What Was I Thinking On The X Files?
Originally What Was I Thinking by Christine Lavin
Author's Note: The italicized print is Mulder. The regular is Scully. The bold is both. Please review after you read! it's always appreciated!
It was a last-minute job promotion
I was supposed to debunk Fox
I went down to his office
It was covered in posters and newspapers and could have passed for a shoebox
I said I was assigned to be his partner
He said he thought I was just a spy
When he made his ten millionth sarcastic remark
I was tempted to let my fist fly
What were they thinking?
Was it something I said?
When this guy was a baby he must have been dropped on his head
What were they thinking?
Look at this room
"I Want To Believe"…That I will die soon.
Walter Skinner said, "I know you're gonna love him."
He's an agent named Alex Krycek
We had to assign him to man like you
Because his looks distract the other sex
So I figured, so what if he's Russian?
I mean really, maybe he wants the truth too
Makes you wonder 'bout your bosses and their motivations
When they appoint a traitor to you
What was he thinking?
Who is this guy?
He's trying to throw me off a ski lift so I'll tragically die
What was he thinking?
Quick, get Scully back
I've got enough monsters after me without this communist on crack
The Lone Gunmen
Ah, Walter Skinner
Deep Throat too
The X Files rock
Oh, it was late; I had insomnia
Eugene Tooms started to look like he was hungry
I thought to myself, should I tail him?
I heard Donnie Pfaster's voice say, "Yes, you should."
And those creepy clone girls
And that hermaphroditic fluke worm
And the super-evil Cigarette Smoking Man
Now I can barely go outside my apartment
People try to kill me whenever they can
What was I thinking?
The truth's not out there
My reputation's sinking
At least Mulder… and Skinner… and the Lone Gunmen care
What was I thinking?
I have few friends
What was I thinking?
My leads are dead-ends
What was I thinking?
When will this end?
What was I thinking?
Okay, that's the end