Hello again, readers of H50. This short piece had me struggling and since I don't want to embarass myself I won't even call it "humour", but it's at least not angsty like my last fic. I thank my colleague for the idea. And yes, it has happend irl. More than once. :) /B
MONDAY
"How on earth did he manage that?!"
Danny's stunned exclamation startled Kono and she flinched, fingers slipping on the keyboard.
"Brah, don't scare me!" she chastised him. "I already tried to type Mr. Moliakalaniikeola's name twice!" She glared at Danny to see what had him worked up this time. She went with her first and - okay, only - guess. "McGarrett showed up?"
"You can say that," Danny snickered.
Kono covertly peeked over the laptop to see McGarrett slinking into his office. She had to hide a giggle under her hand.
"It's quite a feat, brah, don't you think?"
Chin entered, lured by the sounds of laughter. "What are you two gawking at?"
"Well... that!" Danny waved his hands in Steve's general direction.
"Oh," Chin said knowingly. "I bumped into him in the kitchen. I wouldn't touch the coffee he made today if I were you. I'm not sure if he's going to drink it or clean his gun with it."
The trio watched as big bad SEAL all but collapsed behind his desk.
"All right." Danny cracked his knuckles and then clapped his hands together. "I'm going over there," he said determinedly. "If I'm not back in ten minutes, call SWAT."
"Be nice!" Kono called to his back.
Steve sat slumped in his chair with his head in his hands, his mug of paint stripper in front of him when Danny yanked open the door. He visibly flinched and squinted up at the intruder.
"Hey, babe," Danny greeted his partner cheerily, noting his damp forehead and red eyes. "You alright today?"
Steve looked at him with suspicion. "Yeah," he rasped, with a voice as rough as a boar's back. "Why?" How he managed to make that single word sound like a threat, Danny would never know. And also he didn't care.
"Well for starters, you my anally punctual friend, are late." He stressed the T, the way he knew Steve hated. "As in; an hour and a half late."
Steve didn't dignify that accusation with an answer. He just glared.
"Second of all," Danny continued unfazed, "your laser focus is way off target today: I'm over here." He tried to guide Steve's obviously fever bright eyes to his own.
"Slept crappy," Steve muttered and made it sound like it was all Danny's fault. He did however shift his gaze a little to the left. "I'll go over the case file and join you in a minute."
"So you don't have the mother of all colds, you shouldn't be home in bed and you feel fine, is that right?" Danny crossed his arms over his chest and dared his stubborn friend to claim just that.
"Just need coffee, 's all," Steve evaded.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. What's with the third degree anyway?"
"Well, we…" Danny made a swooping gesture to include Kono and Chin, "your trusty co-workers, tend to worry when the man in charge of our daily lives comes to work looking like this."
"Like what?" Steve challenged with a dark tone aimed at Danny, and an even darker look pointed at his traitorous colleagues across the hall. And Kono had the nerve to wave!
"How do I put it, my persnickety friend? Your attire of the day…" Danny mused and settled for gesturing at Steve's body. "Maybe… – and I'm only suggesting here! - change your shirt?" he said sweetly, and when Steve frowned and looked down in confusion, Danny didn't even try to contain his laughter. "Or is it SEAL standard to wear a tee backwards AND inside out?"
"Crap."
"C'mon, Mr. Armani. I'll drive you home."
Yes, my friend has actually done this several times. And she couldn't even claim fever induced confusion. The coffee part? That's me :)
/B