So... A while back I wrote a fic called Total Drama Empire. It was pretty poor, and ended after the fourth challenge with a cliffhanger and an obvious Face-Heel Turn (see TVTropes for more info). Not to mention the casting at the time was obscure. Anyway, I've decided to rewrite it, with different challenges. And don't worry, Chris won't throw in an extra contestant. (That was actually a "Careful What You Wish For" moment in the original.)

Review if you want me to re-post the original. Some of the casting in that was different, so yeah, you could ask about it. Without further ado...

Total Drama Empire

A 7'th Season TD/Star Wars fic

Chapter One: The Totally-Not-Kidnapping

"We're live from the Super Star Destroyer Executor, home to bucketheaded soldiers and an evil government! After the 'problem' of our fifth season, we've pulled all the stops to make this season RIPE with suspense!"

Chris McLean smiled to the camera. He was ready to make this season full of entertainment.

"Owen. Beth. Heather. Cameron. Zoey. Shawn. All of them have gone down in Total Drama history as true champions, and four of them even left the show... with ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS. In this suitcase..." Chris motioned to a suitcase, which the camera zoomed in on; "...is another million dollars! And this time, it's gonna be harder to get than EVER."

"Our sixteen fan-favorite contestants will have to deal with crappy food situations..." He motioned to a plate of ration packs, that had flies buzzing around them. "...Poor sleeping arrangements..." At this, the camera flashed to a room with stiff cots stacked one on top of another. It then cut to Chris in a bathroom. "A camera in the potty, and, as usual, the prejudice of their fellow teens." The camera cut back to the docking bay. "Alright, here come the victims... By the way, they're organized by season, so they don't know who to expect."

A small shuttle landed in the room. The door opened, and Chris motioned to two white-armored soldiers and a burly black dude, Chef Hatchet, to remove the "victims". The first person they dragged out was a tall, dark-skinned woman. She was tied up, presumably because she had tried to resist her capt- I mean, transportation.

"Yo, Jasmine!" called Chris. "How's it feel to be back?"

As the troopers untied the Outback Survivalist, she glared at Chris. "You know, even though I'm usually nice about it, I'm saying it straight: I hate you."

"Yeah, I get that a lot. You know who DOESN'T hate me?" Chris turns to the guards. "Stormtroopers! Fetch Topher!"

Topher was a ginger who wore clothing awfully similar to Chris'. The man was, effectively, Chris 2.0, as he said. He had even once tried to take command of the show himself- the same day he got eliminated during the sixth season. Apart from that, he ADORED McLean.

"Hey, dude," Chris said casually. "Remember, you're only allowed in the game as long as you DON'T try to steal my job."

"Yes, sir, Chris!" Topher said enthusiastically.

"LET ME OUT!"

The voice was high-pitched and feminine, feisty and angry. "If you're not gonna let me out, I'M COMING OUT MYSELF!"

Loud kicking noises could be heard from inside the transport. Within seconds, another ginger flew out of the ship, this one with a few scratches on her face. She landed painfully on the floor... before standing straight up and yelling "THAT WAS AWESOME!"

Chris stopped for a moment, then gave a false smile. "Let's hear it for Izzy, everyone!"

Chef and Topher stepped back instantly, knowing that Izzy was dangerous when in an escape frenzy. Then again, she was dangerous ALL THE TIME. Izzy was always the wild card. It seemed like she could talk to animals, and she always had lots of weird stuff on her, whatever the situation. When you saw her taking out a LIGHTER, you had best ducked for cover, or you wouldn't live another day.

As the Wild Child got over to her companions, shoving could be heard back in the (trailer) ship. Then, a woman's voice could be heard; "Alright, alright, I'm gettin' off! Stop rushing me!"

Chris smiled. "And here's Leshawna! Say hi, girl!"

Leshawna un-boarded. She was somewhat larger than the others, and wore a tan shirt with a fruit pattern. She had a brownish skin tone. The "Sister with 'Tude" looked Chris in the eye... and then slapped him as soon as her arm was near, saying "Why the heck'd you kidnap us?"

"I did not!" Chris said hastily and suddenly, as if wanting to conceal something. "Before we get too rowdy, we'd best get the next dude off the ship! Bring in Geoff!"

Geoff was the party dude, the happy man, the Funnest Guy Around, as people said. He wore an unbuttoned pink jacket and a cowboy hat. A red line across his chest suggested rope burn.

"Dude, this looks SO rad!" said Geoff as he departed the ship. "Shame you didn't get Bridge, y'know, but hey, at least she didn't have to be kidn-"

"MOVING ON," Chris said almost instantly. "Next up, we've got the primary manipulator of World Tour... Alejandro!

Alejandro stepped out of the ship. He sized up his foes, and smiled. The Archvillain turned to Chris. "Well, good to see you, Chris. When will I find out who my allies and enemies are?"

"We'll get to that soon, Al," Chris said casually, annoying the Spaniard. "Anyways, our next contestant is one you'll probably recognize right away..." Chris scoffed silently at the paper, then looked up. "...Duncan."

A punk boy stepped out of the craft... in handcuffs. The Delinquent gave McLean a death glare, but Chris merely turned away.

"He's... still on parole for BLOWING UP MY COTTAGE IN SEASON FIVE."

"And the only way I'll be let out after this is all over," Duncan said grumpily, "is if I can pay the bail. Look out, million dollars, here comes Duncan!"

Al looked back and forth. "Hold on. Why the imbalance between seasons?"

"Oh, that?" Chris said. "Most later-season campers aren't as well-liked as you guys. We did manage to get about three more of the Pakhitew cast, though, four Revenge-players, and two more of you!"

"And the latter had to be Courtney and Heather?" called Leshawna. "You couldn't have picked nicer ones, like Lindsay? Or, say, Cody?"

Alejandro raised his eyebrows. "I can't believe you still bad-mouth Heather after all of what I did third season- she put a stopper on me."

"But not for season five," Leshawna commented.

Chris glared. "Why'd ya have to ruin it, Leshawna? I thought we were friends."

"In your dreams, madman."

Promptly, the stormtroopers brought out the two scrambling women in question. The Queen Bee slapped at air, missing the "Type A" by several inches, while the resister fought back in very much the same fashion. Eventually, the troopers pulled out their electrobinders to stop the squabbling girls before the catfight grew into a nuclear meltdown.

Alejandro winked. "Oh, Heather? Over here!"

Heather growled. They clearly hadn't smoothed things out after the mania that was the All-Stars finale. At first, they were smitten for each other, but when Chris announced that anyone could have the money, they'd gone mad with each other. Courtney and Duncan, too, were having problems.

"Hey, Court!" Duncan called. "In prime condition, as always."

Courtney growled. "Shut up, Dudcan. I'm still not over what happened with Gwen."

"Re-using Jo's material?" asked Duncan. "That's pretty low for someone with your standards."

Courtney leapt at her ex-boyfriend, prompting one of the troopers to blast her with a stun-gun. She fell to the ground, her whole body numb.

"Why you-"

"Don't worry," Chris said. "I'll find someone to stand you up. In the meantime, our other Pakhitew competitors are here. Should've really introduced them behind Topher and Jaz, am I right?"

Chef glared. "You were kinda going off track from when Izzy messed with the schedule."

"Oh, yeah. Anyways, troops, bring out-"

"Hands off, you mooks!" came a shrill, whimpery voice. "You have no right to treat your future overlord with this manner!"

Jasmine threw her hand to her face as Max disembarked. The Supervillain cackled (failing, horribly whilst doing so), then excused himself to come up with a better evil laugh.

"Nope," Chris said. "You have to join the others, OK?"

Max crossed his arms. "Very well. I will allow you to have this victory, but fear my words, mortal... No man who once disses Max the Mighty (I actually quite like that) will want to live until I have achieved my TRUE power! Evil will not be shackled by your-"

"Seen it, done it, bought the bumper sticker," Chris said. "Now for some fun... Chef? I want you personally to bring out Dave."

Chef grinned as he entered the ship. Then, he came out, with the Normal Guy slung over his back.

"He passed out 'cause there was germs on the ship."

Chris grinned. "Just set him down."

Chef threw Dave to the ground. The germaphobe landed on Courtney.

"UGH!" the C.I.T. shouted. "Once I can move again, I swear-"

"I'd like to hear you swear," Duncan said, raising an eyebrow. "Look, little miss 'tight and proper' using a bad word, ooh-"

"As much as I'd like to hear that," Chris said, "we have another girl coming out. And this one's a doozy!"

Then, Amy stepped out of the ship.

The Nasty Cheerleader looked at her competition. "Ugh, this is a MESS. There's no way any of you guys will last long. My guess on first out? The girl who got beat by Dave."

Courtney couldn't handle it anymore. "I didn't get beaten by Dave, I've been stunned, and once I can move, I can and will find a way to deal with EVERY ONE OF YOU. Understand?"

"Oh, please," Amy said. "Since I don't have to be held back by my sister this time, I'm a shoo-in!"

"Being mean gets you nowhere, man," Geoff argued. "Did you WATCH the Aftermath show?"

Amy said nothing. She merely rejoined the masses as Chris turned to the twelve thus gathered.

"So, that's... all but the Revengers? Nice."

"Who ARE the Revengers, anyway?" asked Jasmine. "Not to play dumb, but I didn't really watch the show in my spare time, it was mostly on American and Canadian networks, as far as I know..."

"Didn't get an Aussie network with me on it?" asked Chris. "Darn shame. Anyways, first, from the outermost forests of Canada, where only flora and fauna of the most natural degree live, we bring someone who won't take our setting well... It's DAWN, everybody!"

The Moonchild was in a melancholy state as she left the transport (seeing all of the machinery), but she nonetheless greeted everyone with high standards. "Hello, everyone," she said. "Your auras are looking fine, although I do sense a few reddish spikes among you..."

"That'd be Courtney," Duncan said, smiling. "Assuming red means bad."

"It represents anger," Dawn said. "Not the most desirable trait. I hope she can calm down."

"How can I calm down," began Courtney, "when there's a ****ing crowd of morons around me?"

Duncan laughed. "YES!" he shouted. "Missy swore on live TV, in front of EVERYONE! Yes!"

Courtney opened her mouth, but realized, as Dawn had said, that calming down would be a good thing to do right now, lest she spew more insults and bad words.

"Moving on, next we have the not-so nice farmboy, Scott!"

Courtney again kept her mouth shut as the ginger exited the ship. The Devious took one look at her and said, "Hey, where's the chart?" in a mocking tone. It took all of her strength to stay quiet.

"Okay, not liking the silence," Chris said. "Let's switch gears. Come on out, Mike!"

Mike was the next one offboard. The Jack-of-All-Trades (as he was called now, with his new powers of agility, strength, and deduction) smiled over most of the crowd, albeit wincing at Heather, Alejandro, Courtney, and Scott.

"Ooh, some rough edges around here," Mike said. "But not to worry. I'd kinda hoped we'd do this again. Preferably with Zoey, though-"

Alejandro glared at Mike. "Wait, so are you saying this season is YOUR fault?"

"No!" Mike suddenly stammered. "I- I didn't mean that!"

Chris turned back to the ship. "Uh... Dakota?" he asked. "You realize most of the mutations were cured, right?"

"Gimme a sec," the Fame-Monger replied. "I'm putting in my hair dye!"

A few (long) minutes later, she got off, and the ship left. She looked pretty similar to the way she had before the toxic mutation, although she was taller- almost as tall as Jasmine. She also had a streak of green left in her platinum-blonde hair, the blonde presumably being dyed there to mask her true hair color. Lastly, her eyes were a tad reddish in comparison to the original blue.

"Hey, long time no see!" called Mike.

Dakota sighed. "At least there are a couple of familiar faces here. Too bad I don't have Sam with me."

"Wait a second," Scott said. "Wouldn't he dump you for not being a freakazoid anymore or something?"

The mutant girl turned her head. "Well, actually..."

Chris grinned wickedly. "Guys, for the record, she's still a bit unstable. Make sure not to make her mad, she's basically a She-Hulk waiting to burst."

A few contestants backed away from Dakota at this statement, but for the most part, they simply agreed.

Dave came to a few seconds later. "Nngh... Where am I?" He took one look at the crowd and began to freak out. "No... no no nooo... NOT HERE AGAIN!"

"Yes, here again," Chris responded.

Then Dave fainted again.

Alright, so, so far, so good! I have a solid cast this time. In case you lost it, here are the competitors:

Male: Geoff, Topher, Mike, Alejandro, Duncan, Scott, Max, Dave

Female: Dakota, Jasmine, Heather, Leshawna, Courtney, Dawn, Amy, Izzy

(BTW, the original actually had a gender imbalance. While Dakota, Dave, Geoff, Izzy, Leshawna, Amy and Dawn were absent from the old version, Owen, Shawn, Zoey, Cameron, Lindsay, Lightning, and Ella were there instead, although Gwen was added early on as a reward for a challenge- sweet reward, I must say).

My problem with the old cast was that it felt kind of bland. Owen was basically just an overeating stink bomb, Ella was just optimistic and nothing else, Shawn wound up being the new Ezekiel ("You'd be useless when the apocalypse hits; actually, most of this team would be zombie bait!"), Zoey was just stuck to Mike, Lindsay was normal levels of Dumb Blonde, Cameron was basically the same as every other portrayal, and Lightning... What can I say?

But over half of the core players remain, for obvious reasons. Courtney and Heather became the main struggle for power in the original, with their ex-boyfriends each backing the opposite side. Scott continued to be deceptive, and I kept Max for comic relief. Jasmine became Heather's only friend in the original, and Mike began to relapse into insanity without his PMD or being on Zoey's team (yes, they were on different teams). And Topher is Topher, but I wasn't about to steal the character development I wanted to give him.

As for the new additions, Amy's basically there to be the bossy butt of her team. I feel like the writers limited her by making her too focused on sabotaging Samey and I think she could be a great semi-villain. Dakota's there for the She-Hulk thing I've seen others doing, making her an interesting case. Geoff's here for the fun. Leshawna? I dunno, I just like her. Izzy's completely and totally unpredictable. And Dawn basically has psychic powers. Okay, maybe not, but still.

Oops, almost forgot about Dave. He's supposed to have a redemption arc, but that's kinda gonna be hard for me to pull off without Sky. Still, if I ever need cannon fodder before I try that, I guess he's worth a shot? But I still want him to realize his mistakes. Seriously, he tried to kill Sky (and consequently Shawn) and almost succeeded.

Other than that, I have nothing else to say. Review, please, and I'll see you in the next episode. PEACE OUT!