Oh no! I nearly forgot to have something to publish for May the 4th!
Last night I panic wrote this. And boy is it weird. If you're looking for my usually happy and feel good stuff, look out. This is a bit darker and ends in sadness.
Get ready for some Maul stream of consciousness.
The Man of Nothing
My name is Maul. And I will never leave this planet alive.
I wander these sands, trap set, pieces in motion. Kenobi will find Bridger soon. His compassion will be his undoing, and I will find him. I will find him and I will... I will... Kill him as I should have so many years ago.
Kill him, the voices say, the ones screaming for revenge, that paint my vision red like blood. These are the voices I have heeded for so long; they have given me the strength to endure, to survive where all others would perish. They have been my only purpose. Without them, there is no Maul.
There is another voice though; it is soft and quiet, and I do not know it. It is patient, and it is bothersome. Or perhaps I do know it. But I will not heed it. I never have and I never will. I, Maul, do not need what I know Kenobi would give me...
My name is Maul. And I will never leave this planet alive.
I was born long ago; I do not even know how old I am. I have been told that I once had another name, but I have never known it. Perhaps my mother never even told Sideous. I was given to the foul carrion bird as a child, and I do not wish to imagine the threats he made to her.
Darth Sidious nurtured me in the way that only the Dark Side could; with torture and pain and hate. I have hated that man from the moment I laid eyes on him. It was the very thing he wanted, after all. It is the way of the Sith. He shaped me into a weapon, forged in the fire like durasteel. A weapon with no volition of its own, only able to follow the will of its bearer. I was a slave.
But even as a slave, he gave me great... Power. We would rule the galaxy as Lords of the Sith, and all would kneel before us. And then one day, when the time was right, I would cut the head off the snake that I hated, and the galaxy would kneel to me. TO ME and ME alone!
But Kenobi. KENOBI. He was faster than I. After I cut his master down like an animal, Kenobi bested me. In a moment of foolish pride I was felled, and I will forever curse the name of Kenobi. I will forever curse myself that I did not kill the padawan when I had the opportunity. I am here now for Kenobi. And I know what I will do.
My name is Maul. And I will never leave this planet alive.
Abandoned. Lost. Alone. Marooned. Cursed. Hated. Alone. Anger. Terror. Fear. Alone. Damaged. Alone.
Alone.
Alone.
ALONE.
And then found. Given purpose by my mother and brother. My brother, my own blood that I subjugated as an apprentice. Curse the teachings of the Sith. Savage and I were so close, so very close to holding the galaxy and its underworld in our grasp.
And then Sideous. The true Lord of the Sith. The Lord of Betrayal and hatefulness and malice. Has he not betrayed us all? Are there none who have not been burned by the absolute depths of his depraved mind?
He killed Savage. He killed my brother, and I curse the Sith forever more.
He killed my mother.
He is the source of all my pain.
He is hated most of all. Even more than Kenobi.
But I cannot kill Sideous. He is... He is beyond me, beyond even Maul.
But I can kill Kenobi. He is here. He has saved Bridger, and now I go to him.
My name is Maul. And I will never leave this planet alive.
I thought of him through all those long years of exile, after Mandalore. And I curse that I only killed the woman, Satine. Oh, the pain in Kenobi's eyes was sweet indeed. But he escaped from my grasp when Sideous interfered. And all these long years I have dreamt of little but revenge. It is the very thing that keeps my heart beating. When at last my foe lies dead at my feet, I will die as well. There is nothing in me but revenge. My heart is filled with ashes.
And they are cold.
Or perhaps my foe will kill me, as he thought he did so long ago. Such would be a just ending to my pitiful life, and I would welcome death's sweet embrace while damning the man who dealt it.
No. No. NO. I cannot let Kenobi spill my blood, for I can not allow him the satisfaction that I know he would take in my death.
And then there is the other voice that whispers incessantly now in my ear. It says that Kenobi does not desire my death. Nay, it says that Kenobi wishes something very different for me indeed.
It is a single word, and the voice says it over and over. It knows that it is the one thing that Maul wants. The one thing that I need.
Peace. It says.
Peace. Peace. Peace.
The only thing that will bring me peace is the blood of Kenobi.
My name is Maul. And I will never leave this planet alive.
Peace. He can give you peace. Kenobi will forgive.
He will not. He is hated, and his death is the one purpose I have left in this life.
He can offer new purpose.
I do not need another purpose. I am strong. I am Maul.
You are weak. You are a shadow of a man. Nothing more.
You. Know. Nothing.
You are an empty vessel. And you will be dashed upon the sand. Broken and alone forever.
I am silent for the voice is right and the other voices have ceased their endless screaming. I know this voice. Sideous warned of it long ago. It is the Light. It is seductive and speaks lies even to the Lords of the Sith. Sideous is my enemy, but in this he was truthful. The Light is not to be trusted.
I will not heed this voice, this call of the Light. I will not turn aside, and I will kill Kenobi.
My name is Maul. And I will never leave this planet alive.
I am here. And he is here. Bridger has served his purpose; I say that I will see him soon, but this is a lie. I say it to save face before Kenobi. But I know it is a lie. And he knows it too.
I hate him. He has nothing. He is nothing. And yet even now he taunts me and says that I have nothing. NO, I have purpose. And you are that purpose, Kenobi, and I will give into all the rage and fury of all the voices I have heard and let the emptiness fill me with the hatred of all my long years and this day you will die!
But there is something else. Some other reason he is here. He protects someone? Of course. Of course. The rat in the desert still plots against the Lord of the Sith on his throne. I will have what he protects. Perhaps I will not die this day; perhaps I will take new purpose from Kenobi. I will take his purpose from him and make it my own.
There are no more words. The time has come for one of us to die, and I know that all my long years of waiting have come to this point in time. The force swirls around us like a hurricane. Fate and destiny are woven together, much like myself and this hated Jedi. Bound and inseparable. I will sever those ties and be free. I will take fate back into my own hands. I will make my own destiny, and I will rule over all for I am Maul. I. Maul. Bow to no one.
The quiet voice speaks one last time the word peace, and I know it has spoken the truth.
But I silence the voice for the last time.
My name is Maul. And I will never leave this planet alive.
I move to strike down my foe.
He is a fool. I will gut him like his master.
His blade passes through my hilt, bisecting my chest.
My name is Nothing. And I will never leave this planet alive.
I...
I do not understand.
But I do understand. For I am a fool.
And I always have been.
A raving animal, wounded, and in its death throes, a danger to itself and all around it.
I have killed thousands.
I have killed my brother.
I have killed my mother.
I have killed myself.
I fall, and Kenobi catches me; a small mercy that I do not deserve. I am done now, and yet my hated foe will not let me fall to the cold, hard sand. I cannot hate him now.
My hatred has burnt to the end and left me empty.
There is pity in his eyes. Pity even for a wretched creature like me.
I cannot hate him.
I know that this is the end; that only blackness awaits me. And yet peace was in my grasp. Rest. But there is no more time, and there is only the one thing. The only thing I have ever known. Revenge.
He will avenge us, I tell Kenobi. This last thought I hold onto, hoping that this spark of anger will keep away the dark.
It does not.
It cannot.
For my fire has burnt out at the end of all things and all my machinations have led to ruin.
I am a ruined man. I am nothing. And I return to nothing.
But here at the end at least, I am not alone.
My name is Nothing. And I will never leave this...
I hope you enjoyed this. It was a weird experience trying to get into Maul's head...
As a firm believer in redemption being a core part of the Star Wars mythos I think it's important to remember that even Maul wasn't beyond some hope, as evidenced by the sadness in Obi-wan's eyes as he killed his oldest foe.
Maul started as a cool character and turned into something utterly tragic with Dave Filoni's brilliant writing for the character and Sam Witwer's passion in bringing him new life. While we're at it lets just go ahead and credit George Lucas for the idea for the character (and insisting he be brought back in Clone Wars) and Ray Parks for acting him with an insane level of energy.
Happy May the 4th.