Disclaimer: I do not own lotr. Duh.

Authors note: Yet another of my all-famed short first chapters. Although this is actually quite long for me! Just to let you know:

1. I don't hate Arwen, Morwen does.

2. Morwen is NOT a Mary-Sue. How do I know this? I hear you ask. Simple, because Mary-Sue's are by nature, perfect. And Morwen is anything but perfect. Perhaps it would seem that this fic presents Morwen as perfect, yes it probably does. And why? Because it's from Morwen's point of view.

3. Yes I KNOW that I'm making elves act like teenagers. But Tolkiens character's stay mostly in character, I've just made them less serious and more immature for the sake of humor (a most worthy cause I believe).

4. Can you say parody? Yes that's it PAH-ROH-DEE, good children!

5. The only pairing is Arwen/Aragorn.

6. The elvish names that I made up aren't real elvish, I figure it doesn't really matter given that it's a PARODY. I might go hunt out a copy of The Sil' and create real elvish names someday if I can be bothered. Or if I can ever find out if the list of elvish name particles I have is quenya or sindarin I'll use that (I think it's actually a combination of both, which means all my rp character's must have rather perculier geneaology or something...).

Sister of The Evenstar

Chapter One: The First Fault of Arwen Undomeil

Arwen the wise, Arwen the beautiful, Arwen the evenstar of her bloody people. Yes well I'm not one of her 'people' I'm her sister and I'll tell you what she's really like. She is not faultless, oh no, she had many faults and I will tell them all.

First of all she cheats at sports and games. There was this one time, before she went to Lothlorien to visit Grandma, that we were watching our brothers, Elladan and Elrohir, practice their archery. We were chucking out targets for them to shoot. But after a while I got bored of that and decided I wanted a go, not about to be outdone Arwen said she would to. I was surprised at this as Arwen does not like to lose and we both know that I'm a much better archer then she is. I should have sensed something suspicious but something evil possessed me and I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt "okay, let's go, I'll throw for you and you throw for me" Arwen nodded "Since I'm the oldest I'll go first" she's only, like, a hundred years older then me but she acts like it gives her the right to boss me around. And she loves to remind me of it to.

I agreed though, and she picked up a bow and quiver. I picked up one of the smooth clay discs and tossed it in the air. Her bow twanged and an arrow whistled through the air. The target shattered and fell to the earth as stardust. I sniffed "luck" and threw another. Twang, whistle and another splintered disc. The third, fourth and fifth discs flew and each were destroyed with perfect precision. A perfect score, she had put some work in since I had last seen her shoot. Well, that was no problem, I could get a perfect score easily and beat her in the second round.

I took the bow and quiver from the gleeful brat and took my place at the mark. I should have known something was up bu that smirk on her pale face but I was too focused on the task ahead. She threw the first disc out, frisbee style. I loosened my bow and the target shattered with a satisfying smash. Second, third and fourth went in much the same way. I was down to the last shot, I had only one bow left in my quiver and as I fitted it to my bow I glanced at Arwen. I expected to see a flicker of doubt, a crease of worry, but her face was impassive. She threw the disc hard, high into the air. As it spun back towards the earth it's path headed straight to my face, I jumped quickly to one side and managed to loosen my arrow at it before it hit the ground.

Of course Arwen immediately pretended it had been an accident and came rushing over being all "oh, Morwen I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" she so cannot act. I just glared at her and said "so when do you want to have round two?" she just shrugged in her overly-delicate way "tomorrow? Midday maybe" I nodded my head and turned and turned to walk away. But before I did I had a thought "how about one of our brothers throw for us. That way we can avoid any ...mishaps" I said that last word with the most sarcasm I could muster, but she didn't seem to notice it. She just nodded in agreement "I'll do it" said Elrohir "see you then" I said as I turned on heel and walked back inside.

Breakfast the next morning was somewhat tense. Arwen presented like everything was normal, but she knew I knew she was doing deliberately to annoy me. I kept giving her death stares until Dad asked "is something wrong Morwen?" I smiled at him sweetly "of course not father, I'm just thinking of the competition today" he raised his eyebrows "competition?"

"Between Arwen and I" Arwen laughed. An irritating tinkly noise.

"We are just going to practice our archery father. Morwen decided we should keep a record of points and see who had the best score"

"round one yesterday ended in a draw" I told him and just couldn't resist adding "even though Arwen cheated"

"it was an accident Morwen! I thought you knew this already"

"what happened?" Dad was slightly preoccupied keeping his over sized embroidered sleeve out of his cereal.

I told him the story of what Arwen had done. He was surprised and Arwen was indignant "I didn't do it deliberately so will you please stop going on about it. Thank you. By the way did you borrow my pendant?"

"which one"

"you know, my evenstar pendant. It's my favourite one"

"oh, no I haven't seen it" I lied trying to keep my face clear of guilt "damn" she swore "I can't have lost it"

"I should hope you haven't" dad began "that pendant-"

"contains the light of the evenstar, yes I know. It's probably in my bedroom somewhere" I made a mental note to sneak the pendant back into Arwens bedroom.

"Come on Elrohir, are we gonna get going or are you gonna plait your hair for another two hours?" I wanted to start quickly so I could beat Arwen and be finished with this whole thing "okay I'm coming" he said, coming down the steps tying the two little plaits in his brown hair neatly at the back. As we walked into the archery yard Arwen and Elrohir were chatting happily. I walked in silence, I had to stay focused on the task ahead. Arwen went first, as always, grabbing a bow and quiver she asked "eight discs?" I nodded and Elrohir counted out eight clay discs. She took her mark and knocked an arrow into place on her bow. What happened was an exact repeat of the previous day. Twang, whistle, smash, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. A perfect score, the best I could do was match it. It looked like it was going to be easy enough to do that, the first seven I got cleanly but just as Elrohir was preparing to throw the last disc, Arwen's friend Ellenthir turned up, flicking her hair and giggling as usual. And Elrohir had a total crush on her so of course he lost all concentration on what he was doing. The disc he was throwing for me fell barely a meter from his feet. I didn't have a chance to fire without fear of hitting him. Which meant I lost.

Arwen and Ellenthir are best friends. And Arwen know Elrohir had a crush on Ellenthir (who didn't? He's not most subtle guy around) . It was blindingly obvious that Arwen had planned this all.

So now you know. One of the (many) imperfections of Arwen Undomiel written in print and I'm glad it is. If I hadn't recorded that event then hundreds of innocent elves and mortals would continue to live under the severely mistaken belief that the evenstar is faultless forevermore and it isn't fair for them to mislead so badly, everyone deserves to know the truth. So the truth is what I tell.

Authors Note: Yikes, I didn't realise Morwen came across so nasty till I read it over, in her defence I must say that I know what it is like to be living in the shadow of an elder sister who has always achieved whatever it was you've achieved several years prior to you achieving it. If that makes any sense at all. Which it probably doesn't. Now ignore my rambling and go review!