DISCLAIMER: I don't own naruto, and blah blah blah (you heard it all before)
Oh well, if you haven't tough luck because well… I SAY SO! Moving on, I hope you enjoy my embarrassment of Neji-san! (in all honesty, I love Neji Hyuuga to death and I'm a huge fan of his but…sometimes you gotta let him lighten up.)
The not so Honorable Speech of a Jounin
How he got talked into this was only the 5th Hokage's doing. A young Jounin such as himself shouldn't be subjected to be a "guest speaker" in his former teacher's class at the Ninja Academy in the village of the leaf. Nothing was more embarrassing, especially for a Hyuuga such as himself. Neji had recently gotten back from a hard mission, along with some injuries that would take some time to heal. Lady Tsunade thought it would be "enlightening" for him educate the younger generations of ninja. In theory its not a bad idea but as he knows all too well the age group of 12 – 14 year olds, especially boys, can be extremely perverted.
"Class," Iruka – sensei stammered as he tried to get the class under control, "BE QUIET! We have a special guest today. He's a young Jounin named Neji Hyuuga and he took time out of his overly busy schedule to talk to you guys about how it is to be a ninja in real life."
Neji rolled his eyes as he walked in, and it was just as he thought. The whole group was nothing but hormonally charged group of kids. The young Jounin had been trained to handle and do many things, but nothing like this. The usual stoic and soft-spoken Neji of the branch family within the Hyuuga Compound wasn't ready for what was about to happen next. Iruka – Sensei sat down at his desk, and was ready to jump in if he needed to. The teaching of today's class was clearly up to Neji and him alone. Oh great, things couldn't get much worse….or could they?
"Thank you Iruka – Sensei," Neji began, "the life of a ninja isn't an easy path to take, in fact it's full of danger and risks. When I was in this class sitting as you are now only a few short years ago, I thought I knew everything. As I graduated from this classroom and play fights of the academy, I was quick to find out how hard being a ninja was. I've lost many comrades in the short time of me being a ninja, and have gained many friends throughout the lands. Over all though I believe that I made the right choice of being a ninja, and I have my Jounin status to show for such hard work and dedication it takes to be a ninja."
As Neji talked about his experiences and sharing his knowledge of the ways of ninja to the class, he found out that not everyone found it really interesting. Neji knew the moment he asked this he was going to regret opening Pandora's Box of trouble with the young ninjas-to-be. Hey, at least he gave a shot for them to be smart or at least act it.
"It seems that I am boring you with my speech. Do you have any questions about being a ninja or any other information about my travels?" Neji asked the class and EVERYONE looked his way.
If Iruka would ever see the young Hyuuga genius blush pinker than Sakura's hair, now would be the moment ant time. The poor Jounin had every sex crazed youngster looking at him with devilish glinting eyes; at least that's what it looked like to poor Neji-san. Iruka was soon to regret, as well as Neji, for bringing in a volunteer to even try to educate these monsters of children.
"Neji-san," one of the young academy students spoke up, "I have a question!"
FINALLY! Someone was showing interest or at least the two elder ninja thought. "Okay go ahead with your question." Iruka prompted his student.
"When you are on your travels and what not, do you get horny a lot and masturbate when no one is looking or when your teammates are asleep?" one snotty nosed kid sniffled as he talked spoke.
Taken aback but the question, Neji blush a pale pink but no one could notice. It was an obvious answer and of course he had before, but they didn't need to know that.
"Of course not, the mission always comes first in my ninja way!" Neji snorted, rather offended by the question.
Iruka cringed and yelled, "THAT IS NOT THE SORT OF QUESTION YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO ASK! I'M GOING TO TELL YOUR MOTHER ABOUT THIS AND WE'LL SEE HOW SHE LIKES HER SON TALKING IN SUCH A MANNOR TO A NINJA THAT PROTECTS OUR VILLAGE!"
Neji sighed knowing that he would have to speak with Tsunade about this, because apparently it wasn't working. Over the course of the next hour the poor jounin had blushed so much that his whole face had turned a bright pink. Iruka had regonized this and he sighed, his plan of educating the students from a ninja in the field's point of view was a complete and utter failure. So he allowed ONE last question to be asked towards Neji.
"In your travels and such you should have some contact with the locals of other villages and know ha whole lot about them," the young blonde headed student said, "have you ever had sex with the local women of the villages that you've visited on missins?"
Neji stammered one because he was a total virgin when it can to sex in general, and two he really never thought about having sex with anyone other than his crush since childhood. He only had sexual fantasies about the pink haired girl obsessed with (and still was) Sasuke, the emo bastard of the whole village. He quickly turned on his heel and left the classroom with a beat red face. It was the LAST time he did any sort of work with those perverted brats!!
I HOPE YOU LIKED IT! I found it funny and it's an idea that I had going in my head for awhile. XDDD