Acceptance
Nobody trusts him when he first entered Cao Cao's army, but Jia Xu doesn't care. He does his job and that is enough for him. Of course, he probably wouldn't expect the drunk playboy Guo Jia to show him that there are much more in the world to be happy about rather than decimating enemy numbers. Guo Jia x Jia Xu. Yaoi, don't like don't read. Oneshot.
"So, you shall watch over him, Guo Jia." said the Prime Minister of Han, Cao Cao.
"Oh? You mean Jia Xu?" replied the blond strategist.
"Yes, that's correct."
"Hmm…but why me? I mean, I'm sure you could pick someone else. I have better things to do, after all."
"And by better you mean getting drunk and flirting with more girls." replied Cao Cao with a sour smile.
"Hehehe." Guo Jia scratched his head in embarrassment.
"Listen, I pick you for this because you seem to be the only one who can see through him. Nobody else is able to exactly guess what he's attempting to do, and that's a bad thing since he's our former enemy."
"Hah, you overestimated me."
"Not so."
"Heh…"
Guo Jia immediately recalled that fateful night. Cao Cao was ambushed at Wan Castle by the army of Zhang Xiu, costing the lives of his eldest son Cao Ang, nephew Cao Anmin, and most of all, his most trusted bodyguard Dian Wei. When he, along with his remaining followers, which included Guo Jia, reached the mastermind of the attack, Jia Xu, he showed a surprising act of mercy and thus acquired the service of him and Zhang Xiu. Despite, or rather because of that, everyone in Wei distrusts him, even including Cao Cao himself. Jia Xu himself doesn't seem to mind that, given that he tends to be alone and withdraws himself from the others, which surely only serves to raise the others' suspicions even more.
That is not the case with Guo Jia, though. From the very first time he saw Jia Xu, he had somehow felt a unique charm emanating from the former enemy. From the sleek, graceful way he moves, to the somewhat meaningful stare his eyes give off, and of course, his cunning. Despite his mannerisms seeming a little…odd, for most people, deep down Jia Xu is clearly not a man to be taken lightly. His plans have caused near-death for Cao Cao more than once, and who knows what would have happened if he actually succeeded? Guo Jia understands this fully and thus takes his steps carefully. Jia Xu, in his eyes, is like a graceful viper: beautiful, but deadly.
He had tried to get close to him, but he couldn't because Jia Xu withdraws himself from the others all the time. Now that Cao Cao had appointed him as Jia Xu's supervisor, he took this as a chance to get close to him.
"….Guo Jia? Hey, you're spacing out." suddenly said Cao Cao, ending Guo JIa's imagination.
"Eh?! Umm…my bad, sir." Guo Jia scratched his head in embarrassment.
"Sigh…listen, Guo Jia. You have to be careful in handling him.
"Understood."
Tomorrow morning, Guo Jia walked down the streets, either looking for a drink or finding a pretty lady he could hit on. He then saw Jia Xu walking down as well.
"Oh! That's him! Now's my chance!" he thought. He immediately ran to hit the other man in the back, surprising him.
"Hey!"
"WAH!" Jia Xu was so surprised that he raised his arms to the air so hard it hit Guo Jia full in the face, knocking him back.
"YEOW!"
Jia Xu turned back to see who could have possibly disturbed him in the morning.
"Ouch…come on, no need to be so surprised!" Guo Jia scratched his head while trying to stand up.
"Huh? Master Guo Jia? What business do you have with me?" was the reply.
"Sigh…well, yesterday Lord Cao Cao told me to watch over you."
"Watch over me? Tch, I knew it. Of course they would pick someone to check whatever my activities are in the moment…" murmured Jia Xu.
"Hm? What was it that you said?"
"Ah, nevermind. You know what, I'm sorry for hitting you back then. It's just that it's so unusual for someone to just walk up to me and then hit me on the back like that…"
"Oh? Heheh, sorry about that. Besides, I thought I might as well, you know, say hello."
"Hmph. Well then, excuse me." JIa Xu immediately walked away. Guo Jia was surprised, confused, and slightly hurt at how Jia Xu just suddenly ended their first conversation right away. But he won't give up. No. Guo Jia knows that this isn't going to end that quickly. So he decided to follow Jia Xu around.
He continued to follow Jia Xu down the street, and soon enough, the latter stopped to turn around.
"Okay, Master Guo Jia, now you REALLY tick me off."
"Oh? Really?"
"Okay, I know that you're supposed to watch me so that I won't plot anything behind Lord Cao Cao's back, but trust me, I won't murder somebody in broad daylight."
"Eh?! ….umm, okay…I'm sorry if I annoy you."
"Okay, okay. Now could you just please leave me alone if you don't have any important business with me?" Jia Xu immediately left, leaving Guo Jia dumbfounded.
"Huff…gee, never thought it will be this hard." Guo Jia thought. But as said before, he won't give up until he gets close to Jia Xu. So he decided to try again later.
During the afternoon, Guo Jia once again found Jia Xu working inside the palace, carrying around the bamboo scrolls.
"Alright…I'll do this again!" he thought. This time, he tried to carefully approach Jia Xu as not to suddenly surprise him and knock Guo Jia out again like the last time.
"Hey." he lightly tapped Jia Xu's shoulder. He was slightly surprised, and he turned around to again, give Guo Jia that cold stare. The other man just smiled back.
"….you again."
"What? Is it not fine to say hello?"
"…hmph. Well, it's not that, but I just find it weird that you showed up here and decided to say hello to someone like me, instead of getting drunk, like you usually do."
"Eh….umm, okay…" Guo Jia, again, was slightly hurt by such a cold and blunt reply, but he tried to keep his smile, which had turned into a more awkward, goofy smile instead.
"Now, don't you have any important business to attend to?"
"Umm…no?"
"Well, then excuse me, I have some important business to attend to." again Jia Xu walked away and killed their conversation. He went to the shelves, looking for something.
"Now, where did I put that one…." as Jia Xu was searching upon the shelves, Guo Jia immediately had an idea. He walked towards Jia Xu and put his hand over the other man's.
"You want me to help you look for that?"
"W-what?!" Jia Xu was, understandably, surprised upon seeing Guo Jia's invasive (at least to Jia Xu's standards, anyway) action. He immediately drew his hand back.
"So….is this the one you were looking for?" Guo Jia picked a scroll and handed it over to Jia Xu, whose eyes widened upon seeing that yes, it is the scroll he was looking for.
"Wha….how…how could you know?"
"Well, yesterday I saw you reading this, but then you put it on the wrong shelf. Then I put it on the right one. So when I saw you looking for something, I just, you know, sorta guessed."
"Uhh…yeah..." Jia Xu immediately turned around to hide a slight blush on his face from Guo Jia. He never had any real attraction towards the younger man, though who wouldn't be flustered to receive that kind of treatment from such a fine young man like Guo Jia?
Though when Jia Xu pondered upon this, he quickly tried to cast it off. He never had any real attraction towards anyone before, and given that he likes to withdraw himself from the others and is only a new recruit, having this kind of feeling towards his senior would definitely be weird. Then again, he IS weird in the eyes of his colleagues, so who knows if he could actually get away with it? But no, he simply won't allow that. That is wrong and while he's done pretty terrible things before, he's certainly no Dong Zhuo who had a creepy fixation towards a girl half his age. And yet, there's just something about Guo Jia that he couldn't resist…is it his angelic face? His bewitching blue eyes? Or that slightly annoying smirk he puts on the entire time? Jia Xu can't be sure, and he's actually glad of it.
"Hm? Hey, Jia Xu? You alright?" said Guo Jia, ending Jia Xu's pondering.
"Eh?! Umm…yeah, I'm sorry." Jia Xu immediately walked back to prevent any more awkwardness ensue. However, he stopped mid-way to slightly turn his face around.
"Eh, I forgot….thank you about that."
"Eh?! Umm…okay! You're welcome!"
And then Jia Xu put on a little smile towards Guo Jia, who was slightly surprised to see such smile coming from him. That is certainly not the smile he usually puts on while devising strategies to decimate enemy numbers, nor is it the slightly suspicious smirk he puts on whenever he has a shady scheme in mind. No, rather it was a genuine, grateful smile. It even made Guo Jia slightly blush.
"Well then, excuse me." said Jia Xu while leaving, which ended Guo Jia's pondering. Just before he left, though…
"Huh?! H-hey, wait!"
"Huh?"
"Umm…hey…maybe if you want, we could go out and get a drink, sometime?"
"A drink? Uhh…I'm sorry, but I don't like drinking-"
"Oh, you don't HAVE to drink. Just having a small talk, no?"
"Hmmm…" Now, this is DEFINITELY unusual for Jia Xu. Someone asking him out for a drink? Even moreso, that someone being Guo Jia? Confusion and suspicion mixed into one stir inside his heart. What is his motive? Is this a ploy by Lord Cao Cao to know what exactly Jia Xu's motives are? He can't be really sure. And yet, somehow he came to accept Guo Jia's invitation.
"…yes, I suppose."
"Oh, really? That's great! We'll meet this evening, okay?"
"Ehh…okay."
"Great! I'll see you soon!" Guo Jia then left. He tried to look rational on the outside, but he's skipping happily inside. This is it. THIS is the moment he's been waiting for. He knew it. Meanwhile, Jia Xu was still thinking about why someone like Guo Jia would want to have a talk with him? Jia Xu isn't a fun person to be around with, since most of the time he'll only insult whoever is around at the moment. But he just decided to wait what Guo Jia's got in store.
When the evening came, Jia Xu came across a nearby tavern, where he found that Guo Jia had already sat there.
"Oh, there you are! Come!" Waving his hands, he called upon Jia Xu.
"Oh! You're already here."
"Haha, of course I am!"
"Heh, right…"
"So! Say, how long has it been for you working here?"
"Hmm…about a week?"
"Ah, correct. Now, you haven't really told me anything about you yet." Guo Jia leaned a bit closer to look Jia Xu in the eyes.
"Eh? Err…what more could I tell you about me?"
"Hm? Well…I don't know, maybe about things you like?"
"Things I like? Well-"
"Besides strategizing."
"Eh….I….don't really know."
"What?! How could you not know what you like?!"
"Well, uhh….I myself don't know. It's hard to explain."
"Hmph…okay, let's start with things you dislike, then."
"Dislike? Hmm…well, I dislike a lot of things. Doing too much work, being pushed around, eggplants…"
"Oh, is that so?"
"Yeah. But most of all, I hate hypocrites."
"Hypocrites?" Guo Jia was slightly shocked by the answer.
"Yeah….you know, those type of people who shout around fighting in the name of honor, justice, freedom, and a whole other stuffs, but in reality are really making other people's lives suffer?"
"Er…yeah…"
"Exactly. I mean, I know that in chaotic times like these, being completely good and naïve about the situation is a good way of getting you killed, yes, but at least don't pretend like you actually are. If you want to make other people's lives suffer, don't cover it under such pretenses. It's sickening."
"Umm…yeah…"
"But then again, if you openly admit about being horrible, it is also a good way of getting you killed. I had been in those kinds of situation more than once. I hated it. I did all I could do to survive…but in the end, I made things even worse. But I had no choice."
"Huh….really?"
"Yes. Sigh…truly, in times like these, you can't be either completely good or completely horrible. You have to adapt in different situations. And doing that would certainly bring prejudice to you. People will call you hypocrite, liar, et cetera…without realizing that they're the real hypocrites. But then again, who knows?"
Guo Jia couldn't answer. In his mind, he certainly never expected their casual nighttime conversation to suddenly turn into a cynical rant about the world.
"Heh…I suppose, that's the reason why now I'm seemingly simply unable to feel happy about anything else other than defeating the enemy. But even with that, nobody seems to ever trust me. I was never accepted by anyone…but as long as I get to do my job, I don't care in the slightest. If anything, in these time of chaos, they actually seemingly made the right decision to distrust me. A person who never hesitates to do horrible things if it's necessary to survive…that's what you and the others think about me, isn't it?"
Guo Jia felt as if a giant ice needle has stricken his heart. He has just now realized how hard life must've really been for Jia Xu. Many people judge him as a shady, treasonous schemer, even himself, but Guo Jia understands that Jia Xu is simply a weary man whose hardships have caused him to lose hope in life. And due to how much he prefers to stay alone, nobody ever knows this, all the while they kept their prejudice on him.
"W-what do you mean, Jia Xu?! That's not true!"
"Yes it is!"
"Huh?"
"I saw it. I saw that kind of stare in everybody's eyes. The stare that I have been receiving throughout my lifetime. It's obvious."
"I-I…"
"And haven't I told you how much I hate hypocrites? Well, this time, at least they don't even try to hide it. They have made it clear that they don't accept me here. But you tried to deny it."
"Jia Xu, listen to me!" After a long time, Guo Jia finally snapped.
"Huh?"
"Sigh…look, follow me." Wasting no time, Guo Jia grabbed Jia Xu's hand, dragging him outside.
"What?! Whoa, whoa, wait! Where are you going to take me to?!"
Guo Jia didn't answer. He kept on dragging Jia Xu until they arrived on the back of Han Palace's garden. It has reached nighttime, and the moon is shining bright with it's light reflecting upon the surface of the flowing river, causing it to glimmer in the most beautiful way.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on! Stop it! What…what is the meaning of this?!"
Guo Jia won't answer. He then instead grabbed both of Jia Xu's shoulders. This caused to older man to blush slightly.
"What?"
Guo Jia still won't answer. All of the sudden, he dragged Jia Xu towards him, causing their lips to touch each other. Jia Xu was extremely surprised upon the younger man's action. However, he slowly came to accept the kiss, even putting his hands around Guo Jia's waist to keep them close to each other. It's only after Guo Jia released the kiss is when Jia Xu came to realize what he had done.
"Pant…pant…now, do you still doubt me?" said the blond man.
"Huh?! Doubt…you?"
"Yes. Didn't…didn't you ever realize it?"
"Realizing what?"
"Sigh…when you first came into Lord Cao Cao's service, many viewed you as weird and untrustworthy, as you had told me before. However…not for me."
"I-is that so?"
"Yes. When I first saw you…I thought you're actually interesting. You just have this unique charm that drew me to you. I had tried to get close to you, but I couldn't because you have always preferred to be alone. And then, when I actually do….I realized how these chaotic times really affect you, and how you just became completely negative on the entire world, unable to even be happy other than destroying enemy numbers anymore."
"I-I…"
"I…do not want that to happen to you. I just want you to be happy….there's really much more in this world to be happy about. I want you to realize that. I want to fill this void inside your heart….I want you…to feel accepted." Tears were flowing down Guo Jia's cheeks.
"M-master Guo Jia! I…" Jia Xu immediately felt guilty of making Guo Jia cry.
"But you doubted me. You said that I'm just like everyone else, distrusting you and thinking that you're nothing than a sneaky traitor. But I know that that's simply not true. So I had to show my true feelings for you…"
Now Jia Xu realized everything. He now knows that his cynicism of the world is simply wrong of him, and that it could potentially hurt other people's feelings, including Guo Jia. He never intended any of this. He doesn't want Guo Jia to be sad because of him. Immediately, he hugged Guo Jia.
"Huh?"
"Tsk…I…I'm sorry…" Jia Xu also started to cry. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry for making you sad….I never wanted to! I never realized how much you care about me…I'm sorry for not being able to see that…"
"Jia Xu…"
"Now that I know about it….I…thank you…I'll take good care of you, also…"
"Hah…I thank you too."
"Really?"
"Yes."
The two then shared a meaningful smile towards each other before once again locking their lips under the beautiful moonlight. Soon, a small voice could be heard coming from both of their mouths.
"I love you."
THE END
Hiya! So…I'm kinda sorry yesterday I didn't upload anything. I actually have been working on this fic since yesterday, but since I had some problems writing this (Romance is not really my forte, tbh), I'm now only able to finish it today.
So, yeah…this is my first yaoi fic for my ultimate DW OTP, so I know it may not be as good, but I'm happy of how it came out! :D I might do some more in the future, just you see ;)
Again, I just think that this ship needs more love. There are too few fanfics about them around here! ;3; Regardless, I'm happy to be able to share this to fellow Kaku2 (I think that's the ship's nickname in the Japanese fandom, yes?) shippers out there! Good day!