels', is it?"
"Oh, you mean the 'television'?" I nodded my head and looked up to the starry sky once more. "It's nice to see fireworks on tv, but it's not as awesome as seeing them right before your very eyes."

"Yuuri, are you feeling all right?"
Immediately, he reached out his hand to touch the back of it to my forehead. I almost pulled away, but having heard my name, I was caught off-guard. This switching between title and name was confusing to me.

But having him say my name, it was something very different.
He made it sound like I never heard it before. What I meant was that I hadn't heard it said the way he did it. Maybe it was because he _was_ the one that named me.

I closed my eyes and leaned my face forward. I couldn't help but smile.

When he took his hand away, the breeze blew on the warmth, taking it away all over again.

"Yes, I'm fine."
"Are you sure you aren't worried about anything?" He still wasn't convinced, but his persistent eyes never left my profile.
"There's always something to worry about," I tried to say with a light tone as I turned around and pushed myself to sit on the balcony.
But Conrad took a hold of my waist before I could do it myself. He positioned me so that I could get there safely. I watched his subdued, carefully critical eyes handle me with such gentleness. It was sometimes hard to believe he was a soldier, especially since he was wearing his uniform and I was remembering the name they used to call him during the war.
For a moment, his hands lingered and he looked up to me with a smile. "Good?"
"Yeah." I nodded, but I pouted a bit. A little for him helping me as if I were a girl…

…and trying so hard not to blush…

He was just really cool.

I wished I didn't have such a girly face.

When he let go, his hands were on either side of my knees. His eyes were still watching mine. "What are you worrying about?"

Then, my eyes wandered to my hands. I couldn't stand being so close to him looking at me so attentively. It was something I couldn't understand about myself
"Where I come from, 'magic' doesn't really exist. People make it happen, but in different ways, like in the 'television' that you were talking about. Here, my hands are so important because I can't survive without using them for magic."
Looking up slowly, I confessed, "I wonder if I can go back to being 'normal'…"

Our eyes met again.

His steadfast gaze was overwhelming. "What you do without your powers is more extraordinary than anything you do with them. That is the reason why you're gradually winning the hearts of the people. Even the ones that fear what you are."
As the wind blew again, it touched his bangs, but his eyes averted away, looking at the people down below.

But you, have I-

"By doing that alone, you were never 'normal', Yuuri." He smiled, but he wouldn't look at me while immersing himself with the crowds all over the kingdom.

Would you or I, or anyone for that matter, believe that when we reached the end? Would I be able to recognize the person I was at the closure of this journey?

Because, once you reach your destination, it wasn't entirely the world that changed, but the one you made within yourself.

I bonked my forehead to the top of his head. "You make me sound really cool when you say it that way. And I think I'm a real dork sometimes for rushing into things thinking that I can always make a difference. Even if my chances of 'winning' are next to the atomic scale. Hahahaha…"
He looked up when I opened my eyes. "But that is why I admire you."

I blinked my eyes at the tension running through all of my body.

Was it guilt because Wolfram might come through that door at any moment? Or the others rushing in with all their conclusions?

Or maybe that I really have grown too close to my protector Conrad?

Again, I chuckled to relieve the nervousness as I pulled myself away while still looking at him. "You sound like my favorite seiyuu."
"Seiyuu?" Conrad gave me an astonished face that I found amusing.
"People draw things and color them. Then, they make them into images that go all together. There are characters in there, but they're voiced by people. It's like a puppet show, only it has drawings. And they put them on tv. Get it?"
He shook his head.
"I'll show you next time then." I grinned wider, almost not believing what I said when I blurted out, "What I mean is that I really like your voice."

My eyes turned away.

We became silent, but my heart beat faster than a speeding bullet train.

I refused to look at him again, but he straightened up and pulled the back of my head towards him. He whispered into my ear, "Yuuri."

He said it as if he wanted to say more. It was as if he knew exactly what I was saying to him before I could realize it for myself. What did I want out of all this 'kingship' business? What did I want more than this? Why couldn't I do anything with all the responsibilities and power I had?

I gulped.

What could we possibly do about this?

I…
…was beginning to love this voice more than I should have…
…always calling me so protectively and lovingly…

The very first one that ever said my name.

My eyes were half-opened as I started to lean forward…

But realizing what I was doing, I jokingly pushed his cheek away. "We'd better go back!"
As he stepped aside, I jumped down without his help. As he was reaching out for my hand, I glanced at him with pained eyes and turned away, running away as fast as I could.

I walked farther and farther from him, hearing my own footsteps against the floor towards the party. My hands were in fists as I felt my heart cringe even more than a squeezed rag used for cleaning. The more I tried to calm myself, the more flustered I became with my cheeks turning crimson.

Whenever he said my name, I realized that was the spell that kept me bound here. It was becoming deeper while tattooing itself invisibly inside my heart.

I wasn't ready to miss that voice yet.
I was realizing that I didn't ever want to.

"Yuuri."

I stopped immediately and closed my eyes again. I looked up to the ceiling as his voice repeated inside my mind, invading places that it shouldn't have.

He stood several feet behind me, but didn't move.
And shamefully, I wanted him to hold me.

Indecently.

Not as my guardian or as my protector, but as a person with the need to not let go of me. With a restraint just as powerful…

Gravely, I whispered with the silent hallway echoing my words, "Convince me to stay, Conrad."

Then, again, I opened my eyes to dash away to smile at the crowds with my most important person staring at me indiscreetly across the room with his arms crossed, his back leaning on one walls of the large ballroom. And Wolfram was glimpsing at him and at me suspiciously, but I still stole glances at those forceful, deeply concentrated eyes.

Yes, even more than your voice,
those eyes that look so composed
but unreasonably pierce into me
and sear my soul like fire,

are carelessly touching me.

One day, I know I won't be able to get away.
I'll want to be held captive.

Owari.
-
Author's note – Yes, I do understand the fact that I'm procrastinating on other fics. ^^;;; But this seriously needed to be done. I HAD to after being inspired to Yukuro-chan's drabbles. I don't particularly like drabbles, but I reallllllllly enjoy her KKM ones. XD (* little voice * Make more, pwease?)

Hope you enjoyed it. I like the intense fluff!

Love,
yui

Friday, July 29, 2005
04:07:47am