Title: Christmas Reflections
Summary: Some A/U Christmas angst set against the appropriately haunting I wonder as I wander by John Jacob Niles. Takes place after the events of NBK and Furt. Kurt H., D. Karofsky. Rated T for mild coarse language.
A/N: I've watched the recent Kurt / Karofsky episodes with a great deal of interest. To be honest, I've almost come to view the rest of Glee as a backdrop against which this arc unfolds. RM has a chance to make something spectacular and inspiring (however improbable) out of this pairing. In the meantime, I may have some more musings of my own until the Glee hiatus is over.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
oOo
The school was dark and silent, students and teachers alike long gone. Gone home, gone to their outside lives, gone from this place. The bustle and noise of the day a nearly forgotten memory, William McKinley High School drowsed uneasily in the cold December evening.
A shadowy figure stole quickly through the gloomy hallways hoping desperately that no one else would be in the school at that hour. Moving briskly past the auditorium toward the locker bays, the figure stopped, suprised. A faint glow emanated from the auditorium.
Peering in, he saw two dim spotlights trained on the grand piano stationed at a corner of the stage. The red and green gels on the lights cast the stage into an eerie holiday tableau; the rest of the auditorium was drenched in shadow. The figure in the hallway debated a moment before moving stealthily into the auditorium. Was there someone sitting at the piano? Who in the hell would be here at this time of night?
Before he could react, notes began to sound softly, tentatively. Gathering confidence, the figure seated at the piano continued and a haunting melody rang out, filling the auditorium. Soon, a low, clear voice joined the piano.
"I wonder as I wander out under the sky"
Lost. So lost. Somewhere he'd lost his path, his joy, himself. How had he come to let his fear rule him so? He prayed to a God he didn't precisely believe in. Help me to find my way, my courage, myself again.
"How Jesus the Savior did come for to die"
A savior? What a joke. Why couldn't someone save HIM? From the hate, the fear, the anger. Maybe even from himself. They didn't, couldn't understand. But maybe he could find someone who would. I know you're out there, maybe closer than I realize.
"For poor on'ry people like you and I"
A sniffle. Then another. The voice cracked and nearly broke. We aren't so different are we? We want the same things. Why can't you see that? Why can't I MAKE you see that?
"I wonder as I wander out under the sky"
Alone. Lonely. Lost. Why do you torture me like this? Why am I so broken? He prayed again. Help me to find my way again. Help me to stand and be true to myself.
oOo
Kurt slowly resumed his walk down the hallway, lost in contemplation. Maybe he wouldn't need to clean out his locker after all, he thought, his eyes bright with unshed tears.
In the auditorium, the Fury reached out and, trembling, gently closed the lid of the piano, resting there for a moment as a teardrop splashed onto the dusty stage.
I wonder as I wanderby John Jacob Niles.