Santa Looked A Lot Like Matty
By Debwood-1999
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring...except for me, of course!
Sighing, Adam sat up in bed. It was 2am and he couldn't sleep. He wasn't used to strange beds, and even though the one in Matt's guest bedroom was big and cozy, he couldn't stop tossing and turning. The fact that it was also early Christmas morning didn't help matters much either. He and Jay were spending a few days with Matt and Chris. They'd invited them over, as well as Phil and Jeff, Mark and Evan, and Mor (Matt invited him last minute so he wouldn't be a Christmas orphan). Like the old story went, they were nestled all snug in their beds. Well, everyone except for Adam.
With a huff, Adam turned the covers aside and climbed out of bed, careful not to disturb Jay (like it really mattered, Jay could sleep through a hurricane). Maybe a glass of milk or some hot tea would help him get back to sleep. He knew where everything in the kitchen was, so that wasn't a problem. He clicked on the hallway light and crept slowly down the hall to the downstairs.
Halfway down the steps, Adam saw something that froze him dead in his tracks. His first instinct was to head for the nearest phone to call 911 and report an intruder, but as he studied the strange figure a little more closely. Hmmm...red suit, carrying a big bag...Holy Smoke! How'd he get in the house? Nobody's gonna believe this!
Adam dashed back up the stairs and back to the guest bedroom in quiet excitement. "Jay!" he gasped, shaking his boyfriend gently. "Jay! Wake up Jay! Jay!"
Groaning, Jay pried his eyes open, the visions of sugarplums dancing in his head disappearing. "Addy, it's..." he glanced over blearily at the clock on the night stand. "Almost 2:30 in the morning. You'd better have a good reason for getting me up this early."
"I think I saw Santa! He's downstairs!"
That woke Jay up in a hurry. "Santa? Downstairs?"
Adam pulled his boyfriend out of bed. "C'mon. I'll show you."
"How'd he get here? I didn't hear any sleigh bells or see Dancer, Prancer, or the one who's nose lights up on TV." Jay asked, shaking his head as he followed Adam out of the bedroom.
The two of them crept quietly down the hallway and crouched halfway down the stairs, safely hidden from view. Sure enough, a guy in a red suit was pulling packages out of a bag and placing them under the tree. But, upon closer view, Adam and Jay noticed several things that left them perplexed.
"I didn't know Santa shopped at Macy's," Adam whispered. "Or Dillard's, or Hot Topic, for that matter."
"Maybe he stopped over on the way here."
"The malls are all closed, Jay. There's no way he could stop over before coming over here."
"Maybe one of his elves did some last minute shopping," Jay remarked. A pause. "Hey, Addy?"
"Yeah, Jay?"
"Do you think Santa had gastric bypass?"
"Gastric bypass? What are you talking about?"
"I didn't think Santa was that skinny."
"Y'know, maybe he did. He's usually big and he's got a belly that wobbles like Jello when he laughs." Another pause. "Hey, Jay?"
"Yeah, Addy?"
"How do you think he got in the house? There's a fire in the fireplace, so he couldn't have come down the chimney."
"Someone must have let him in and—holy crap! I didn't think Santa played on the same team!"
"Shhhh! You wanna wake up everyone in the—no way! Is he..."
"Yeah."
"Hugging Chris?"
"Yeah. I can't belive Santa swings that way. That so doesn't reek of awesomeness."
"Yeah. Scarred for life. Wait'll Matty finds out that Chris was locked in a passionate embrace with Santa Claus."
"Don't tell him, Jay! You'll break his heart and ruin his Christmas."
"I'll just tell him we saw Santa and leave it at that."
Adam and Jay got up and headed back up the stairs to their room. "You think anyone'll believe us?"
"Are you kidding, Addy? It's freaking Santa Claus. Let's go back to bed. I'm tired."
Adam shook his head. "Didn't think Santa swung that way?"
"Matty, I think they saw us," Chris whispered as he placed the last package under the tree.
Matt, resplendent in a red suit and hat, stood up and stretched, and then helped his boyfriend to his feet. "I think they did. I know they're gonna come down the stairs like a couple of kids shouting that they saw Santa Claus last night."
"You wanna tell 'em tomorrow that it wasn't Santa?"
Matt pulled his boyfriend into an embrace. "Naahh. Let's have a little fun with them first. They probably won't figure it out until New Year's Eve." He chuckled and kissed the top of Chris's head. "Merry Christmas, Chrissy."
"Merry Christmas, Matty."
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I was going to make this Jay and Evan, but a certain Edge muse kept bugging me, and I had to relent. Actually, I think this one reads better.
This was inspired by "Santa Looked A Lot Like Daddy," by Brad Paisley or Garth Brooks.