Notes
Just finished Saeran's route after months and months of not playing Mystic Messenger and putting it off. I haven't even done V's route yet, despite having my account for over 700 days now lmao. I'll be honest, while I enjoyed the game, and loved Jumin and Seven's routes, I never really cared all that much about MM until getting to know Saeran in the secret endings. And I was not disappointed by his route at all. I know some people were, I guess, but for me...
It was really personal almost aha. I won't go into details, but his relationship with MC by the end strongly reminds me of my own relationship, and during some of the VN modes I was actually in tears, whoops. Everything about Saeran just resonated with me so strongly, so after finishing it, I really just wanted to write something. So this is what I wrote! It's a bit weird, and slightly personal - involves a lot of my own headcanons for the MC, but there's never a name mentioned or anything, but I hope someone manages to enjoy anyway. I may end up writing something that's less than a mess of emotions for Saeran/MC at some point, but right now I'm just a ball of emotions pff.
It had been months since Saeyoung had been found, and slowly, slowly, things were returning back to a peaceful state.
You wouldn't say they were returning back to normal - nothing had been normal in your life since you had agreed to get in some car and play some weird dating game. If Saeran had caught you on any other day, you most likely wouldn't have agreed, and you hated thinking about that possibility. You were happy, now; happier than you'd been in a long time.
Zen's career had skyrocketed, every one of his shows were sold out. Yoosung had finally found a major he wanted to focus on, one where he didn't feel lost following - game design. Jaehee found her place back as Jumin's assistant, no longer heading the intelligence unit, and Jumin had somehow managed to take care of everything concerning the media quickly.
Saeyoung was okay, in one piece, and words couldn't describe the look on his face when he first saw his brother again.
V was still missing.
And Saeran, he was doing his best.
Saeyoung didn't really know how to handle this new version of his brother. When he had left him, Saeran was a sweet, tender child, and while that sweet child was still in there…
There was also so much that Saeyoung didn't understand. Saeran didn't exactly make it easy to understand, either, you knew. He was still unsure if his brother was safe, despite knowing that he had been lied to for so long. How could all of that just float away, though? It was unreasonable to expect that of him, so you didn't.
Instead, you would talk it out with him. Get to the bottom of it. Then, with his permission, you would relay his misgivings to Saeyoung, who would then begin to understand bit by bit the man his brother now was.
Slowly, slowly, the two of them would get back on the same page. You were sure of it. Even if sometimes Saeran looked at Saeyoung as if he were a stranger, one that he would never open up to, you saw right through him. The love was still there. It just might take awhile, but that was alright.
Your small apartment was never meant to be for two people - all you could afford was a small studio, there wasn't even a full kitchen - but you didn't mind all that much. There was a small part of you that would miss having your own space, you'd been alone for so long, after all, but Saeran was more important than that longing would ever be. It was incredible to you, really, that you could fall so completely in love with someone so fast, even after everything that had happened to you.
There was a reason you had been alone and willing to go with a complete stranger that day, after all. You had told Saeran one night, when he was awake and you couldn't sleep, about your life. He had listened carefully, never interrupting, shyly asking questions when you would pause to catch your breath. At the end of your story, he pulled you into him, letting you know he understood.
"I understand now, why you were able to love me so easily from the very beginning," he told you honestly. "It hurts me so much to know you've been through so many hardships in your life, but now," taking your hands in his, he let out a puff of air before continuing. "But now we don't have to suffer alone. I'll always be here for you, I promise."
You believed him.
Slowly, your life had begun to change. You had expected everything to happen so quickly - you had only known Saeran for about a week before deciding to drop everything and save him, so of course you expected everything else to happen quickly, as well. But no; things went slowly.
It started with a few extra clothes left in your apartment. Then it was a toothbrush, an extra phone charger. Saeran had been given a place to stay by Jumin until he got on his feet, but before you knew it, he was practically living with you in your cramped studio room.
You couldn't find it within you to mind, really.
Healing was a process, you knew. It was a process you were still going through, and that you knew would take Saeran years to get through. You were aware that it was unlikely he'd ever be completely healed, the way that someone who hadn't gone through trauma would expect.
He knew that you knew differently, and he was always grateful.
The nights that were the hardest - where he broke, and cried, and screamed - you would stay up with him, rubbing his back, letting him get everything out. The screaming didn't bother you, though you were positive it bothered your neighbors. Holding his hand, rubbing his back, these were small things, but as long as you could do something, you didn't mind.
You had made him a promise, that he'd never have to go through this alone ever again. You would keep that promise no matter what.
"I want a house," he said to you as a morning greeting.
You blinked, still bleary from waking up, not really registering what he had said. Looking at him dumbly, you repeated what you thought you heard. "A house?"
He smiled at you, his green eyes crinkling in the way you loved so much. Years of sleep deprivation was hard to fight, but the bags under his eyes had slowly started to disappear throughout the last eight months or so.
Saeran pulled out the chair for you, putting french toast down onto your plate, syrup already on the table ready for you. You smiled up at him gratefully before digging in, knowing he wouldn't want you to wait.
"A house," he confirmed now that you were a bit more awake. "I want a garden, a kitchen, I want… I want a life with you, if you'll let me." His confession was sweet, his cheeks tinged pink, and you put your fork down to look at him fully.
"Saeran," you told him, voice gentle. "I don't… have a lot of money. I'm a bit broke, if you couldn't tell," you chuckled, motioning around to your small studio. His face started to shift, and you quickly continued, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "I want that, too. I want a real home with you. But we already have a life together, we don't need a nice house for that. We're here, together, and I'm not going anywhere. But," you took a deep breath. "I think we can make that happen, somehow, anyway."
It was a big decision - living with a boyfriend that you hadn't even known a full year, buying a house with him. The few friends you had outside the RFA would laugh at you, call you crazy. Your father wouldn't even know where to begin. Your mother - well, you hadn't spoken to her in years, but she would never approve.
That was alright with you. The wide smile Saeran broke into when he murmured "I love you" before his lips touched yours was worth it, to you.
There were snacks everywhere. Gentle but upbeat music played throughout the small house, and the entire RFA was here to celebrate you and Saeran's new home, together.
You almost wanted to cry.
It had taken a lot of work to find this place, tucked away into a quiet neighborhood, but with Saeran's unexpectedly easy time finding work as a freelance coder, money quickly became a non-issue for the two of you. Never in your life had you imagined owning a home at 21, but here you were, beautiful hand grown garden and all.
You grabbed the bowl of chips from the kitchen - a full kitchen! With an island! - to bring back into the living room, where everyone was hanging out. The sight of your boyfriend and his brother next to each other, talking and smiling together, nearly had tears welling in your eyes.
It had taken so long for them to be able to talk like this, and you knew they would never get those years of their lives back, but you were so happy for them. The twins deserved it so much.
Immediately after you walked into the room, Saeran's eyes found yours, and he smiled easily. You smiled back, just as easily, still amazed at how much everything made sense with him.
Love wasn't easy, love wasn't simple, but Saeran made everything make sense. Despite what you had been through, despite what he had been through, you still managed to find each other and come out on the other side.
You had come home from another long day at work, sighing as you threw off your shoes.
"Welcome home," your boyfriend said from in the kitchen, and even in spite of your exhaustion, you smiled fully at the sound.
Saeran, as usual, was cooking, but your eyes didn't focus on him immediately.
"Lily of the valley?" You asked, gesturing towards the beautiful flowers on the kitchen table. You had always liked flowers, even before meeting Saeran, but ever since you'd met him your knowledge of them had grown immensely. He loved to talk about them, and through him, you picked up on many things. You could now tell many flowers apart with ease.
Sometimes you joked about him becoming a florist, to which he would very seriously tell you he would hate to pick that many flowers a day.
"Yup," he nodded, looking away from his cooking to smile at you. "Do you know the meaning of the flower?"
You thought for a moment, before shaking your head. "Nope, not this one. What is it?"
His smile turned mysterious. "I'll tell you after dinner."
Dinner was lovely, as it always was when Saeran cooked. The salad was fresh, using herbs and vegetables from your own garden, and the noodle dish he had prepared went with it perfectly. You had also joked in the past about him becoming a chef, but he would very seriously tell you that you were the only person he liked to cook for.
"So," you asked, eyes shifting away from devouring your meal to the flowers still on the table, "are you going to tell me what these mean or do I have to guess?"
Saeran hummed. "Close your eyes."
You let out a huff of laughter, but agreed, closing your eyes in wait.
"You can open them now," he said after a minute and some shuffling around.
You opened your eyes to see him on one knee in front of you, an open box in his hand. Immediately, your hand flew to cover your mouth.
"You are my angel," Saeran said, his nervous face betraying his calm voice. "You have been since the day I first met you. I have no right to ask you anything, after everything you've given me, but I can't help but be selfish sometimes when it comes to you."
You smiled, tears already starting to fall down your face. The ring he held was beautiful, a simple pink stone in the center of it. "Saeran…"
"Lily of the valley means the return of happiness," he explained, his eyes flicking away from yours to the white flower. "You brought not only my happiness back to me, but my entire life, and there is nothing more that I want than to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you-"
You pounced then, cutting him off unintentionally. "Yes!" You told him, laughing through your happy tears as you clung to his neck. "Yes, Saeran, of course I'll marry you!"
He started crying then, too, as he slipped the ring around your finger.
Before you had gotten into a stranger's car that fateful day, you had never expected happiness in your life. You barely had any friends, you hadn't talked to your mother in years, and you had a dead end job. There was nothing for you, you thought. No light at the end of the tunnel, no get out of jail free card. This was it, for you.
That day, you had been contemplating ending it all, or running away to somewhere so you could try to start over again, when Saeran had contacted you. That day, you figured you had nothing to lose, so why the hell not. At least it was something new, something different.
Saeran had been desperate, and you fell into his life, providing a much needed breath of fresh air and fresh perspective. The two of you saved each other, and now, you had finally found happiness together.
It had been four long years, since you had joined the RFA that fateful day, and you wouldn't change anything about your life for the world.
You smiled as you came home from work that day, lily of the valley sitting in a vase on the kitchen table, your husband smiling at you as he cooked. None of this was an unfamiliar sight, but you treasured it all the same.