Duty
I lay alone in this bed, staring at the ceiling, the door, the drapery surrounding it. I stare at anything at all except the empty spot beside me. Because I know, looking at that spot makes my heart ache and my stomach knot.
I try not to be bitter. I have no right to bitterness. After all, this was what I had wanted, was it not? I had sprung it on Alistair at the Landsmeet and had been pleased he hadn't turned me down flat.
A Cousland now sat on the throne. And, my darling Alistair was my king. What more could a woman want?
I close my eyes and try to blink away the pain. He'd been my first and my only, as I had been his, but that was no longer true. I had given my sweet king to a woman once, out of love, to save us both from a fate I could not bear to befall him. And now…now I was giving him away again, for the cursed specter of duty.
Yes, a Cousland always does her duty. And tonight the Couslands were doing double duty. Me, alone in my bed not making a fuss as my husband bedded another woman. And my cousin, down the hall, living hidden away in the private quarters of the castle, letting a man she barely knew lay with her, all for the sake of a Theirin heir.
There would be many nights like these in my future, and hers. And the torment wouldn't end when she finally got with child. She would face nine months of hiding herself away, while I got to play dress up, and act the part of the pregnant queen, carrying Ferelden's future in her secretly barren womb.
Once the babe was born and determined healthy my cousin would finally be able to enjoy her freedom again. Alistair would help find her a good match for a husband, since he had claimed her maidenhood as well. Even Fergus was helping with our little plot, providing a bigger parcel of land for her and her soon to be husband to live on.
Ferelden's future will be secured by the Couslands and their infamous duty. And the only thing it will cost is two Cousland hearts. I wonder if all Couslands loathe duty as much as I in the end?