Title: The Little People
Author: Roony
Rating: K
Genre: Humor
Summary: The Winchesters hunt a…'smaller' kind of monster. Dean doesn't take them seriously…until they steal his most precious item in the world. Written for PL Wynter's 'Stupid Monster' Challenge.
A/N: not much to add, just a reminder for future reference: The ghost hunters in HellHouse? Remember them? Well they're names are Harry and Ed. All will be explained soon enough.
The Little People
Dean stared at his brother for a minute. He must have heard wrong. "Leprechauns."
Sam stared right back at him. He knew how it sounded, but it was true. He'd done the research, checked it, and checked it again to make sure. You definitely want to be sure before you tell your brother that you'rehunting something like this."Yup."
Dean still refused to believe his own ears. "Leprechauns," he repeated.
"That's what I said," Sam replied. Normally he would've been irritated at Dean's skepticism, but it was allowable in this case. He barely believed it himself.
"As in 'Lucky Charms'?"
"Well, according to this, they're not that cute or generous, but yeah," Sam confirmed, gesturing to the laptop.
There was a pause as Dean looked very concernedly at his little brother. "Okay," he said slowly, "And how did you come to this conclusion?"
Sam scowled at him, now annoyed. "I know how it sounds, but it fits. There's been mischief, stuff being stolen, and the townspeople say that they've found footprints the size of a pencil eraser."
"And there's been a huge leap in the number of rainbows with pots of gold at the end in the area?" Dean finished with a smirk.
"There's also a big Irish population," Sam continued, ignoring his brother, "Immigrants might've brought them over."
"Any vandalized Notre Dame posters?" Dean ventured, grinning.
Sam raised an eyebrow at him. "Why wouldn't they like Notre Dame? I'd think they'd be flattered."
Dean shook his head. "No, because Notre Dame sucks. They'd hate to be associated with it."
"They don't suck," Sam defended.
Dean snorted. "Right, like I'm gonna take your word for it," he said dismissively as he rolled his eyes.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked indignantly.
"I mean I'm not gonna take the word from a guy who's college in a maple leaf," Dean justified.
"It's not a maple leaf," Sam replied half-heartedly.
"Then what is it?" Dean asked with a raised eyebrow.
"A Christmas tree," Sam admitted.
"Oh, my mistake," Dean amended, going on to mock Stanford' mascot. "'Ooo… the Stanford Christmas trees! Don't wanna mess with those guys.'"
"Whatever," Sam said, going back to the laptop.
"So, how do we get rid of them?" Dean asked interestedly.
"Um, I think we just have to make a ring around the town with the right herbs and flowers. Morning Glories would work the best because-"
"They're magically delicious?"
Sam couldn't hold back the grin. "Okay, you're right," he admitted, "It's stupid."
"Worse than stupid," Dean said as he sat down, "It's pointless. Now I say we go back to the original and way better plan of ditching this dinky little town and heading over to Las Vegas. Think of how awesome it would be to play some poker with your Haley Joel stuff. Be like the Rain Man or somethin'."
"Which one of us is Tom Cruise and which one is the autistic Dustin Hoffman?" Sam asked jokingly.
"I think you know," Dean replied seriously, giving him a pointed look.
"I look more like Tom Cruise," Sam replied with a smile.
"Yeah, but Tom Cruise was never an annoying Geekboy like you," Dean shot back.
"Jerk."
"Bitch."
"Right, so, anyway, we have to rid the town of leprechauns," Sam said, changing the subject.
Dean shook his head. "Yeah.The Winchesters:demon exorcists, ghost hunters, monster killers, but most importantly: leprechaun exterminators."
Sam managed to convince Dean that perhaps the leprechauns were at least worth the time to put some stupid flowers around the town's property limits. Dean of course dragged his feet the whole way to the florists, truly embarrassed by having to buy Morning Glories.
"You could wait in the car," Sam started to say once they'd parked.
But strangely enough, Dean had already hopped out of the car. Sam had to pause a minute and wonder why his older brother, Dean 'Manly-Man' Winchester, was suddenly so excited to go into a flower shoppe after whining about it for the past two miles.
But upon entering, Sam knew all. Dean had undoubtedly caught sight of the attractive young woman behind the counter, whom he was charmingly chatting with at that very moment. But, Sam didn't interrupt. He just shook his head and let Dean talk-which is what he'd do regardless of whether Sam 'let' him do it or not-and looked around for Morning Glories amongst the jungle of potted plants.
"Oh, and that's my brother," Dean said, gesturing over to Sam-whom Dean noticed was shaking his head in that 'I'll just let you flirt with the chick because there's no way in hell I'm going to stop you' way (he was totally correct too). Dean hadn't decided to introduce Sammy just to show that they were brothers (though it was good to let a lady know that good genes ran in the family) but to explain his presence in the shop. "Yeah. Getting some flowers for his beau."
The cute blonde behind the counter started to nod agreeably, her face saying 'Aw, isn't that sweet?', until she caught on to what the proper translation for 'beau'. "Beau?" she repeated, to be sure.
"Yeah. You know, it's really cute. Buying flowers, holding hands. I wish I could just find a girl to be with the way Sammy and Harry are together," Dean said wistfully, trying very hard not to laugh, imagining what Sam's reaction would be if he was actually listening to the conversation instead of looking for the stupid flowers. Sam had dragged him to a flower shop, and therefore Dean owed payback. Of course, if Sam had never dragged him here, he never would have found this cute blonde. But a man needed to keep to his principles.
"Harry…" the girl repeated rather warily, eyeing Sam who seemed fixated on the specific area of flowers.
To save his brother a little embarrassment, Dean quickly changed subjects and went back to the flirting. "So what do you do for fun around here?"
The blonde turned back to him, suddenly enthusiastic. "Oh, all kinds of stuff!"
"Yeah, like what?" Dean asked, only half-interested. According to him, there was really only one universally fun activity.
The blonde grinned and answered with seething excitement: "Making doll clothes!"
Dean blinked, faltering. "What?"
"Yeah!" the girl beamed, "I love it! I sew them little outfits."
Well this was a let down. "Really…" Dean forced a politely interested smile.
The chick nodded and ducked behind the counter for a minute. Oh no… Dean thought with dread as he knew what was coming next. Sure enough, the chick popped back up with about five small stuffed animals in simply adorable outfits, undoubtedly made by her.
"This is Mr. Fuzzums," the blonde said, referring to a floppy rabbit dressed in miniature blue overalls. Dean looked around, trying to relocate Sam, hoping for an escape. "And this is Miss Nesbit," she continued, holding up a little cat in a tiny pink gingham dress. "Look at the shoes I made for her! Aren't they cute?"
Left with no other option, Dean went for desperate. "What's that Sam? You need help picking out what kind? Okay, I'm coming!" Dean feigned pathetically, getting away from that counter faster than he had most monsters.
Sam hardly looked up when Dean stood next to him and pretended to be actually looking for the Morning Glories. "What's wrong? She seemed nice," Sam said coolly, hiding a smirk.
"Shut up," Dean growled in a hushed voice.
"You guys should go out," Sam went on casually, his voice hushed too. "Tell you what, to make it more comfortable, it could be a double date between you two, Mr. Fuzzums, and Miss Nesbit."
"What's got your panties in a twist?" Dean snapped, "Can't pick just the right pansies to banish the scary midgets?"
"You paired me up with Harry?" Sam asked calmly.
"You dragged me to a flower shop where I met a psycho chick and all her little friends," Dean defended with justification in his voice.
"And I caught you checking out Ed, back at the Hell House," Sam teased.
With no real cool come back to that, Dean simply replied: "Bitch."
"Mr. Fuzzum's stepdad," Sam replied confidently.
Sam, realizing how expensive and time consuming it would be to buy enough Morning Glories to put around the town's property limits,decided to just sprinkle seed around the property line instead. But he insisted that Dean be the one to pay for it.
"No," Dean said flatly.
"I found it, you buy it," Sam insisted, holding out the small package to him.
"No, Sam," Dean said firmly.
"Dean, come on. It's just seed," Sam said, tossing it to him. On instinct, Dean caught the bag, and glared at Sam for tricking him. Sam shrugged. "Just buy the seed, maybe think about being nice to her, and leave."
Dean scowled, but headed to the counter anyway. "If you say so, Dr. Phil," Dean said begrudgingly.
Sam gave him an encouraging, then headed for the door.
Dean went up to the counter to find the blonde pouting. Fortunately, she had put all of her 'friends' away. Dean awkwardly put the seeds on the counter. She snatched them and rang them up.
Yeah, Sam. This was really one of your more brilliant ideas.
"Um…" Dean tried as he paid. The look on the blonde's face stopped him for a minute, but he tried to keep pretending to be the good guy. "Um, maybe I'll come look at your, uh, stuff later…"
The blonde didn't respond; she only slapped the receipt on the counter and walked away.
"Yeah. That went well," Dean said in sarcastic decisiveness as he left.
"Hey, Dean…" Sam's voice came from the door, sounding weary, urgent, and amused.
"I'm coming," Dean said dismissively, not really wanting to talk to Sam at the moment.
"Dean, those things are here…" Sam said, less amused and more urgent.
"What things?" Dean asked blankly, still trying to shake off the awkward feeling.
"Those small things, the ones we we're gonna take care of," Sam said, trying to communicate effectively with subtle code while the blonde was still in ear shot.
Fortunately, Dean got the message. Oh goodie, he thought cynically, A real challenge: Leprechauns.
"Where?" he asked, barely stepping up his pace.
"In your car."
The three words entered Dean's ear and were processed in about five seconds. Dean suddenly broke out into an all-out run, went past Sam, jumped down the steps, and landed in the parking lot just in time to see one of the most horrible, twisted, heart-wrenching sights of his life. The shining, beautiful, black exterior of his original 1967 Chevy Impala with a motor that purred like a kitten and a smooth, clean leather interior, driving off down the road at about 50 miles per hour, being driven by leprechauns.
So what do you think? Want me to continue with this or keep it a oneshot?
much luv...Roony