A/N: Look, it's another story where Beth doesn't die!
I don't currently have any pairings listed for this because it's focused on Beth, and she's alone for a good deal of the story. However, I may update it later. I haven't decided yet.
...
Her group was coming.
She knew. Carol was here, and now Dawn couldn't get in contact with the cops she'd sent out.
They wouldn't leave Carol. They wouldn't leave her.
They were coming.
…
"Hansen lost his way," Dawn says. "That's what happened."
She killed him, Beth thinks and ice runs down her spine. This is how Dawn is in power here. She killed the man who was in charge, her friend.
How could she do that?
She doesn't want to understand.
…
Of course, understanding comes all too quickly. An officer tries to kill Dawn, and Beth pushes him down the elevator shaft.
She kills him.
"I don't cry anymore," she tells Dawn, and for once it's the truth. She doesn't think she can cry anymore. She feels numb. She killed someone. O'Donnell. One of the bad ones, like Gorman (and she killed him too, even if she doesn't want to think so, even if it wasn't only her), but that doesn't change that she killed him.
She didn't think she could do that.
But I could.
What does that make her?
"You were protecting yourself," she tells Dawn, because she understands now, she understands what this place is, and she has nothing to lose by saying it. "That's how things get done here. Everyone uses people to get what they want. You're not the ones who have to remember."
They talk about Noah (he's going home, screw Dawn, he's going to make it, she has to believe that), and Dawn says she's aware that Beth knows Carol, says that Beth can be a part of the hospital, that she didn't use Beth, that she'll remember.
Beth has nothing to say to that – she's not staying here, even if all the people like Gorman and O'Donnell were gone, this place isn't living – but then it doesn't matter anyway, because that's the moment that Carol wakes up.
"Beth," she rasps croakily, and Beth hurries to get her a drink of water, sitting down next to her to help her drink as Dawn stands from the bed.
"Hey," Beth says softly, smiling. A warm sort of softness is blooming deep in her chest. "Good to see you."
"You too," Carol smiles back gently, and it hits Beth all at once, how much she's missed everyone, how good it is to hear a familiar voice, the warmth in her chest spreading through her veins to tingle at her fingertips. One of her family, someone she loves, and someone who has been like a mother to her is here, and god, she reaches down and takes Carol's hand and she can't remember the last time she was so happy.
But then,
"Officer Lerner, this is Officer Franco, do you copy?"
Dawn heaves a sigh of relief as the crackle of her radio sounds from the corner of the room.
"Franco, what the hell is going on? Have you and McGinley found the other three?"
"There's a guy here, says his name is Rick Grimes. His group's got Shepard and Lacarey, wants to exchange them for Beth, and the woman we brought in from the car crash."
Dawn glances at Beth, and Beth doesn't even try to hide her excitement, heart beating heavily in her chest. Rick's coming, and the others. Maggie, maybe. Daryl. Her family. Finally, this will be over.
Dawn eyes her for a moment, then turns away. "What happened to Lampson?"
"They say he was attacked by the dead before they got to him."
She sighs, running a hand over her forehead. "And Noah, have you found him?"
"He's with their group."
"Good. Okay." She flashes a look back at Beth, almost guiltily. "One hours' time, fifth floor corridor. We'll make the exchange there. Don't say anything, but make sure Noah goes with them."
"I'll make sure."
"Good."
The warmth thrumming softly through Beth's veins turns to ice, and Dawn turns back to the bed, her face hard and impassive.
"Finish up here and then go mop the west hall, Beth. I'll collect you when it's time."
She's gone without another word, and all Beth can do is stare. Dawn's going to make Noah come back. He's been here so long, and he was finally going home, and she's going to force him to come back.
Fuck her.
"Beth?" Carol asks, squeezing the hand she'd never let go of. "You okay?"
"Yeah." She hears her voice reply. "Sorry. Just … can't believe I'm finally going to get to leave." She turns back to Carol with a smile. "Who's with you and Rick? Is … is Maggie alive?"
Carol beams. "Maggie's fine. She and Glenn are with us, and some new people they picked up on the road. Rick too, of course, and Carl, Michonne, Daryl, Tyreese, Bob and Sasha too. Judith, even."
"Judith?" she chokes out, and god, she doesn't cry anymore, but she just might right now. "Judith, and Maggie … everyone …" she smiles. "How did you find each other?"
"There were signs to a place called Terminus, said it was a sanctuary. We all followed them, they led down the train tracks, but -"
"Beth!" The door opens and Dawn steps back in. "The west hall, I told you. You might be leaving, but so long as you're still here, you've got work to do." The door slams, and Beth is cold again.
"I've got to go, sorry," she tells Carol, and manages another smile. "I'll see you soon."
Beth aches to stay here and talk about her family, find out everything, but Dawn will be back and she can't let Carol be punished the way Noah was when she screwed up last time. So she stands with a last squeeze of Carol's hand, moving to the door.
"See you soon," Carol responds with a smile as Beth leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
…
She goes to her room and retrieves the scissors from where she'd hidden them under her mattress, sliding them under her cast.
…
She doesn't go to the west hallway.
Instead she sits as she had earlier, legs dangling down the open elevator shaft, listening to the walkers below, still feasting on O'Donnell's body.
She thinks about Gorman, and Jeffries, and O'Donnell, the men she's killed. She thinks about Dawn and Hansen, how she'd killed him, why she'd killed him. She thinks about Doctor Edwards and the man he'd killed through her actions. She thinks about the ward who'd helped her in exchange for strawberries. She thinks about Joan, the other women here, what was being done to them, what Gorman had tried to do to her. She thinks about Noah, and how, for all Dawn's insistence that this was what was necessary, she was going to force him to be trapped here again, for no reason, for nothing.
All of this, for nothing.
She thinks about what Dawn had said to her – "I thought you were weak, you proved me wrong". She's right. Beth isn't weak. She survived. She helped Noah escape. She's killed people, now. She thought she could never do that. But she could. She did.
She thinks about her father, and whether he'd be proud of her, of what she's done, but she doesn't think about it for long. It matters, of course, but not as much as some other things matter now.
The door at the end of the corridor opens, and then it closes, the lock clicks and the footsteps move down the hall towards her.
"I told you, you're supposed to be cleaning the west hall, now get up."
She waits until she hears Dawn's footsteps stop next to her.
"You're going to make Noah come back." Her own voice sounds unfamiliar to her, so cold.
"That's none of your concern."
She stands, left foot at the edge of the elevator shaft, and looks Dawn in the eyes. The metal of the scissors is warm from the heat of her skin as she slides them into her hand.
"I get it now."
And with one quick movement, she reaches up and stabs Dawn Lerner in the throat.
She gasps and blood pours and her arm jerks and there's a BANG and the flesh of Beth's right shoulder tears and she staggers and she grips Dawn's vest and Dawn's fingers grab at the wall trying to find purchase and failing.
And they both fall into the black.
…
It's not long before an officer meets a group of people in the fifth floor corridor to tell them that he's sorry, she's gone, both of them, there was a gunshot, they both fell down the elevator shaft, and they were gone by the time anyone got there.
The group of people look like their hearts have been torn from their chests as they begin to cry.
…
Beth opens her eyes.
Everything hurts.
She's alive.
Everything hurts so much.
Whatever she's lying on is soft, and it takes her a moment to realize that she's pressed into Dawn's cold body, head on her stomach. They're lying on the broken ledge at the bottom of the shaft, the bodies of the people that had been thrown down right below, Walkers milling about underneath her, groaning and moaning. She's alive. Dawn's body must have taken the impact of the fall. And Dawn's moving.
Oh god.
The groans aren't just coming from the walkers below.
She slides her hand up Dawn's writhing body, to the scissors still embedded in her neck. One of Dawn's arms is grabbing at her back, fingers trying to scratch through her shirt, while the other is pinned underneath her body, and her shoulders and neck are hanging over the edge, above the bodies. She's growling and writhing, but the angle and Beth's body weight pinning her down has stopped her from ripping Beth's throat out.
It takes all of Beth's effort to grab on to the handle of the scissors still embedded in Dawn's throat, pull them out, sit up, and push them into her temple.
Finally, the body under her stops moving.
I killed her, and she saved my life, she thinks, and hysterically almost laughs. Would she have survived the fall on her own? She doubts it. She got lucky. She's lying on her right shoulder, and only when she moves and suddenly all the pain rushes back and she almost screams does she remember the bullet wound in her upper arm.
Sitting up, head pounding, she inspects her body. How long had she been unconscious? Blood is soaking her shirt sleeve and the front of Dawn's vest – she's lost a lot. She takes a deep breath – her ribs feel bruised but not cracked, that's good – and heaves her body up, careful not to fall into the pit of walkers moaning below her. There's not enough room for the both of them, so she moves to hug the wall and uses her feet to push Dawn's body down, wincing at the smack of flesh when she lands.
Crouching in the corner, Beth gingerly pulls up her hospital shirt, and inspects the damage to her arm.
And, oh god.
It's bad.
The bullet had grazed straight across her upper arm, leaving a gaping open wound of missing flesh half way between her elbow and shoulder. She's going to have to sterilize and stitch it soon, but for now slowing the blood loss will have to do. With bloody hands she removes her hospital shirt, shivering as the cool air caresses her bare skin, and begins to tear her shirt into strips, winding and tying them tightly around the wound. She winces.
God, it hurts.
Everything hurts.
When she's done, she lets out a long breath and leans back against the corner of the elevator shaft. God, she's so exhausted. She really shouldn't sleep. Her body hurts so much. Her head pounds. She probably has a concussion.
She closes her eyes anyway, and lets the sound of the walkers growling below lull her into a soft sleep.
...
A/N: I haven't written anything in years and I'm a huge baby so please tell me your thoughts!