Disclaimr: Once again, I do NOT own anything except the red cloud. And, as ever, I do NOT make money with this kind of nonsense (I wish I would)

How Harry Got a New Scar

"Orks", Ron cried out rather hysterically.

"Wrong book", Hermione said in a bored voice

.

Harry turned around and stared at a dozen of the ugliest creatures he'd ever seen – well, except Voldemort. He tugged at Hermione's sleeve.

"What?" she snapped and turned around, too …

"Oh"

At that moment a small and fierce looking guy appeared and started to hack the Orks in pieces with a sword. Blood was almost everywhere.

"Stop, stop, stop! Ou're going to ruin my brand new robes", Hermione commanded in her bossy voice and took her wand out of her pocket, spinning on her heel and shot around killing curses so that the Orks were dead within seconds.

"Mylady, that was amazing!" the dwarf said bowing to her and giving her a deep look. Hermione turned slightly pink and Ron started vomiting over Harry's robes but he didn't seem to notice.

"How did Ron knew that these things were called Orks" he wondered.

Hermione used her you-are-all-so-unbelievable-stupid-voice (in fact, she didn't alter her voice at all) to tell him that this was a PARODY – logic was not required. Harry fell silent again still not noticing his ruined robes.

At that moment a school girl appeared with a loud bang. She looked a bit out of place with her short school uniform, long blond hair and dreamy over-large blue eyes.

"Luna" said Harry hesitantly.

"Hey not that bad – Sailor Moon" the girl answered brightly.

"Never heard of" the dwarf shrugged and added "by the way, I'm Gimli" and gave Hermione another deep look but Ron didn't notice this time because he was staring at Sailor Moon with saliva dropping from his chin.

"Well, I'm here because the Ministry of Magic is out of owls but I have to tell you that you did underage AND illegal magic blab bla bla" Sailor Moon bubbled. Then she seemed to focus: "Wait! You can do magic?"

Hermione nodded and Sailor Moon grappled her wand waving it madly in every direction. Nothing happened. She waved even wilder and hit Ron on the cheek. He started to howl immediately.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, what have I done, does it hurt?" Sailor Moon was starting to work herself in a frenzy when at that moment a red cloud appeared with yet another loud bang. One million voices said like one: "We are the deus ex machina healing organization" and swarmed over Ron to heal his scratch.

"Anyone else?" the red cloud asked. All shook their heads but the red cloud had spotted Harry's lighting scar and attacked it furiously until the scar was gone. Hary hadn't had a chance.

The cloud formed a waving hand and vanished silently, then they came back and vanished again. This time with a bang.

Ron asked "What was that?"

"The dues ex machine healing organization" said Hermione sounding like she had a book for breakfast. Then she continued "Harry, you need a new scar!"

She took her wand and poked it violently at Harry's forehead. A scar formed looking like a waving cloud.

"It'll be fine" Hermione commented her handiwork, "what do we do now?"

"Eat!" was Ron's answer.

"The follow me", said Gimli offering his arm to Hermione, Ron jumping next to Sailor Moon and Harry bringing up the rear touching his new scar and wincing now and then.

ALL EXEUNT.

FINIS

This is just a piece of rubbish I thought about while brushing my teeth. So I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings and you, my dear readers, aren't too annoyed about the mistakes I made – I'm not a native speaker *looks out from under the kitchen table with large eyes saying I'M SORRY !*

So, if you had fun, just leave a review – you know the game