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us.
Author's notes: A story of singing, fun and.sock puppets. Enjoy!
Karaoke Night
Trip downed another lager. Across from him Malcolm was swigging something from a bottle, and enjoying it immensely. Archer was telling another corny joke, and when he reached the punchline Malcolm snorted his drink out his nose, causing everyone watching to burst out laughing. Seeing the effect his jokes had on Malcolm, Archer told another. And another. Until Malcolm was rolling around on the floor in hysterics.
Amidst the laughter, Trip marvelled inwardly at what alcohol could do to his usually stoical and disciplined friend. He then wondered how different he himself must seem to others when he was drinking. But he was too smashed for all this serious contemplation, so he fixed his gaze on the leggy blonde at the karaoke stand.
Trip turned away from her, having seen a burly guy taking her hand. He instead watched as Malcolm stood and sat back in his chair. Being almost completely sozzled, this was a hard task for the armoury officer.
Archer told another joke and poor Malcolm was on the floor once again, begging Archer to stop.
"Hey Trip," Archer said suddenly. "Can you sing?"
This caused another uncontrolled outburst of laughter from Malcolm.
"Shut-up, Malcolm," Trip said. To Jon he asked, "Umm, why?"
Jon threw a long, sly glance at the karaoke stand, then looked back at Trip.
Trip's jaw fell open. "You're kidding, right?"
"If you can sing a song on the karaoke, I'll get Malcolm to sing Total Eclipse Of The Heart" Archer said.
"No way," Trip said.
"Defiantly." Malcolm agreed, sobering slightly.
"Sock puppets." Archer said to Malcolm. Malcolm fell to the ground laughing hysterically.
"You really should stop doing that." Trip said. "It can't be good for him."
"Are you too chicken to sing?" Archer taunted. Malcolm stood shakily and he added "Or too sock puppet."
"And just why are you so eager to sing, Malcolm?" Trip wanted to know.
"Oh, just 'cause I know you won't do it," Malcolm slurred.
"C'mon, Trip, it'd be fun," Jon said, trying to egg him on. "But I get to pick the song!"
"No," came a voice, "I get to pick it."
"Hoshi?" Malcolm asked.
"I think you've had a little too much, Malcolm," Hoshi teased.
"No I haven't!" Malcolm replied indignantly.
"Sock puppets!" Hoshi said. Malcolm was once again in hysterics.
"See?" Her point made, Hoshi moved on to the matter in hand. "I get to choose the song because I can't have you screeching something too horrific. T'Pol would leave, and my ear drums would burst."
Trip stood. "You insulting my singing? I'll show you!" With that he rose and walked to the karaoke stand.
Jon shook his head at his friend. He should have known that if he wanted Trip to sing, he just had to have a woman insult him.
"Good work, Hoshi," he told her. "You just killed two birds with one stone - once Trip sings, Malcolm's gotta do it too!"
Hoshi laughed in anticipation as they watched Trip make his way to the stage. She followed him to select his song.
"It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Amen!
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Every Specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean"
If Malcolm had been hysterical before, he was positively out of control now.
The whole crew had stopped what they were doing to watch Trip make a fool of himself.
"God bless Mother Nature, she's a single woman too
She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do
She taught every angel to rearrange the sky"
"Hoshi you are a genius!" Archer said. Hoshi nodded, giggling.
Everyone in the bar was rolling with laughter and clapping along to Trip's performance. He thrived on the attention and danced all over the stage. He saw Malcolm asphyxiating, and Jon and Hoshi high-fiveing each other. His only consolation was that soon he would be sitting down there and watching the completely stoned Malcolm make an idiot of himself.
The song ended and Trip made his way towards Malcolm.
"Eeeep!" Malcolm squeaked as Trip came towards him. He ran away and Trip tore after him.
Someone shouted 'Sock puppets' and Malcolm was helpless with laughter once more. Between them several ensigns managed to drag the giggling lieutenant to the stage.
Hoshi made the selection, and poor Malcolm had to start singing.
He cleared his throat and realised there really was no way out of this one. He turned to his audience and sang through his drunken stupor.
"Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming 'round,"
"Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears."
Now it was Trip's turn to asphyxiate. But to make things just that little bit worse for Malcolm, Archer, Trip and Hoshi held up sock puppets
Malcolm battled bravely to finish the song through fits of giggles.
"And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right"
Trip held up a banner that said sock puppets. That was it. Malcolm fell off the stage laughing. There was dead silence. The music stopped.
Then they heard Malcolm giggling, and the noise started up again.
Trip ran up to the stage to rescue his friend.
Trip put his hands under Malcolm's arms and tried to pull him up.
Malcolm giggled hysterically.
"You're tickling me!" He complained.
"He's ok." Trip said to Hoshi. "Now only two more people have to sing..."
Hoshi's eyes widened. "Wait, you don't mean..."
"C'mon, Hoshi, let's go," Jon said. "Take it like a man."
"Hey!" she protested.
Trip grinned. "Oh, yeah, and WE get to pick your song."
"Oh, no," Hoshi groaned.
Jon took Hoshi's hand and led her unwillingly up to the stage. They waited while Trip and Malcolm entered their song selection. The music started.
"Oh, NO!" Hoshi exclaimed, "Anything but this!"
Jon just laughed and started singing.
"Step inside, walk this way
You and me babe, Hey hey!
Jon got through the first verse while Hoshi composed herself for the chorus.
"C'mon, take a bottle, shake it up,
Break the bubble, break it up!"
"Pour some sugar on me
Oh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
When the song ended Hoshi made a beeline for Malcolm, who ran off in the other direction. Or tried to. She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him on stage.
"And I will always love you." they sang. Malcolm missed most of the notes, due to the fact he was completely sozzled.
Hoshi got it right though cos she wasn't that drunk
and at the end of the song the got off the stage and headed back towards the Captain
"Now you have to sing with T'Pol!" Malcolm said.
All eyes turned to T'Pol, who was sitting in the far corner of the room with her nose in a book. She looked up at them disdainfully.
"I fail to see how this ritual is entertaining or humorous. All it does is humiliate and embarrass others in front of their peers. It-"
"Sub-Commander, centre stage, that's an order," Jon laughed as he himself leaped back onto the stage for his encore number.
T'Pol knew better than to disobey her superior, so she walked unceremoniously to the stage.
"Now I've had the time of my life
No, I never felt like this before
Yes, I swear, it's the truth
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I owe it all to you"
T'Pol sighed and sang her verse
"I've been waiting for so long
Now I've finally found someone to stand by me
We saw the writing on the wall
As we felt this magical fantasy
Now with passion in our eyes
There's no way we could disguise it secretly
So we take each other's hand
'Cause we seem to understand the urgency
Just remember"
The crews mouths dropped open.
Malcolm stopped giggling.
The crew was quiet until the end of the song, at which point they began to cheer
Jon bowed theatrically as the crowd went wild. T'Pol turned to him. "Are we finished, Captain?" she asked.
He laughed. "Yes. You can go. It was an honour performing with you."
She stepped off the stage and pushed through the crowd. After retrieving her book she left the room amidst the cheers as Jon continued to ham it up on the stage.
Jon followed.
"T'Pol?" He asked her.
"Captain."
"If you're mad just let me say..."
"I am not angry. It was an. . .enjoyable experience."
Jon grabbed T'Pol's arm. "Then lets do it again!"
T'Pol gave him a half smile. Jon blinked in surprise. Then T'Pol pulled him back into the party
T'Pol pulled an astonished Jon up to the bar where Trip, Hoshi, and Malcolm were all sitting.
"Ensign?" T'Pol asked.
"Yes, Sub-Commander?"
"I was wondering if you could perhaps suggest a song for the Captain and I to perform for our next selection."
Hoshi and Trip's mouths dropped open. They looked at Jon questioningly. He shrugged.
Malcolm burst out laughing at the display. So hard, in fact, that he fell off his barstool and onto the floor.
Hoshi, Trip, and a number of others cracked up at how smashed Malcolm was. The laughter continued for a few minutes, until they realised that Malcolm hadn't gotten up yet.
Jon looked down at him. "Lieutenant?"
Hoshi got up and knelt over him. "Malcolm?" she asked worriedly.
"Oh my God," Trip said, "he passed out! Damn, we shouldn't have let him drink so much."
"As if you could have stopped him?" Jon said. He sighed. "Well, let's get him to sickbay. He's gonna have one helluva hangover in the morning."
When Malcolm woke up Hoshi was asleep next to him
he poked her in the back to wake her up
"Wasn't I in sick bay last night?" he asked her.
"Yeah, but T'Pol carried you back to your quarters. Don't you remember?"
"All I remember is..." Malcolm caught sight of Archer, T'Pol, Trip and Ensign Cutler asleep in various places in his quarters.
"Don't ask." Hoshi replied. "I think it was Trip who came up with the idea of a slumber party. But you suggested your quarters."
"Oh. Ok." Malcolm drifted off to sleep again.
Hoshi snuggled closer to him. Before she drifted off to sleep herself she woke Malcolm and whispered "Sock puppets." Then she left him to try and contain his laughter.
Author's notes: A story of singing, fun and.sock puppets. Enjoy!
Karaoke Night
Trip downed another lager. Across from him Malcolm was swigging something from a bottle, and enjoying it immensely. Archer was telling another corny joke, and when he reached the punchline Malcolm snorted his drink out his nose, causing everyone watching to burst out laughing. Seeing the effect his jokes had on Malcolm, Archer told another. And another. Until Malcolm was rolling around on the floor in hysterics.
Amidst the laughter, Trip marvelled inwardly at what alcohol could do to his usually stoical and disciplined friend. He then wondered how different he himself must seem to others when he was drinking. But he was too smashed for all this serious contemplation, so he fixed his gaze on the leggy blonde at the karaoke stand.
Trip turned away from her, having seen a burly guy taking her hand. He instead watched as Malcolm stood and sat back in his chair. Being almost completely sozzled, this was a hard task for the armoury officer.
Archer told another joke and poor Malcolm was on the floor once again, begging Archer to stop.
"Hey Trip," Archer said suddenly. "Can you sing?"
This caused another uncontrolled outburst of laughter from Malcolm.
"Shut-up, Malcolm," Trip said. To Jon he asked, "Umm, why?"
Jon threw a long, sly glance at the karaoke stand, then looked back at Trip.
Trip's jaw fell open. "You're kidding, right?"
"If you can sing a song on the karaoke, I'll get Malcolm to sing Total Eclipse Of The Heart" Archer said.
"No way," Trip said.
"Defiantly." Malcolm agreed, sobering slightly.
"Sock puppets." Archer said to Malcolm. Malcolm fell to the ground laughing hysterically.
"You really should stop doing that." Trip said. "It can't be good for him."
"Are you too chicken to sing?" Archer taunted. Malcolm stood shakily and he added "Or too sock puppet."
"And just why are you so eager to sing, Malcolm?" Trip wanted to know.
"Oh, just 'cause I know you won't do it," Malcolm slurred.
"C'mon, Trip, it'd be fun," Jon said, trying to egg him on. "But I get to pick the song!"
"No," came a voice, "I get to pick it."
"Hoshi?" Malcolm asked.
"I think you've had a little too much, Malcolm," Hoshi teased.
"No I haven't!" Malcolm replied indignantly.
"Sock puppets!" Hoshi said. Malcolm was once again in hysterics.
"See?" Her point made, Hoshi moved on to the matter in hand. "I get to choose the song because I can't have you screeching something too horrific. T'Pol would leave, and my ear drums would burst."
Trip stood. "You insulting my singing? I'll show you!" With that he rose and walked to the karaoke stand.
Jon shook his head at his friend. He should have known that if he wanted Trip to sing, he just had to have a woman insult him.
"Good work, Hoshi," he told her. "You just killed two birds with one stone - once Trip sings, Malcolm's gotta do it too!"
Hoshi laughed in anticipation as they watched Trip make his way to the stage. She followed him to select his song.
"It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Amen!
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Every Specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean"
If Malcolm had been hysterical before, he was positively out of control now.
The whole crew had stopped what they were doing to watch Trip make a fool of himself.
"God bless Mother Nature, she's a single woman too
She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do
She taught every angel to rearrange the sky"
"Hoshi you are a genius!" Archer said. Hoshi nodded, giggling.
Everyone in the bar was rolling with laughter and clapping along to Trip's performance. He thrived on the attention and danced all over the stage. He saw Malcolm asphyxiating, and Jon and Hoshi high-fiveing each other. His only consolation was that soon he would be sitting down there and watching the completely stoned Malcolm make an idiot of himself.
The song ended and Trip made his way towards Malcolm.
"Eeeep!" Malcolm squeaked as Trip came towards him. He ran away and Trip tore after him.
Someone shouted 'Sock puppets' and Malcolm was helpless with laughter once more. Between them several ensigns managed to drag the giggling lieutenant to the stage.
Hoshi made the selection, and poor Malcolm had to start singing.
He cleared his throat and realised there really was no way out of this one. He turned to his audience and sang through his drunken stupor.
"Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming 'round,"
"Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears."
Now it was Trip's turn to asphyxiate. But to make things just that little bit worse for Malcolm, Archer, Trip and Hoshi held up sock puppets
Malcolm battled bravely to finish the song through fits of giggles.
"And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right"
Trip held up a banner that said sock puppets. That was it. Malcolm fell off the stage laughing. There was dead silence. The music stopped.
Then they heard Malcolm giggling, and the noise started up again.
Trip ran up to the stage to rescue his friend.
Trip put his hands under Malcolm's arms and tried to pull him up.
Malcolm giggled hysterically.
"You're tickling me!" He complained.
"He's ok." Trip said to Hoshi. "Now only two more people have to sing..."
Hoshi's eyes widened. "Wait, you don't mean..."
"C'mon, Hoshi, let's go," Jon said. "Take it like a man."
"Hey!" she protested.
Trip grinned. "Oh, yeah, and WE get to pick your song."
"Oh, no," Hoshi groaned.
Jon took Hoshi's hand and led her unwillingly up to the stage. They waited while Trip and Malcolm entered their song selection. The music started.
"Oh, NO!" Hoshi exclaimed, "Anything but this!"
Jon just laughed and started singing.
"Step inside, walk this way
You and me babe, Hey hey!
Jon got through the first verse while Hoshi composed herself for the chorus.
"C'mon, take a bottle, shake it up,
Break the bubble, break it up!"
"Pour some sugar on me
Oh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
When the song ended Hoshi made a beeline for Malcolm, who ran off in the other direction. Or tried to. She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him on stage.
"And I will always love you." they sang. Malcolm missed most of the notes, due to the fact he was completely sozzled.
Hoshi got it right though cos she wasn't that drunk
and at the end of the song the got off the stage and headed back towards the Captain
"Now you have to sing with T'Pol!" Malcolm said.
All eyes turned to T'Pol, who was sitting in the far corner of the room with her nose in a book. She looked up at them disdainfully.
"I fail to see how this ritual is entertaining or humorous. All it does is humiliate and embarrass others in front of their peers. It-"
"Sub-Commander, centre stage, that's an order," Jon laughed as he himself leaped back onto the stage for his encore number.
T'Pol knew better than to disobey her superior, so she walked unceremoniously to the stage.
"Now I've had the time of my life
No, I never felt like this before
Yes, I swear, it's the truth
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I owe it all to you"
T'Pol sighed and sang her verse
"I've been waiting for so long
Now I've finally found someone to stand by me
We saw the writing on the wall
As we felt this magical fantasy
Now with passion in our eyes
There's no way we could disguise it secretly
So we take each other's hand
'Cause we seem to understand the urgency
Just remember"
The crews mouths dropped open.
Malcolm stopped giggling.
The crew was quiet until the end of the song, at which point they began to cheer
Jon bowed theatrically as the crowd went wild. T'Pol turned to him. "Are we finished, Captain?" she asked.
He laughed. "Yes. You can go. It was an honour performing with you."
She stepped off the stage and pushed through the crowd. After retrieving her book she left the room amidst the cheers as Jon continued to ham it up on the stage.
Jon followed.
"T'Pol?" He asked her.
"Captain."
"If you're mad just let me say..."
"I am not angry. It was an. . .enjoyable experience."
Jon grabbed T'Pol's arm. "Then lets do it again!"
T'Pol gave him a half smile. Jon blinked in surprise. Then T'Pol pulled him back into the party
T'Pol pulled an astonished Jon up to the bar where Trip, Hoshi, and Malcolm were all sitting.
"Ensign?" T'Pol asked.
"Yes, Sub-Commander?"
"I was wondering if you could perhaps suggest a song for the Captain and I to perform for our next selection."
Hoshi and Trip's mouths dropped open. They looked at Jon questioningly. He shrugged.
Malcolm burst out laughing at the display. So hard, in fact, that he fell off his barstool and onto the floor.
Hoshi, Trip, and a number of others cracked up at how smashed Malcolm was. The laughter continued for a few minutes, until they realised that Malcolm hadn't gotten up yet.
Jon looked down at him. "Lieutenant?"
Hoshi got up and knelt over him. "Malcolm?" she asked worriedly.
"Oh my God," Trip said, "he passed out! Damn, we shouldn't have let him drink so much."
"As if you could have stopped him?" Jon said. He sighed. "Well, let's get him to sickbay. He's gonna have one helluva hangover in the morning."
When Malcolm woke up Hoshi was asleep next to him
he poked her in the back to wake her up
"Wasn't I in sick bay last night?" he asked her.
"Yeah, but T'Pol carried you back to your quarters. Don't you remember?"
"All I remember is..." Malcolm caught sight of Archer, T'Pol, Trip and Ensign Cutler asleep in various places in his quarters.
"Don't ask." Hoshi replied. "I think it was Trip who came up with the idea of a slumber party. But you suggested your quarters."
"Oh. Ok." Malcolm drifted off to sleep again.
Hoshi snuggled closer to him. Before she drifted off to sleep herself she woke Malcolm and whispered "Sock puppets." Then she left him to try and contain his laughter.