A/N: This has been sitting on my computer for a few months, and I'm not really proud of it, but I am posting it anyways. I'm not in the best of moods right now, and I feel like this is fitting for trying to get everything off of my chest. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: ehh... You know the drill.

He walks around the Palm Woods like he never even knew me. The only time we ever see each other nowadays is when we have to go to the studio to record a new song. People that don't know us would probably say we hate each other, and on my part that is true.

I hate what he has become. Ever since we moved to LA he acts like we were never together. I hate that every day he walks around with sunblock-girl wrapped in his arms instead of me. I hate James Diamond with every fiber of my being.

I miss the James I fell in love with so many years ago…

"Keeeeeendallllll!" a brunette boy whined from the couch in the living room.

"What?" I walked into the room to find a thirteen year old James sprawled across the couch, his lanky arms and legs spilling over the edge.

"I'm cold, come cuddle with me!"

"Get a blanket and quit whining."

"But I don't want a blanket, I want you…" he blushed, his bottom lip jutted out, and I broke.

"Fine. Move over."

A smile spread across his tan face and I couldn't help but to smile back at him as I sat beside him. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he rested his head on my chest and I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders. Snuggling into my side he sighed happily and I smiled again.

"Kendy…"

"Yeah?"

"What would you do if I kissed you right now?"

"Uhh… Um… Well, I d-don't know." I sounded like a complete idiot.

"Get ready."

"Wha-" before I could get my sentence out, James' lips lightly touched mine and just as fast they were gone.

"I love you Kendy." James smiled up at me and batted his lashes.

"I-I love you too." It felt good to finally get it off my chest, and I smiled down at him before I leaned down to kiss him a second time.

How did we end up here? I mean everyone thought we would make it through everything. Living in a small town in Minnesota, we weren't accepted by everyone. We went through name calling, being beat up, having stuff thrown at us all for nothing?

To be honest, I thought we would make it too. I never thought that we would ever brake up. I loved him with all of my heart, and I thought he felt the same way. I would have never expected for it to end this quickly, almost right after we had begun.

He was always there to protect me, but he's the one that hurt me the most…

"Jamie, where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise! Now be quiet and hold my hand." A fourteen year old James said as he grabbed my hand and led me out his bedroom window.

We walked a couple of blocks and ended up in the middle of an empty street. I was a little terrified, but I trusted James to know what he was doing. He led me through a little ally saying that it was a short cut to where ever he was taking me, and that is when I saw figures moving in my peripheral vision.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't little Jamie and Kendy…" a husky voice rang out and I knew who it was, with it taunting James and I every day.

"What do you want Curt?" A burly boy stepped out from the shadows and my body automatically tensed up, remembering the last time he beat us up after hockey practice.

"Oh, I just thought I would come and chat." With the last word he punched me in the stomach sending me to my knees in pain.

"DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM!" James' voice bellowed out as if something in him had finally snapped.

Before I knew it, James was sitting on top of Curt punching him in the face multiple times. With each punch it sounded like James was getting closer and closer to breaking the guys face. I moved over to them and slowly pulled James off of him. Curt quickly got up and ran off into the night.

"James, that was… amazing."

"I can't stand seeing you get hurt." He ran his hand through my hair and my eyes slowly shut before he kissed me.

"I love you Jamie." I breathed against his lips.

"I love you too."

I guess I should have seen it coming. Sure we made the pact with the other guys that after we moved to LA that we would never change, but I had a secret pact with James, a pact to say that we wouldn't let Hollywood change our relationship, for us to stay as strong as we were in Minnesota. He was supposed to keep his word, but now his word is no good.

I thought I could trust him to stay the same old James, but I was wrong. He changed so quickly that I didn't even have time to completely understand what was going on. It started with saying that he didn't want other people to know we were together, because of the band, and ended up with me heartbroken.

Somewhere something went wrong…

"Kendall? Are you home?"

"Yeah!" I yelled from James and my shared bedroom as he started walking down the hall and walked into the room.

"Hey."

"Hey baby." I got up and wrapped my arms around his neck, placing a soft kiss to his lips, but he didn't respond. "What's wrong?"

"We need to talk." The four most dreaded words in the history of the world.

"O-ok." Taking my hand he led me over to my bed and sat us both down.

"I know we made the pact to not let Hollywood change our relationship, but I think it's time we ended it."

"Wha- You and me- I love- I mean- huh?" I babbled trying to make sense of the words spilling from his lips.

"It's just for the best Kendall. I mean, it's not like we're really together right know with having to keep us a secret…" he trailed off looking at the floor.

"No, we're not really together right now because you don't want to be with me anymore! All you do is avoid me in public, and now even when we come home you don't want to cuddle or anything!" My voice got higher and higher with each word. I had seen it coming, but I hoped it never would come to this.

"Kendall, let's not make this a big deal…"

"It is a big deal James! We have been together for three years and you're just ending it so abruptly! To me that is a big deal! I mean you could at least give me a reason!"

"It's just time."

"It's just time? IT'S JUST TIME! That is the worst reason I have ever heard of! You could have at least elaborated on it! Like Gustavo told me, or I never really loved you, or-"

"There's someone else Kendall." He interrupted me and my words, along with my heart, hit the floor.

"W-what?"

"There is someone else Kendall… I know I should have told you sooner, but I didn't want to hurt you."

"Too late."

How could I have been so stupid? For three months of our relationship he was cheating on me with sunblock-girl, and I didn't notice a thing! But apparently everyone and their brother knew, because when I talked to the other guys about it, they said they thought we had been over for a long time. I was so stupid. I hate him so much.

So now we act as if we never were together. Maybe it's better this way… I'm not really sure, but one thing I know is that I can never really hate James; it's just what I say to cover up the fact that I am still in love with him. I hope he never forgets about us.

A/N: Soooo... What you think? It's kind of lame, but oh wells...

I have finally made me a tumblr- goldisfleeting - And I feel like you should go and follow me:) I follow back!:)