JANE'S TERMS
1- Teresa Lisbon to be offered a position working with me at the FBI*
2 - FBI to drop all charges against me**
3 - FBI to assume cost of new Air Stream mobile home***
4 – FBI to provide couch for office****
5 – FBI to provide tea and tea cup*****
*Teresa Lisbon to have option of having sex with Mr. Jane during business hours; including but not limited to, two blowjobs per day, one wearing Chapstick Peppermint Lip Balm, the other wearing Dragon Lady Velvet Matte Lip Pencil by Nars. Lipsticks to be provided by FBI.
**Dennis Abbott to kiss Mr. Jane's ass in Macy's window (the Herald Square flagship store in New York City; none of that suburban mall crap).
***Air Stream to be customized to Mr. Jane's specifications including but not limited to, wood-burning fireplace, private theater, sauna and brick pizza oven. Christian Liagre to design interior and furnishings. Porsche to design, install and maintain upgraded engine. Air Stream to be parked in Director of FBI's parking space.
****Kim Fischer to carry couch up stairs and into office by herself.
*****Marco PoloTea to be measured out and packed in black enamel canister by Marie-Pascale at Mariage Freres Paris store and hand-carried to U.S. weekly via courier sitting in first class. Original blue tea cup to be glued back together by Dennis Abbott. Mr. Jane reserves the right to reject Mr. Abbott's work and make him start again.