Teddie's Beary Good Time 2:The Funky Fresh Journey to Find Brosuke (Originally written on 3-29-16)
Disclaimer:I don't own Persona 4 or any other works reference in this story...
Teddie woke up from his mushroom-induced naptime and yelled a funky fresh rhyme, "I like to suck on lemons, but not any limes, my homie op, is Optimus Prime! Hee hee hee, I have to go pee!" He suddenly stopped mid-song. "Shit."
There was a huge hole in the floor next to Yosuke's bed, I mean Yosque, and it lead to downstairs, where another hole lead underground. The boy in question was nowhere to be found, and Teddie's pants were slowly turning brown. Apparently, the phrase, 'Say it, not spray it.' Also applied to butts. A lone sombrero was next to the hole letting Teddie know what cruel fate had befallen his clearly chocolate comrade with a salty Mexican spice flavor. He had fallen straight through both floors of the house and into whatever lay underground.
"Oh no! All that dirt will make his skin even darker than it already is! If he gets any more black, then I won't even be able to see him at night!" Teddie began to cry, "What if I trip over him at night and pee all over him like he was the toilet!"
"Yeah, bruh, that happened before, and it was so nasty my face froze in a permanent expression of disgust!" Teddie said,
"Are you sure?" The source of the voice was a potted plant nearby. Once Teddie's eyes landed on the leafy bro, it said,
"Does this look unsure to you?" It seemed like it was indeed sure, so sure that it was serious, so serious that it was as serious as a heart attack. Teddie would know how serious those were, because he had already had 3, just this morning. Teddie was beginning to stop crying, but a tear landed on the talking plant. The tear was so salty, that the plant instantly shriveled up and dried out, turning a yellowish-brown color, making a dry wheezing noise. "Damn, I need a drink. I'm thirsty as hell." It said, in a grandpa-like voice.
Teddie knew what he had to do to make it up to the plant for what he had done, so he thought up a way to have fun. Teddie had an idea for a contest, one that would be potentially life threatening, but fun, as well. "Ooh, I know! While I can't get you a drink, we can do something fun, instead! Let's have a contest. The one who can have the most heart attacks without dying wins!" The plant didn't have a heart to begin with, so he had already lost, so he didn't have the heart to tell Teddie that, because he looked like he was having too much fun.
The silly bear had found a way to initiate them on command, and was currently flopping around all over the place, and frothing at the mouth, as he had a seizure. For some reason, this allowed him to get the high score on Yosque's Dance Dance Revolutione machine. His eyes were flashing rainbow colors from being exposed to the radiation coming from the machine. Eyeballs grew in the place of his nipples, as he finally came to his senses. He had no time for games, he needed to find his funky freshalicious homiedude Brosuke, before it was too late.
He looked down at his new ocular squirters, sadly. He loved to rub his nipples in the mirror to the intense orgasmic moans of Michael Jackson grabbing his crotch in the shower. Now he couldn't do so without poking himself in the eye. On the bright side, those things were getting so hairy, that Indiana Jones was probably exploring the depths of his nippy hair jungle, looking for the used handjob of Mr. T. But now, it was lost forever. Teddie pitied the fool, he really did. Teddie knew what he had to do. He fried some eggs with his butt cheeks, because they were hot and sweaty from the seizures earlier.
After shoving them up his nose so he could chew them properly with each nostril tube, he approached the hole and dived through, stripping his pants off in the process. He was going to where the Sun don't shine, so he made sure the Moon would. Come to think of it, the hole in both floors was because Yosuke built them out of his toenail clippings, anal drippings, pubic hair, and a piece of salami he found in the fridge. It was so old that it was practically Santa Clause. In fact, Teddie remembered Yosque saying that every time he passed the fridge, he heard "Ho, ho, ho!" whispered in a way that sent chills down his spine. It also made his balls drop so hard that they came back up again and slapped him in the face like Laffy Taffy.
It wasn't long before Teddie landed underground, which happened to lead to nowhere, but the space underneath the house. Yosque was sitting there with a miniature TV and some snacks, watching his Mexican soap operas. Apparently, he wasn't even in any danger, he just came down here to watch his shows in secret. Yosque heard him arrive, but paid him no mind, too focused on the images on the screen. "Huh? Are you watching 'The Young and the Homeless'?" Teddie asked, surprised that he was watching a show he knew a little about. The show was basically 'The Young and the Restless', except with more burritos, sombreros, and less homes.
"Si, Senor. It happens all the time in Mexico." Yosque replied.
Teddie started to get mad, thinking his quest was for nothing. Basically, it was. "C'mon, Yosque! I went on this Funky Fresh Journey to find you, Brosuke! And you aren't even in trouble!" He fumed, huffing and puffing so hard he blew The Three Little Pigs' houses down, just like the Big Bad Wolf. Except the houses were just teepees that Yosque made to keep his toesies warm. Yosque yelled,
"Don't you get fresh with me, amigo! I'll slap your ass, just like my donkey!" Teddie was fresh, so fresh that he became a salad, but could still talk somehow.
"Why are you such an ass, Yosque?" His ears became like a donkey, until he was one entirely.
"Aaahhh!" Yosuke yelled, waking up with a start. "Phew, I'm glad to see that that was all a dream. Strange, why do I feel like that dream was a continuation of the one Teddie was having earlier?" Yosuke had walked downstairs and took a nap on the couch, after checking on Teddie earlier. "I guess I should follow my own advice. I had some of those mushrooms too, after all." He laughed, and got up, heading back upstairs. Once he got to his room he saw Teddie sleeping still, and walked over to his own bed.
That was the wrong thing to do apparently, as the floor collapsed in the spot beside his bed. "Shit." He fell through both floors, destroying the house around him. The whole house caved in, but Grimbo Grambo came at the last second, and saved both Yosuke and Teddie. Unfortunately, he had also drank too much, so he died. "Well, I guess we'll have to find a new place to live." Yosuke said, and Teddie agreed. The first place they checked was Yu Narukami's house, to see if they could stay there for a while. Nanako answered the door, and Yosuke said something stupid, like usual.
"Hey Nanako, is your mom home? I'd like to ask her if we can stay here." Nanako glared at him,
"My mom is dead!" She yelled, in a deeper voice than a little girl should have, and punched him in the face. Her cute little girl arms were somehow powerful enough to launch Yosuke and Teddie into another adventure. One where they were thrown into a time loop that consisted of them being socked repeatedly.
The End…or is it?