I stared at the blank paper in front of me. The horrible, disgusting piece of paper starred mockingly at me. I wish I had Tony's suit, or Thor's hammer. The offending paper would be in ashes, smoking lightly in an empty room. Instead I am forced to sit here and glare banefully at it.

"Jess, your lines are not about to write themselves. I have to go but I expect them done before I get back," Cap said resolutely before walking out. I picked up my pen and began scratching out some words in my illegible writing muttering a string of curses after Fury as I went.

Rule 1: Black Adder WW1 episodes are banned.

(Tony and I showed them to Steve)

(He thought that was the way the war actually ended)

(Fury made me give him my history textbook)

(And then spend the next week answering his questions.)

Rule 2: Typos in daily reports are unacceptable

(You will be forced to re-do them)

(And being SHIELD operatives, they have incredible spell checks)

(Curse you Fury!)

Rule 3: Dead legging is forbidden

(Not only does it get annoying but once the Thor learned of this…)

(Only bad things happen)

(Especially when you dead leg Natasha)

(Not even Hawkeye could protect me)

Rule 4: Do not use experimental plant grow formulas

(Let's just say it does a lot more than help the plants grow)

Rule 5: When you're bored don't attempt the following:

Use your secret mind powers (You'll get weird looks) (But I swear that the pencil did move!)

Stare at people behind their backs (It freaks everyone out) (Bonus points if you don't blink)

Rate passers-by (This is where you mark people ten out of ten for clothing, hair, shoes…etc.)

Make low buzzing noises (Perfect for those awkward silences!) (Or just annoying people in general)

Developing a weird twitch (I did this while watching TV) (I was this close to getting another mentality test)

Rule 6: "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an answer to any question

(Your sanity will be questioned)

(Not to mention you'll be doing mentality tests for a week)

(Trust me, those are hell)

Rule 7: War stories are fun, but be careful how many times you ask

(It'll start to get boring after the tenth time you've heard the same story)

(If you get stuck with Steve, just slowly move away while he's talking)

(This is the perfect opportunity to practice your stealth abilities)

Rule 8: Do not call me little girl

("You WILL regret this)

(And after I finish my punishment for killing you. I will have my revenge)

Rule 9: Using a jump rope as a whip is prohibited

(There can be so many problems with this)

Rule 10: I am no longer allowed to use old cups as bowling pins

(I found a whole bunch of old coffee mugs and lined them up)

(They were old and chipped anyway)

(It was fun until we realized how many pieces we had to clean up)

(Still haven't found them all)

Rule 11: Bath bombs are not actual bombs

(You know what, I'm not gonna bother with a caption)

Rule 12: Try to keep a poker face when in trouble

(This is essential to avoid punishment)

(Of course if you screw up then you're on your own)

(Bruce)

(he cracked when Tony threatened to take away his lab access.)

Rule 13: If a fight should occur over the 'last one', please settle the conflict peacefully

(Ally and I grabbed the cookie at the same time)

(This resulted in an intense stare down of epic proportions)

(Plus a lot of yelling too)

Rule 14: Never time how fast it takes to flee from danger

(I enjoy doing this on a regular basis)

(So far Loki is in the lead with 1:01)

(However I beat his time by forty seconds)

Rule 15: Tin cans make great security systems

(When dealing with the resident dimwits a.k.a. Thor and Tony then yes)

(They really need to work on their ninja skills)

(Man, their reactions were priceless when they tripped!)

Rule 16: Do not wake me before ten.

(Don't do it!)

(It's your own funeral.)

(Seriously not even Tony dares wake me.)

Rule 17: No attempts at elbow licking

(A few of us got really bored)

(We need to get out more often)

(Anyway, Tony, Bruce, Hawkeye and I all tried this)

(The results…Tony and Bruce both failed)

(Hawkeye almost did it)

(I... won)

(The best part was when the Steve and Natasha took notice)

(I think it was the faces that freaked them out first)

Rule 18: Using fancy words does not make you smart

(Thor will often point this out)

(As does Steve)

(Gee, can't a girl act smart for a few minutes?)

Rule 19 Don't take a bunch of feathers and throw them all over the place yelling "I'M MOLTING!"

(This will lead to a questioning of your sanity)

(Plus a trip to the Med Bay)

(I'm having nightmares of the Steve lecturing me now…)

Rule 20: Never hack any of the SHIELD computers so error messages pop up repeatedly

(Now that was fun)

(Several of the agents actually believed something was wrong with them)

(I was blamed for this of course…)

(Didn't do it but kudos to whoever did)

(Tony)

Rule 21: No one is allowed to use Thor's hammer, Tony's Suit or Hawkeye bow to "squish" things

(Sadly, we cannot get rid of Natasha)

(As much as we'd like too)

(Although Tony and Ally were quite enthusiastic about the suggestion)

Rule 22: Shouting "Let's do the village! Let's do the whole effing village!" while out on a mission is bad

(We need to stop reading "Skippy's List")

(We get way too many ideas)

(I said this while sneaking around some evil dude's hideout)

(I received a lot of "SHHHHH!" responses)

Rule 23: Never tell Thor about anything I learnt in Philosophy class

(We haven't heard the end of it)

(He's started questioning alternate realities)

(On the plus side it makes an interesting conversation)

Rule 24: Never under any circumstances deem it necessary to challenge any shield agents to a battle of epic ninjaness

(They will outdo you greatly)

(And also kick your ass you should you mess up)

(I know my fair share of moves!)

(But I decided to stop after a while since a foot was looming over my head)

Rule 25: Quoting Scott Pilgrim VS the World is not allowed

(This movie is epic epicness!)

"You punched me in the boob! Prepare to die, obviously!" (Thor was so screwed…) (I made him suffer)

"That's it! You cocky cock! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity!" (Ally) (She said this to 'the Loki after he stopped gloating how evil he was)

"We are Sex-Bob Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff…" (I nearly died of laughter when Hawkeye said this out loud)

"The only thing separating me from her is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass" (That was real…sweet…'Tony)

"Do you have any idea how long it took me to get all that information? Like, two hours! *Two hours!* (Boy was somebody mad that day)

"Do that again, and I will end you!" (A wise piece of advice boys) (Don't mess with girls)

Rule 26: Don't yell "HEADSHOT!" in the middle of battle

(This gets you a few stares)

(And another mentality test)

Rule 27: I am not allowed to touch paint

(It's fun and colourful)

(Well it was until I thought it'd be cool to re-enact Murdock's paint dance from A-Team)

(Oh good lord… Thor's face)

Rule 28: Do not use SHIELD's motto as your own

(If I tell you, then I have to kill you)

(Or something like that)

(I use this to scare the newbies)

Rule 29: Always ask before trusting Loki

(I don't trust their intelligence)

(he gave me a gun that they said "would most absolutely definitely" fire)

(I went flying backwards)

(But at least they were right about something)

(Of course I was knocked unconscious so I have no idea what)

Rule 30: Using Kool-Aid as hair dye is not allowed

(Steve already thinks its bad for our health)

(No use using it for other purposes)

(Although purple is so not my colour)

Rule 31: Remember the warning signs of Bruce's rage

(Tony, Thor)

(If it's he says run… RUN)

(Chances are you'll be in pieces if you don't)

Rule 32: Never take any tools from the Workshop for personal destruction

(I'm starting to wonder if anyone will listen to this rule)

(The result of this will mean that living in Stark Towers will be a personal hell)

Rule 33: Don't suffocate the humans!

(We need to breath you know!)

(Yes, yes, even me)

(So if our faces are turning red, let go)

Rule 34: Calling any of the smaller 'agents "shorties" is insulting

(Quite a few of them are tall for their ages)

(Some of them have tempers)

(And guns)

Rule 35: Do not come up with reasons behind the shield code names

(This was a fun day)

(We came up with many odd reasons)

(Some of them were too ridiculous to write up)

Rule 36: Chain letters are banned

(Steve was convinced if he didn't send the letter to ten people he'd be visited by some ghost)

Rule 37: Making random bird noises will annoy people greatly

(Especially Thor)

Rule 38: Red Rover is banned

(Ally and I enjoy running at the newbies)

(They avoid us now)

Rule 39: You cannot prove you're Batman

(Tony wasn't convinced)

("I'm Batman! See? Easy.")

(Bro, that's lame for starters. Your Iron Man)

Rule 40: Whenever someone touches you don't run around in circles and yell "I'VE GOT COOTIES!"

(More mentality tests)

(And shots)

(I hate shots!)

Rule 41: 'Spoiler Alert' is a useful phrase

(This is a general life lesson)

(I can't even begin to count all the times I've been given evil looks for ruining movies)

Rule 42: Do not let Bruce use a microwave to make plasma

(Or heat up anything else that's not human food)

(You don't want to know what kind of disaster will result)

(I never wanna eat marshmallows again)

Rule 43: Voyeurism is not a hobby!

(So quit spying on us Fury!)

(None of us is harbouring any fugitives in our rooms)

Rule 44: Random name generators are forbidden

(We've all got new nicknames now)

(Very embarrassing)

(Mine wasn't exactly great either)

Rule 45: Don't reprogram Jarvis

(I don't know how, but its voice sounds like that computer from Eagle Eye)

"Refrain from abandoning that useless item within my field of vision" (I was holding a pencil…)

"Exit in an orderly fashion or be subject to termination" (Everyone surprisingly listened)

"Affirmative, carbon based life forms must be removed from the premises" (One of these days I'm taking a sledgehammer to that thing)

"As you can see, you are without hope. Nobody is here to save you. You are alone. You have five seconds to retreat." (It gets into your head!)

Rule 46: Roommate Agreements (or any agreements) are banned

(Sheldon Cooper is insane OK!)

(It can also get out of hand)

(Steve made up a bunch of ridiculous rules)

('Section 5: Danger, sub section C: Snow, paragraph H: Jokes')

("Humans are to remove any traces of aqueous parasites before entering the base")

(Whoever called snow 'dandruff from the sky' or 'watery parasites' is so doomed)

Rule 47: Throwing rotten fruit for your own amusement is not allowed

(Thor, Tony)

(I don't want to know where you got them)

(Do you know how long it took to get all the tomato slime out of my shirt?)

(Weeks!)

Rule 48: Never go along with whatever Tony and Bruce come up with

(It will end it disaster)

(You will get blamed for it)

(Even if you were never there)

Rule 49: If you stumble upon something illegal, run

(Chances are, Fury will probably kill you)

(If you run fast enough you may be able to save yourself a headache)

(And severe punishments)

(Which may include being used as target practice, hour long lectures, or homework

(That last one should be avoided at all costs)

Rule 50: Do not let any God's near lava lamps

(It tends to mesmerize them)

(Thor's eyes went blurry from staring so long)

(Smack Tony upside the head if he encourages Loki to break it open)

Review with the rule you want the story too and I'll post it with the next set of rules,

Blaze!