«´¨·. ¸¸.¤ "I'm with you" ¤.¸¸.·´¨»
Disclaimer: I do not own any of Doctor Who and don't claim to, it belongs to the BBC
Introduction: One shot of how the Doctor feels at the end of 'The Age of Steel'. 10th Doctor x Rose.
He leaned silently against the deep sapphire TARDIS door and watched Rose with her mother. She sobbed silently as Jackie consoled her and stroked her hair lovingly. Jackie didn't know why her daughter was crying but he knew she could feel her unrestrained pain radiating from her. He could.
He couldn't even begin to imagine how she felt; Pete, even though it wasn't her Pete rejecting her and in a matter of seconds one of the only things in her life that provided her with stability stripped away from her. She clung onto her mother and he saw the maternal instinct in Jackie trying to make her pain dissolve into the void.
Slowly Rose emerged from her mother's embrace. Water trickled from her eyes like a broken faucet. He fought the instinct to go up to her and hold her while she cried. That's what he wanted to d, but he couldn't. He couldn't feel this way about her. He knew that she didn't. He was a Time Lord; the last time Lord. He couldn't fall in love with Rose. He scoffed. Too late. He already had fallen in love with her. Her unwavering bravery, brilliant life force which gave him a reason to wake up in the morning and carry on fighting – knowing that she would be beside him and keep him sane. Keep his heart sane.
He knew he shouldn't feel this way. That's why he had let Mickey embark the TARDIS. To try to distract Rose. To try and keep her from him, to show her that she needed Mickey, that there were better things for her to do than traipse around the ceaseless vortex of time and space with him, an alien. Obviously, that's not what he wanted, but that's what she needed - someone to grow old with, comfort her when she's down, be there for there, be able to start a family with her. If she ever found someone that loved her, a fraction of what the Doctor felt deep in every fibre of his body he knew she could be happy.
However, she wasn't happy with him. She eyed him suspiciously with her warm, chocolate eyes when he did. She wanted to know why he had done it. It was almost as if she wanted to … no, that couldn't be right. Rose could never feel for him, what she felt for her. He looked at her as she sobbed. He knew that she was sobbing for Mickey, but every time she laughed at one of his stupid jokes and she looked straight at him, into his soul, his heart soared. Every time it happened, he felt there was a fraction of a chance that maybe she could love him, for being him. The Doctor, Time Lord.
Rose sighed, "I'll be alright, mum. Honestly." The Doctor woke out of his trance.
"Sure? You know I'll always be here. You want some tea? Wanna talk about it, love?"
"I'll be fine. I, just, it was… I never wanna go back there again. I love you, mum. I would love to stay here with you. I just can't. I know I'm mean to do other things than hang around here at the Powell Estate." She kissed her mother on her cheek and mouthed 'I love you' and walked back into the TARDIS. The Doctor spun on his heel, his brown pin-stripped suit billowing behind him, "I'll take care of her, Jackie."
"You better." She said, barely audible thorough her sobs. "You better." He nodded silently acknowledging her and stepped into the comfort of his home.
She stood at the centre of the TARDIS; where he usually stood, his thinking point. He looked at her with concern. Her head was low, her body slumped. What was he meant to say? 'It'll be alright?' He knew she wouldn't be alright. This was one of the worst things about being human. Feeling like this, sorrow running through every vein in your body; watching someone you love feeling that sadness. It hurt him. He tried to meet her eyes.
She knew silently what he wanted to say, but she knew he couldn't say it. He couldn't find the words to console her, but she knew he wanted to. She knew that he would always be there. She knew that she had always felt happiest with him, laughing, joking. She knew he loved her and she loved him back with just as much gusto.
"I'll be alright…" she whispered as he mover and gently covered her cold hand which filled her with warmth and sent chills down her spine at the same time, "… I'm with you."
Author's Comment: 'Doctor Who' always pulls at my heart strings but I had this in my head for a while and wanted to write it. Please review, I'll love you forever. Heehee.