The damaged doctor and his returned angel

by SuperSky Happy Super Friday

John has been waiting for a little over a year for Sherlock and has only been surviving with the use of Sherlock's drugs he finds throughout 221b. but when Sherlock does return how will he react to johns new hobby and will he be able to convince john to quit. I do not own Sherlock or any of the characters. rated T for drug use. Hurt!Depressed!John

1. Chapter 1

I sat up quickly from my nightmare and push the hair from in front of my eyes. I just haven't found time to cut it since he left. their was just no reason to. I push myself out of bed and down the stairs. it has been one year two months sixteen days and forty seven minutes, since he left me, since he gave up. I now check the time compulsively to remind myself, I have given him two years, if he does not reappear by then I will have to assume that he really is gone and join him as soon as possible. But for now I get up brush my teeth and force a smile on my face to get Lestrade off my back and to keep from confiscating all the knives from the flat again. but as I look in the mirror I know I wont make it to the end of the two years I gave Sherlock I am barely alive now which I remind myself constantly, that I cant live I can be alive but I cant live not without Sherlock. I turn away from my reflection and decide instead on finding another of Sherlock's stash. it does not matter if it is heroin or cigarettes or whatever Sherlock has hidden it makes me forget Sherlock. makes me forget that terrible day, the blood stained sidewalk, the way the coat moved around Sherlock as he fell it was like an angels wings trying to slow his fall from grace, but not enough save him.

"aha" I exclaim as I pull\ out a small baggie full of pills, a lot more than I have ever found, hidden inside Sherlock's old friend the skull. I immediately prepped my arm and filled the needle with the clear liquid I created by crushing two of the pills, mixing the powder with water, and using my lighter to heat the mixture.

as I sit there in absolute euphoria not thinking about anything except how amazing the world was. this is why I did it for the feeling of calm that washes over me. I wasn't thinking of Sherlock or Harry or Mrs. Hudson, that is until I saw a dark figure enter my world of light it shattered my perfect image and I looked up to see Mycroft Holmes looking at me disdainfully

"You really don't know the mess you are getting yourself into here john."

and I didn't, Mycroft was right he knew the risks he was a doctor for heavens sake. but what people seem to keep forgetting was I just didn't care not without Sherlock. so I just shook his head when Mycroft offered a hand to the me. My world of light had been reduced to a couple of ashes in minutes