Hey people. This is my first fanfic so don't expect a masterpiece…I have no idea where the story is going, I just randomly felt like writing something. I'm going to try to have this be in least 5 pages in the word document, because if I told myself to write for 30 minutes I'd probably try to stall as much as possible…ok I'll shut up now. (Insert disclaimer I'm too lazy to write here)

Akuma walked up to her very boring, completely beige school, expecting a very boring, beige-filled day. She looked around at the various idiots walking past her in the hall on the way to homeroom. They were all doing very boring things, dressed in completely beige. It was Boring School's dress code to wear only beige. Yes, it is actually called boring school. Why, you ask? BECAUSE I'M THE DAMN AUTHOR AND WHAT I SAY GOES! If you want to name the school something else, you can post a story identical to mine except replace boring school with something else, if you really hate the school name. So anyway, she arrived at her boring beige homeroom, and sat at a boring beige desk. Her boring, beige-wearing homeroom teacher walked up to her and asked "Why aren't you wearing beige?"

"I never wear beige, beige is for crusty old people." Akuma said. She has never worn beige, but the teachers are all old people and she usually sat in the back too far away for any of them to notice. Today for some reason she decided to sit in the front, mostly because I wanted her to get in trouble. "Go to the principals office, now." The old teacher said. Her old person smell was so bad, Akuma was glad to get out of there. A few minutes and about 100 beige lockers later, she got to the principal office. The principal was that guy from Imagination Movers who's name I can't remember. The boring guy that has a completely beige office. I think his name might have been or Nitnog or something like that.

The boring principal gasped at the non-beigeness of Akuma's clothes. He was going to give her inside suspension (Which is when you have to come to school and sit in a boring room and do boring work and you can't even sleep or draw or anything you can do during normal school) but after he said that she's getting inside suspension for 2 weeks she turned and made a mad dash for her boring beige locker to get her stuff and run far away. The boring principal dude was going to chase her, but realized that isn't boring so he went back to coloring in his pre-colored coloring books with his signature beige boring crayons.

Akuma opened her locker, and was about to grab all her non-school supply stuff, when she noticed something on her locker shelf. It was a basket of fruit. (Heh heh) and a manga. It was titled Fruits Basket: Volume 0. (By the way, Akuma doesn't know of Fruits Basket's existence) On the cover, was a drawing that looked a lot like her. She scanned through the book. It was completely blank, except for one sentence on the first page: "Your story is about to begin" it said. (I know, cheesy, but I couldn't think of something non-cheesy for it to say)

Suddenly she…umm I don't know fainted or something.

-Furuba World-

Hatori was taking a long walk outside thinking about deep depressing stuff because he's an emo seahorse. Suddenly, he saw some red-haired girl passed out on the ground. Since he's a doctor and all, he couldn't just leave her there. He took her to his doctor office, but since she isn't a zodiac animal, she got dragged there. Haha Akuma! (I feel kind of ashamed, I had to scroll up to check what her name was before typing it -_-)

When he got to the office, he checked for any head bumps or anything like that. He put her in one of those hospital style beds, and went off to "work" aka look at porn. What, you thought he would sit there and watch her sleep? He's not a creepy stalker like Edward Cullen (I hope I never have to type anything related to that horrible book again…and if you like Twilight good for you, feel free to leave a bad review if it *really* offends you that I hate Twilight, it'll give me something to laugh at ^_^)

A few hours later, Akuma went up, and the cliché "where am I?" scene started. Hatori explained where she was and blah blah blah. She said she has no idea where her house is and if she could stay here. "Sure why not, a lot of people get bored and write fanfiction about random nutjobs who end up here and for some reason are allowed to stay, so what harm will one more do?" Hatori said.

"…Huh?" Asked Akuma, who has no idea that she isn't real. "Nothing, I'll show you to your place." Hatoi said. I bet you thought she would live at Shigures house, huh? You're wrong, so just sit there in all of your wrongness and be wrong. How does it feel to be wrong? What's that? You want me to shut up and continue with the story? Ok, fine I will.

Akuma went inside her mini house. It had a kitchen/living room, a bathroom, and a bedroom. I'm too lazy to go into any more detail than that, so use your imagination, you know, like they taught you on those little kids shows?

Hatori walked away because he didn't really serve a purpose in this part of the plot (Wait, this story has a plot?) and Akuma just sort of stood there because the author couldn't think of anything to force her to do.

5 minutes later, the author thought of something to help fill up the 5 pages she's forcing herself to type today. Momiji suddenly appeared in the doorway to introduce himself. He dragged Haru with him, since they always seem to be near each other. He smiled his overly happy bunny smile. "Hey, Hatori told us there was someone new a few minutes ago, so me and Haru wanted to introduce ourselves!" (Actually, Momiji demanded Hatori to tell him if anything new happened because he was bored, and he got overly enthusiastic and wanted to go introduce himself right away, and Haru followed because he had nothing better to do)

"Oh, ok, well I'm Akuma, nice to meet you" (Is it necessary to say who typed this?) Then they just sorta stood there awkwardly for a minute. "So…do you want to go get some candy?" Momiji, obviously, asked. "Sure." Akuma said. She reached in her pocket and to her surprise had 50,000 yen in there…come on, Momiji's practically a kid, and I doubt Haru would have any money with him either, so I had to make SOMEONE have money.

The three of them walked to the candy store. Well, actually, not really. Haru had no idea where he was, and neither did Akuma, she's always had a crappy sense of direction, so even if she did sort of know her way around she'd get lost anyway, and Momiji expected either Haru or Akuma to know where the hell they were going. He for some reason thought of them as older and wiser because they were both taller than him, when really all three of them were just a few 15 year old hooligans.

They have been walking for 20 minutes now, and Momiji started to realize that they were not anywhere near a candy store. They looked around, and found they somehow ended up in the middle of nowhere, except with no Courage the Cowardly Dog. They looked around, and all they could see is an endless expanse of sand. They stood there for a few minutes when suddenly the saw a cow run towards them. They decided to get on it's back and get out of this random desert.

They thought they were going back to town, but I'm not done typing pointless stuff to fill up 5 pages yet, so they'll have to be tortured for another page or two so I can use the last page to end the day in the story.

The cow abruptly stopped, and they were in the middle of some cow heard. The trio (Because I overused the word "they" so I figure I should use other stuff) got off of the cow. The cow turned to Haru. "Join us." It mooed "We're all female and getting kind of old, so we need to have babies so the herd doesn't die out, and you're the only bull we've managed to find, by the way, don't bother running, we all know kung-fu." The creepy old kung-fu cow mooed. But only Haru knew what she was saying, to the other two it just sounded like a series of moos.

"Sure, but all of you need to go in the shed, so those two don't have to watch, and that way I can fuck all of you faster." Haru mooed back. A shed magically appeared out of thin air, and all the cows got in the shed. Haru slowly walked to the shed, but stopped when he was just outside it, slammed the shed closed, locked it, and put a bunch of big heavy rocks in front of the door. "Run, I'll explain what happened after we get away." Haru said. The door would probably hold for an hour or so, but since they know kung-fu, they could possibly kick down the door in one try.

After they were about a mile or 2 away, he explained the whole thing, and they suddenly walked into a McDonalds. Haru thought McDonalds is evil, Momiji thinks Ronald McDonald is creepy, and Akuma just plain thinks the food tastes like crap, so they started to walk out, but suddenly the Ronald McDonald statue that sits on one of the benches came to life and blocked their way. Akuma kicked him in the nuts and he fell to the ground in pain. They stepped over him and left the evil creepy disgusting place.

They walked aimlessly hoping they would get back to town. But the question here is will I let them? I suppose they've suffered enough…for now that is. The three of them walked into town. Only problem is they still didn't know where the candy store was. Some shady guy walked out of an alley. "Yo kids, want some candy? I have some in that van over there." He pointed to a suspicious looking white van that had no windows in the back. Akuma punched him in the face. Hard. He fell to the floor, blood oozing out of his nose. The teenagers walked away without a word.

Suddenly they saw a promising sight on the horizon. At last they found a candy store. But it was 10 pm by the time they found it, and it was closed, so they broke in and stole it instead. Well Akuma and Haru did, Momiji stood there nervous, but the other two were so pissed that they went through all that just to arrive at a closed store. It was a quiet street, and the store was small with no surveillance cameras, and the owner was stupid enough to leave the door unlocked, so they slipped in and took some candy. Haru stole a little bit of everything, and Akuma took some dark chocolate and buttered popcorn jelly beans. The store owner probably wouldn't even notice the robbery. They left no fingerprints or hairs, and the only witness was Momiji, who is too scared of Haru's black side and Akuma, who seems to have some anger issues of her own, to tell anyone about this crime.

After the candy theft was over, they walked home…or, well wandered around until they found the Sohma estate an hour later. They all split up and went to their mini houses. Akuma walked into her house and found a couple school uniforms and a note from Hatori.

Akuma,

I enrolled you into the local high school, I came to deliver your uniforms, but you were still out with Haru and Momiji when I came. Be up by 6 tomorrow, I have left Haru and Momiji notes telling them to visit you at 7 to show you the way to school. I checked your schedules, it seems you guys conveniently have the same classes. I left you a copy of your schedule.

-Hatori

Akuma Sohma

Class Schedule

1st- Math, 214, 8-9

2nd- History, 325, 9-10

3rd- Biology, 101, 10-114th- English, 526, 11-12

5th- Spanish, 934, 12-1

6th- Lunch, Lunchroom, 1-1:30

7th- Gym, 105, 1:30-2:30

Here are Akuma's thoughts: What the fuck I just got here and I already have school tomorrow? Damn this schedule sucks. That's a lot of stair climbing, and what the hell kinda school has 9 floors anyway? A sadistic one, that's what.

Then she looked over at her uniforms, and her irritation increased. The shirt wasn't so bad, she could tolerate wearing it, but the skirt looked about 2 inches long, plus she never wears skirts.

She walked around the estate until she found a Sohma 24-hour mall (Since it's about midnight at this point) and buys some outfits that don't involve two inch long skirts. Later when she got back, she ripped up the uniform and burned it. She put her new clothes in the dresser, and decided she should go to bed soon since it's 1 am and she has to wake up in 5 hours.

She dreamed of Haru being forced to have sex with three hundred cows. Then for some reason the cows turned into blocks of cheese, then her dream moved to her yelling at the author for trying to make up random crap just to fill up the last page. Fine, fine, I'll stop making up stupid dreams, happy? Great, now what am I supposed to do to fill up this last half a page…hmm, I guess I'll just do an author note or something.

Whoever is insane enough to actually finish this chapter, you're awesome. 5 pages took a lot longer to write than I thought. Believe it or not, this piece of chicken shit took 4 hours to type. Well, thanks for reading…hmm, I still have space to fill up, so I'll tell you something. If anyone is still reading, I'm going to make a section down here where I answer random questions you ask. It doesn't have to have anything to do with the…er…story. (I use that term loosely) it could be about kumquats if you really care about kumquats enough to ask me about them…but that would be kinda stupid, because I don't even really know what the fuck they are. So anyway, ask some random questions in your review. (If anyone bothers to read this that is) If noone reviews…well I guess I'll have to throw bricks at random people, and hope that the random people are people that read but didn't review…damn this page STILL isn't filled up. I guess I'll ask my self some questions then.

Q- Who the hell are you?

A- I'm the torturer of fictional characters, who the hell are YOU?

Q-This is Akuma. You're a stupid sadistic bitch who has no life and writes horrible stories.

A- Thanks. I love you too! :)

Q-Why are you asking yourself questions?

A- To fill up the page, as I've said before…don't you read? Does this mean I don't even read what I write? Probably.

Q-How long are you going to talk to yourself anyway?

A- Until I get to the bottom of this last page, which should be about now.

Well that's all for now! I'll be sure to torture you all again soon!

Love,

Hyoukai-chan