Disclaimer: I don't own GA because if I did well…Mer would be a really good swimmer. And right now. In this moment. As much as I love Shonda I really hate her.
Rating: K+
Summary: What Derek was thinking in the hallway during the end of Drowning on Dry Land.
Thanks Sara for being up late and listening to my craziness. I less than three you.
I believe that if I eat a tub of butter and no one sees me the calories don't count.
GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA
I'm sitting in the hallway after the chief kicked me out and for one of the few times in my life I am crying. Burke asks me what I need. What I need is Meredith to be fine and be bossing me around but it seems I can't have that so I ask Burke to go in and help. I trust him to help my Meredith. At the moment the only thing I can think is that contrary to what I said earlier in the day I do want to marry Meredith. So what I need is for this to be a dream, I need to wake up and I need my Meredith to be ok so that I can marry her.
Mark comes and sits down beside me. Even after everything we've been though and what he and Addison did I welcome his presence. The situation is familiar. Mark was at the hospital with all me and my family when my father died. He sat with me in the hallway. He didn't have to say anything then and he doesn't have to say anything now. He's there for me; not trying to tell me it'll be ok because he doesn't know that. I just need him to be there.
The door opens as a nurse leaves and I look in, trying to see if there's any change. I see Addison and she looks upset as well and her eyes tell me it's not going well. But I'm glad Addison is there with Bailey and Burke and the chief. I glance down the hall to the left and see the interns behind the doors and for a moment I wonder how Cristina is doing because Meredith is her person or whatever and Cristina loves her probably as much as I do.
This is a bit ironic. Right after Addison came to Seattle I told Meredith that I felt like I was drowning and being with her is like coming up for air. No one is supposed to die. Meredith is not supposed to die. We're supposed to get married and have kids and find a cure for her mother and we're supposed to be happy. Meredith needs happy.
I've heard people say that they feel like the world is crumbling around them and I always wondered what that felt like. Now I'm pretty sure I know. It feels like everything you know is being ripped away. It feels like everything and nothing at the same time and I don't know what I'm supposed to do without her. I'm her knight in shining whatever. I'm supposed to save her and we live happily ever after.
Meredith is not supposed to die.
GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA
Read, love, review, build a time machine to get to next Thursday quicker.