Hey guys!
I recently started watching Gilmore Girls and I am in love with Jess Mariano. He's such a babe, and I just wanna hug him and love him forever. Anyway, this is my first Literati story (obviously) so I hope you like it. Let me know if I should write more.
Also,for those of you reading my Smallville story, I'm so sorry for abandoning it! I just haven't had the muse for it since I finished the show, but I'm going to try and update it soon and maybe even finish it? Idk, I'm trying my best. I love that story so I don't want to completely abandon it.
Anyway, leave some reviews, favorite and all that. And yeah. Enjoy :)
Jess had been… off. Rory could tell from the second he walked into Kyle's house that something was wrong, but she didn't want to ask. She knew that her boyfriend wasn't big on sharing his feelings, and that if he did want to tell Rory what was going on, he would. She wasn't going to push him, knowing that if she did, she might just end up pushing him away.
Seeing Dean hadn't helped, though his presence never failed to put Jess in an even worse mood than he already was in. To be honest, he didn't understand his extended hatred for Rory's ex-boyfriend. He had won, gotten the girl and Dean had been left in the dust, and yet he couldn't help but continue to hate Dean. Maybe it was principle, or his pride, but something about the bagboy really grinded his gears. So after the short exchange with Dean and Lindsey, Jess had bolted, and left Rory by herself.
Rory wandered a bit, trying to find her boyfriend, and when Young Chiu informed the brunette that he saw Jess head upstairs, she made a beeline for the steps. Walking up she passed Dean and Lindsey, both giving her the same looks they had been giving her for weeks but she just chose to ignore it; they didn't matter right now. All that mattered was finding Jess and making sure all was well.
The first door on the right was open a bit, so Rory decided to check it out. She peeked in, looking to her left before walking in a bit more and spotting Jess, seated in a chair in the corner of the room. "There you are," she said, catching her boyfriend's attention and possibly startling him a bit. "Hey." His tone was the same as before.
"I've been looking all over for you," she wanted to offer a smile, but decided against it, walking further into the room and pushing the door open a little more. "I just got tired of everything down there," Jess said, leaning his arms on his knees as Rory shut the door. The darkness further enveloped the room.
"Are we allowed to be up here?" Rory questioned as the door shut completely and walked over to Jess. "I mean Kyle was kind of discouraging it." "Well it's a party; you get what you get," Jess stood as he spoke, his hands shoved in his pocket as him and Rory approached each other. He could feel the tense air and he hated it; he hated that he had let the school situation get so out of control. As much as Jess hated the idea of prom, he loved to make Rory happy, and all she wanted to do was go to the Stars Hollow High prom. But he couldn't take her, because he had flunked out. And now he didn't know how to tell her.
"Yeah, I guess," Rory tugged on the sleeves of her jacket, looking up at Jess with her big blue eyes. "Sad boy," she reached her hand up to caress his cheek; her tone was almost playful, enough so where saying the odd phrase was accepted, but serious enough where he could tell he was truly concerned about him. Rory was right: Jess was sad. He had been so excited for this party less than 24 hours ago, and for some reason unknown to Rory, he had done a complete 180. She wanted to help, but didn't know how. "What's wrong?"
Though things were tense, Jess still leaned into Rory's touch, finding it oddly comforting considering everything that was going on in his head. For a second, he forgot that he flunked out of high school, that he wasn't graduating, and that he couldn't take Rory to the prom. Then it all came back as her hand dropped from his face and he shook his head.
"You were looking forward to this party," Rory pointed out. "What happened?" "Nothing." Again, Jess' tone was simple, monotonous as he looked his girlfriend in the eye and lied right to her face. He felt sick doing so; sure, Jess had always been a bit of a liar, but not to Rory. The only other time he truly lied to her was when he didn't tell her about the swan incident, and even something as harmless as that made him hate himself. He knew lying to her was a bad idea, that she'd understand—she always understood—but he just didn't want to disappoint her.
"Something did," Rory shook her head. "Common, tell me." Jess knew that Rory wasn't dumb—she was probably the smartest person he had met in his entire life—and that she'd see right through his terrible attempt at lying. So instead of trying to make up a story as to why he was acting the way he was acting, Jess leaned forward and captured Rory's lips in a short kiss.
He pulled away and looked into her beautiful blue eyes, watching as she bit down on her lip and looked up at him with that innocent look that she liked to use. "You're not tired of me, are you?" This time, her tone was playful, and again instead of responding with words Jess let his actions to the trick; he leaned forward, a hand coming up to cup her cheek as he kissed her once more, this time with a little bit more passion. Rory could feel it, and smiled into the kiss, satisfied.
"That's a pretty good answer," Rory responded when they pulled away, a smile on her face. Jess loved her smile more than anything else, and the fact that he was able to make her smile made him feel all warm inside. Not that he'd ever admit that out loud.
Their foreheads leaned against one another, and after sucking in a breath they once again looked deeply into each other's eyes before connecting lips. This third kiss was the most passionate, and definitely longer. Their arms wrapped around each other, one of her hands in Jess' hair as the kiss deepened. Rory hadn't even realized that they had started moving over to the bed until she felt Jess lower himself, and of course she followed suit.
His hands were pressed against her waist and back as Jess smoothly moved Rory onto her back, not breaking the kiss once. Their bodies were in an awkward position for a second until Jess moved to hover over Rory, disconnecting their lips for less than a second before kissing her again, this time pressing harder.
Rory and Jess had been in this position numerous times: on the couch at his place, on his bed, on the couch in her living room, and even once on her bed. But all those times, the rules were pretty clear; they'd kiss for a while, maybe cop a feel with much needed clothing in between and then take a break for a bit. Usually during the break they'd read if they felt like it, or got food and there was almost always coffee involved. They might move to a different spot, start a movie or TV show, only to find themselves back in the same familiar position. It was routine, and usually if the routine threatened to break, Luke or Lorelai would show up to remind them of how comfortable the routine was. It was easier to follow this path, even though they both knew that they wanted more.
But for Rory, the moment just wasn't right; she could feel Jess pressing his hips against hers more than normal, and though she didn't protest while their lips were pressed together, the second he moved to her neck, she spoke up. "Jess," she mumbled, her arms still wrapped around his neck and her fingers still in his hair. "Wait."
Her tone wasn't very convincing, which is why she wasn't surprised when he didn't stop. Rory herself wasn't too sure she wanted to stop, but there was a voice in her head that reminded her that this wasn't right; she didn't want her first time ever—her first time with Jess—to be in a bedroom in Kyle's house in the middle of a party. And she especially didn't want it to happen while Jess was clearly not in the best of places. She wanted it to be perfect, and right, and this just wasn't it.
"Jess—" Once again Rory went to protest, but before she could speak anymore her boyfriend pressed his lips firmly against hers again. She mumble against his lips, and thankfully he pulled away again to kiss her neck. "Wait—"
That's when she felt his hand begin to wander towards uncharted waters, and the rational side of her began to scream inside of her head. Stop this. Now Rory. The rational side of her sounded a lot like her mother's voice, and instantly, Rory was no longer in the mood. "Jess," her tone was firm as she pushed him off of her, quickly moving to her feet to put some distance between them.
"Jeez," he almost growled out as he stood up, facing her with an unreadable expression on his face. Rory hated when she couldn't read Jess, because he wasn't one to share his feelings, leaving her completely in the dark most of the time. "Not here," she said as if it were so obvious. "Not now."
"Fine," Jess almost sounded angry, and Rory's blue eyes widened. "What's wrong with you?" she questioned in a frantic yet concerned tone, done playing games. Clearly he was upset about something, something big, and Rory was done trying to pretend that everything was okay. "Nothing is wrong with me," Jess insisted in a louder voice, but Rory wasn't convinced.
"Someone could… walk in that door," Rory was rationalizing, trying to calm him down so that she'd be able to talk to him. She hated when Jess got like this, all closed off like he was alone in the world. She knew he felt like that most of the time, but it was her job to remind him that she was in this with him. "And Santa Clause could come down the chimney," Jess' tone was sarcastic, and it caused Rory to mentally take a step back, confused as to why he was being so harsh towards her. "Whatever."
"You did not think it was gonna happen like this, did you?" Rory questioned, confused about the whole situation. Jess had never pushed her, and she always thought that he understood that she needed time. "I don't know what I think anymore."
Jess was being cryptic, he knew he was, but he had developed the defense mechanism of pushing people away long before he met Rory. When things were hard, he just shut everyone out, figuring he could piece everything back together himself. That never really worked, and he usually ended up lonely, but for some reason he couldn't stop himself. No matter how badly he wanted to just hold Rory close, and tell her everything, it's like he was in autopilot.
"Jess—" Rory had a whole speech planned out in her head, about how she was here for him and how she wanted to help him with whatever was going on in his head. But she never got the chance to say anything but his name, her boyfriend cutting her off. "Rory just stop—just stop," This was the harshest Rory had ever heard Jess speak, and it caused her to physically take a step back this time. "I did not invite you up here you came up here on your own."
Rory was speechless, and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes; she hated this, so much. "I—I don't know what I did," she said before bolting from the room, refusing to let Jess see her cry. "You didn't do anything," Jess said more to himself as he let out a loud sigh, following behind Rory quickly and calling her name.
Rory blocked out his voice, focusing on finding the stairs, then the door, and then going home. She didn't want to cry while still in the house, but the tears fell freely as she made her way down the stairs, and even more so when Dean stopped her. "Rory?" he questioned, not allowing her to pass as she whipped her eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Yes," she forced out, letting out a breath. "No. I don't know." "Woah, what happened?" Dean asked, but before Rory could answer, Jess was making his way down the stairs to meet the former couple mid conversation. The second his presence was known Dean looked at Jess, and Rory sniffled as she whipped under her nose. "Figures," he nodded at them, heading the rest of the way down the stairs.
Jess knew that was a dumb move, assuming something about Rory and Dean that he knew wasn't true, but he just wasn't making any of the right decisions tonight. He shut Rory out, something he promised himself he'd stop doing, and then forced himself on her only to flip out when she didn't want to have sex. He was being a dick, she deserved someone better.
"Dean, no," Jess heard from behind him, and it was only then that he realized that Dean was probably following behind him. Jess just hoped he'd make it to the door before anything happened, but of course his wishes were never granted; he felt Dean grab his shoulder and whip him around before sucker punching him right in the face.
Rory's eyes widened, and instantly she felt a pit begin to form in her stomach; this was the last thing she wanted, though something in her said that this had been bubbling up ever since Jess moved to Stars Hollow. The two despised each other from the second they'd met, and though she had originally put it off to jealousy on both parts, it was clear now that it was more than that. They genuinely hated each other, and no matter how happy the two of them were with the situation, Dean and Jess would always hate each other.
The next few minutes were a blur; Jess and Dean were fighting their way through the house, and Rory followed them in an attempt to end the brawl. She knew there was nothing she could do though, and while others who stood a chance tried to intervene, it wasn't working. They punched and tackled and shoved from the living room, to the kitchen, back through the living room and outside of the house where most of the party followed.
Rory came running when she realized the boys were outside, and was relieved when she saw two boys pulling Jess and Dean apart. "Guys just stop it!" she called to them, hoping that one of them would hear her pleas end the fighting. When Jess and Dean broke from their restraints, Rory was scared that the fighting would continue, but with the sounds of police sirens in the distance, the two just glared threateningly at one another, breathing heavily.
"Okay, dump your cups and go home," one of the officers said as more came towards Kyle's house; Rory, however wasn't paying any mind to them. "Jess," she said in a pleading tone, taking a small step towards him and pausing as he shook his head and turned, crossing the street and making his way towards the diner.
"Rory," Dean's tone was the same one that she had just used on Jess, and in that moment Rory had a choice: she could stay, picking Dean and possibly even getting back together with him, or she could follow Jess and get to the bottom of everything. She knew which one was the easier choice, the one her mother and the rest of the town would be most pleased with, the one that made the most sense in her head. But her heart told her otherwise.
Looking over to Dean, he offered her a comforting smile and she knew what she had to do. Swallowing a lump in her throat she allowed herself to look at where Jess had been before looking back at Dean; she could see a shimmer of hope in his eyes, and though she never wanted to hurt him, she couldn't wait anymore. "I'm sorry Dean," she said simply before taking off, running down the street and following behind her boyfriend.
Jess, for one, was happy that his uncle was staying at the inn with Nicole tonight; if Luke were home and Jess walked in as he was, there'd be questioning, and yelling, and Jess just wasn't in the mood for this tonight. Quickly he made his way through the town square, and with the diner in sight he let out a breath. He was still all worked up about what had just happened, but at least if he were alone, he could let it all out.
"Jess!" he could hear a familiar voice calling his name, and Jess quickly blocked Rory out as he crossed the empty street and approached the door. She was far enough away that he was confident that he could unlock the door and get inside before she reached him. He searched his pockets for his keys, unable to find them right away and instantly panicking. He didn't want to talk to Rory—no, he didn't deserve to talk to Rory. "Jess wait." She was closer than he had thought.
"Go away Rory," Jess said, finding his keys in his back pocket and shoving them into the lock, pushing the door open and closing it behind him; the door, however, never clicked. Rory had stuck her foot in between the door and the doorframe, allowing herself into the dark diner and closing the door behind her quickly. "Jess please," She pleaded. "I want to talk."
"Jess wait." Jess avoided her, making his way up the stairs with his girlfriend hot on his tail. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" Rory shouted in a tone that Jess had never heard before, and it caused him to stop midway up the staircase. Rory stood at the bottom, with Jess' still back to her, and when he didn't continue up the stairs she decided to keep talking. Things were already bad, how much worse could she made it?
"Because something is definitely wrong," she insisted. "All day, you've been acting completely disconnected—more than usual—and when I try to help you just brush me off. Then you get mad when I won't sleep with you in Kyle's parent's bed, and then you're fighting Dean."
"Hey!" Jess fired back, turning to look at her and moving a step down, pointing a finger in her face threateningly. "Dean threw the first punch, I was just giving him what he deserved." With that, Jess turned and once again began to make his way up to the apartment, Rory following behind him quickly as he entered the apartment. "That doesn't answer my question, Jess. What is going on with y—"
"I flunked out."
Jess's tone was loud, but a lot less frantic than it had been all night. His body was facing Rory's once again and they were both frozen in their spots, both in shock of the truth that were behind those words. Rory had expected him to push her away, like he had been doing all day, or make something up and change the subject. She was ready for a fight, and possibly even a break up, as much as she didn't want it. But this? She wasn't prepared for this.
"What?" Rory took a step further into the room slowly, making sure Jess didn't retreat from her in defense. The wall that Jess had held up for so long was crumbling before her eyes, and all Rory wanted to do was pull him into her arms and tell him it was all going to be okay. But being too direct might frighten him away, and she didn't want to. The situation was delicate, she knew that, so she let him make the next move.
A huff escaped Jess' lips as he ran his fingers through his messy hair, shaking his head. "I thought I had it all under control," he said in a frustrated tone, beginning to pace the room. "I mean, sure, I missed a couple of days, but I kept up with my homework and did well on all my tests. I thought that'd be enough."
"You haven't been going to school," Rory said more to herself than to Jess, though she thought he could hear her clearly that wasn't the case because he kept talking.
"I picked up a few shifts here and there, it wasn't a big deal."
"You haven't been going to school."
"And now I can't even go to summer school, I have to re-do the year."
"You haven't been going to school."
"God Luke's going to kill me."
"You haven't been going to school."
The last one was louder, harsher even, and it caused Jess to stop his talking and look over at Rory for the first time since he had spilled the beans. Her expression was unreadable, and for a moment he understood what it felt like to be dating himself. He sighed.
"I defended you," Rory spoke up. "When my mom said you weren't going to school, that you were skipping, I defended you to her. I said you had changed, that you were doing better. You said you were doing better." She huffed, letting her frustration out. "I can't believe you lied to me."
"I didn't lie," Jess corrected, taking a step towards her and shaking his head. "I swear, I thought I had everything under control. And then when I went to buy prom tickets they told me to go see Merton in his office—" "Prom," Rory breathed out, looking at Jess with her big blue eyes. He stopped, realizing he had opened an even bigger can of worms now, and he shook his head.
"I'm so sorry, Rory," his tone was genuine as his hand came up to caress her arm, trying to prove how sorry he truly was. It was just a dumb dance, at least that's what Jess thought, but he knew that it was so much more to Rory. It was prom, and while she didn't attend Stars Hollow High anymore, her friends did, Lane did, and she wanted to be there.
A silence fell over them like a blanket that was too itchy and too small, suffocating them and making them feel very uncomfortable. Rory wanted not to be mad, but she couldn't help it. She felt so stupid for defending Jess, but her heart was discouraging those thoughts; she wanted to believe that Jess had a good reason for what he had done.
"Why?" she asked quietly, not pulling away from him but not looking at him. "Why did you feel the need to pick up extra shifts at Walmart? What do you need the money for?"
This was it. The moment of truth. The moment where Jess finally decided if he was going to be a man and tell the truth or lie and run away like he always had. The second option would be easiest. Jess could break up with Rory and be packed up by morning; he had enough cash to buy a bus ticket to anywhere on the east coast, considering his car was still gone, and he'd be out of her life forever. She could move on, meet a guy who could treat her right, become successful as hell and forget all about the punk that broke her heart in high school.
But then again, his heart was leaning more towards the first option. Honesty seemed to work the first time, and while he could tell that Rory was hurt by his original decision to lie to her, at least if he was being honest with her now they could work this out. He wanted to work it out, as much as he knew she deserved better.
Sighing, Jess walked over to his side of the room and pulled open the drawer of the nightstand next to his bed. This confused Rory, but instead of just standing there like an idiot she walked behind him and tried to see what he was doing. "Jess?" she questioned, and before she could go further he turned around with a small piece of paper in his hand. He looked at it for a second before looking to Rory and handing it to her.
Upon touch, Rory was able to tell that the small piece of paper had once been a part of a page in the New Haven Register. "What's this?" she asked, looking at Jess; he said nothing in response, motioning to the paper before she began to read the fine print.
It was an ad for a one bedroom apartment in New Haven; the person was desperate to move out by the end of July, but the price per month was a bit more expensive than she knew the apartments in New Haven to be. Then she read the address and knew why; it was right off of Yale's campus.
Rory's breath caught in her throat and she read the words over three times before looking up at Jess, a confused look on her face. "It was supposed to be your graduation gift," Jess explained. "I know we said 22.8 miles wasn't far but—" Jess couldn't finish his sentence because Rory had flung herself at him, pressing her lips to his.
Rory's arms went around his neck, kissing Jess passionately; after a second he realized what was going on and kissed her back, but just as quickly he came to his senses and pulled away from her. They were out of breath, leaning on one another for support as their foreheads pressed together.
"I love you."
The words flew out of Rory's mouth before she could have time to process them, but once they were out, she didn't regret them one bit. Rory knew for a long time that she felt this way about the mysterious boy from New York that had shown up in her small town over a year ago. She first realized it when she ditched school to go see him in the big city, and then again when she risked her perfect relationship with Dean to be with him. Being with Jess just made sense, no matter how much they fought or pushed each other away.
Jess, however, was reeling. After the night that they had had, he was expecting her to break up with him, or at least ask for some time apart so that she could think. But instead, she said the three words that changed a relationship forever. Those three simple words scared the shit out of him, but at the same time he welcome them without even realizing it.
"You what?" Jess questioned anyway, wanting to make sure that Rory didn't regret what she had said. Letting out a breath, Rory's hands slid down to rest on Jess' cheeks. "I'm in love with you, Jess Mariano," she repeated without hesitation, her tone just as light and airy as before, but with more purpose. She wasn't saying it on a whim anymore; it was clear that Rory Gilmore was truly and deeply in love with Jess Mariano. And he wanted to say it back.
But the words were stuck in his throat, and as much as he tried to push them up, it was like Jess had no control. He had never said those words to anyone before, not even to his own mother, so it was like trying to speak a new language for the first time. Rory could see him struggling, but the glow about her didn't falter one bit.
"I know," she said simply, caressing his cheeks. "You don't have to say it back. Not now, anyway. I know how you feel." The last thing Rory wanted to do was to push Jess to say something he wasn't comfortable with; she knew how he felt, and she knew that forcing him to say he loved her too would just push him away.
After a second of looking into her beautiful eyes, Jess pressed his lips to Rory with a passion that had never been felt between the two; it was eager and frantic, but gentle and full of love. Rory stumbled back slightly but kept her hold on Jess, kissing him back with the same amount of love and passion that he had used. From there they stumbled back onto the bed, finding themselves in a similar position to that of earlier that night, but this time, Rory was the one to try and push it forward.
"Rory," Jess breathed out, turning his head to the side so her nose was pressed up against his cheek and their breathing was heavy, Rory's hand under his shirt. After a second he moved so he was looking down at her, giving her a confused look. "I'm ready," Rory said in a sure tone, but Jess didn't move. Sighing, Rory leaned up and kissed him tenderly before pulling away. "It's right, Jess. Now is right."
Their clothes began to disappear one by one; jackets flew across the room, shoes fell to the floor, shirts found themselves hanging off the bed, and pants were slipped off with much more ease than had been expected. While it was Rory's first time it wasn't Jess', and he was more than comfortable taking the lead. He made sure to make Rory as comfortable as possible, stopping when he feared she was in pain and going on when she begged him to keep going. They both finished and dropped themselves onto the bed, blankets wrapped around their bodies.
Rory moved his arm so that she was tucked between it and his chest, the blankets wrapped around her as to not reveal her more personal parts. Never in her life had she ever felt so happy, or so safe, or so comfortable, and she never wanted to leave Jess' bed. Burying her face tiredly into his chest Rory pressed a kiss to his bare skin and he smiled, kissing her forehead.
His fingers played with her hair as he looked down at her, completely content. Sure, he wasn't going to graduate, and sure Luke was going to flip out when he found out, and he'd probably lose the apartment because he was going to have to stay in Stars Hollow to finish school, but Jess didn't care. He had Rory, and he knew that with her help he'd get through this. He had to if he wanted to become the type of man that deserved a Gilmore girl.
"So I guess we're going to have to settle for 22.8 miles," Jess said in a quiet tone, causing Rory to roll onto her stomach next to him and look at her boyfriend. His head was on the pillow and she ran her fingers through his messy hair, pressing her lips together. "We can do this, right?"
A small smile appeared on Rory's face and she leaned up, pressing a soft kiss to Jess' lips before laying her head back down on his chest and closing her eyes. She knew this would be harder than expected, but Rory was ready to make this work. "Let's talk about this tomorrow," she mumbled, beginning to fall into a comfortable sleep.
"Hey Rory," Jess whispered against her hair, which caused her to mumble a response against his skin. "I love you too."