"Is the suite to your liking sir?" Leonard McCoy looked up find a scantily dressed young woman opening the French doors which led to the private terrace, revealing the breathtaking panoramaq of the Risan Sea at sunset.
"Great, thanks." McCoy answered dropping his travel bag on the luxuriously appointed bed that dominated the main room.
"If there is anything else you want, anything you desire…all that is ours is yours." The hostess purred seductively, echoing the ubiquitous phrase he'd heard a dozen times since the shuttle deposited him at the beachfront resort ten minutes ago. Her implication seemed lost on the good doctor who dropped exhausted onto the overstuffed chair by the giant viewscreen.
"Y'all have room service?" he asked, then suddenly stiffened as the full implication of her previous statement hit him. "For food," he added nervously, "can I have dinner brought to my room?"
"Here at Paradise, it is our pleasure to see that all of your desires are fully satisfied Doctor. There are menus on the viewscreen." She picked up a tiny controller and at her touch the screen filled with an enticing stream of mouthwatering dishes of every imaginable cuisine. "You have only to touch the item on the screen and it will be brought to you." The woman edged closer , moving with a feline grace and he caught the sweet spicy scent of her perfume as it mingled with the fragrance of the night blooming crimson yalanthe flowers on the terrace.
"Each channel features a different pleasure available to our guests." She touched the device again displaying scenes of the numerous pools and spas the resort offered as well as the pristine beach and sparkling blue ocean, then came images of beings of every species, of every gender, pleasuring one another in various and some mind-boggling combinations.
"I'm not really looking for…" he sprang to his feet as he saw two Carsassian females and two Andorian males engaging in an apparent sexual act he'd not thought physically possible. He snatched the controller from her slender hand, pressing the unit until the screen went dark. "I'm here for a night of rest and relaxation."
The hostess responded by running her hand across his chest and unfastening the clasp of his uniform tunic.
He removed her hand and took a step back putting the chair between them. "Not that kind of relaxation.
"Look, you're a lovely girl, but I'm here for a bottle of good brandy, a nice dinner and a quiet night of sleep in a real bed without the emergency claxtons going off every hour. I haven't had a decent night of sleep in the past five months. "
"Very well then, but if you should change your mind…all that we have…"
"Is mine, yeah I know. Maybe next time darlin'"
"Perhaps so," she smiled then turned and left him alone.
The doctor sighed and set to unpacking his small overnight bag. It had been a long and grueling five months since Admiral Kirk had him dragged kicking and screaming from the front porch of his country retreat in Georgia and summarily drafted back into the service of Starfleet. There was no denying that he was no longer a young man and sometimes saving the entire universe before lunch on a weekly basis was getting to be more than he could handle.
Though he'd never admit it, he was glad that Jim called him back. He missed the adventure of life on the Enterprise almost as much as he'd missed his crewmates. It had been a mistake taking the early retirement offer, but with Jim kicked up to Fleet HQ in Frisco, Christine's hasty departure for Med School, and that boneheaded Vulcan running off to Gol to have the last bit of his humanity ritually purged, the idea of five more years wandering deep space had seemed less than palatable.
It was good being back together gain. His former head nurse was now a highly skilled physican and having Chapel to assist him, when they weren't butting heads, was a godsend. Even with Christine's assistance, the shakedown cruise of a newly designed ship with the added complication of an equally new untested crew was taxing and when the opportunity for an overnight leave on Risa presented itself he had jumped at the chance.
He'd been fortunate to find the opening at the exclusive resort on such short notice, and though he'd initially balked at the price, a night of peace and quiet in this idyllic setting was more than worth the outlay of credits.
Working up his courage, he scrolled through the menus on the viewscreen and ordered several plates of local delicacies and a bottle of rare vintage Saurian brandy, hoping that the provocatively dressed hostess wouldn't be delivering his order personally.
Scrolling through the entertainment programs he found some of his favorite classical music and changed into some lounging pants and long tunic while he awaited his dinner.
Barely a quarter hour later, he heard the soft knock at this door. A young man, as provocatively clothed as his female counterpart, entered with a small antigrav unit laden with several containers. The host artfully arranged the plates of food on the small table then poured a generous serving of the expensive brandy into a crystal tumbler.
"Is there anything else you desire Doctor?" There was no mistaking the young man's body language or the implication of his inviting smile. McCoy sighed; apparently the hostess misread his disinterest in her charms and had sent in another team.
"All I "desire", my friend, is a good drink, a nice meal and eight hours of uninterrupted sleep." The doctor grumbled.
"Very good sir, enjoy you stay at Paradise, all that we have…"
"Is mine, yeah got it."
McCoy downed the drink in a single gulp then refilled his glass as he perused the platters of local fruits, meats and vegetables. He was just about to spear a roasted purple tuber when he heard a loud thump against the wall his room shared with the neighboring suite. It was followed in short order by a staccato series of noises which he realized were being caused by the headboard beating against the wall, the rhythm was embarrassingly familiar.
Then came loud moaning, the voice clearly female, which, coupled with the sound of the headboard banging against the wall could only mean one thing. His neighbors were apparently engaged in sex, and having a damn fine time of it if the woman's enthusiastic moaning was any indication. The banging grew louder and faster, and the woman's pleasured moaning increased in response. Had he not been so tired he'd have been impressed with the man's stamina, assuming of course that it was a man or even that his neighbors were human.
Following a crashing crescendo worth of a Sousa march the pair, apparently sated, were quiet. McCoy raised his glass to their common wall in a mock toast before returning his attention to the lavish meal before him.
But his respite was astonishingly short lived as within moments the rhythmic banging against the common wall began once more in earnest.
Well that settled it, there was no way his amorous neighbors were human, at least not the male.
He squirmed uncomfortably at the sound woman's deep moaning, there was something about it, something almost …familiar?
"You'd think for a thousand credits a night they'd have some dang soundproofing in the walls," he said glumly as he refreshed his drink.
The moaning became louder, but the next thing he heard almost made his heart stop.
"Oh Commander, your powers of recovery are truly amazing."
"Really Christine, I should think we are beyond titles at this point."
"I suppose so oh oh oh yes that's it…yes right there…don't stop."
"It would be most illogical to stop at this point Christine."
"Son of a… Chapel and Spock?" McCoy exclaimed as the crystal tumbler fell from his hand, shattering on the polished marble floor. It wasn't possible? Christine Chapel and that blasted green blooded hobgoblin?
"Oh yes harder, harder," he was certain that was Chapel's voice urging her partner on. But Spock?
"Naw that's impossible."
Whoever her partner was, he quickly acquiesced to her desire and the tempo of the headboard against the wall picked up accordingly.
"Oh Spock…yes, oh yes."
"Okay, maybe not impossible." He grumbled as he retrieved a second glass from the tray and filled it to the brim. Within moments the percussive sounds of aerobic intercourse signaled the start of round three.
Whatever was going on there was only one thing he was certain about. He wasn't going to be getting any sleep if he stayed here tonight. After quickly stuffing his uniform and the bottle of brandy into his bag, then accessing the viewscreen to notify the front desk he was checking out, he commed the Enterprise.
"Kirk here what's up Bones?"
"If I told you, you wouldn't believe it Jim boy. Can you authorize a priority beam out from these coordinates?"
"You Doctor, using the transporter voluntarily." Kirk responded with a chuckle. "What's the problem? You've been going on about this liberty on Risa for the past month. I can't believe you're that anxious to escape from paradise."
"It's more like I'm being driven out by a pointy eared devil. Can you have Rand beam me out or not?"
"Sure Bones, I'm relaying the order to her now."
McCoy took one last look at his paradise as it disappeared in the soft shimmer of the transporter beam.