A/N: I am a big fan of dramatic and angst-filled fics, writing them as well as reading them.

Little Boy Lost

I knew that today was going to be bad, another win at the track without a bet, damn! Now here I am, needing to talk to a lad who found the remains of a young woman in a woodland area inside the M25.

"Gerry, come on," Sandra calls to me.

"I am," Maybe if I keep my head down and not look forward I can do it. No, I stop walking, "No," I say aloud. "I can't....I can't go in there."

Jack, Brian, Sandra and this young man, Michael Megson, who also had a scare in the woods, turn to look at me, "What are you talking about?" Sandra asks with a tone of annoyance in her voice.

"I'm....Sandra I can't go into the woods I, ah....have hylophobia."

"Something happen to you, when you were a kid?"

Brian would be the one to ask. "I don't....just leave it, alright."

"Ok," she says sweetly, "You wait here."

My heart rate is returning to normal as I walk away from the woods and back to the car. The memory of that awful day returned like a flood of water. No matter how hard I tried to push it out of my mind. I can hear the sounds of that day, the rustling of the trees, the chirping of the birds and sounds that I never want to hear again. "Think of something else." I say aloud then turn quickly hoping no one heard me. A bit of relief that no one heard but the memories once again returns.

"Alright, maybe if I remember the whole day I won't be, Jesus Christ," I run my fingers through my hair. "I'm over fifty; a former copper and I still can't face something that happened to me when I was six." My legs start to feel weak; I open the rear passenger door of the car. Yes, that helps, I need to sit. I face forward and the trees are calling to me, much like they did that day. Was someone calling to me? No, it was a deer; never saw one before being a city kid. I watched it as it drank water from the pond that was on my Mum's cousins' property. I was a little frightened of the animal, it had large antlers, I smiled at first, reindeer I thought. It finished its drink and slowly walked back into the woods and I followed it, not sure why but I did. A sound came from within the woods and it not only scared the animal it scared me, and we both started to run. I hear voices, voices from the present I look up and over the backseat, "Thank Christ, they're back, now I can get the fuck out of here."

I fulfilled my duties, as I always do, throughout the day and when Sandra suggested a drink at the pub, I couldn't drive there quick enough. Most of the conversation revolved around our latest cold case, a young woman that Professor Ian Means a Pathologist from South East London has yet to identify. Professor Means, wishes to retire and finds it hard to do until he knows for sure who she is, he has named her Millicent. With that, maybe we can bring closure to a family.

Jack, Brian and Sandra do most of the talking; I remain quiet with the memory of that day so long ago still very vivid in my mind. I resort to the only solution I can think of, getting another pint.

They ignore me physically but I know that they are all very curious as to why I behaved the way I did earlier in the day, I mean they are all detectives, nosy ones to boot.

"Come on Brian," Jack sets his empty glass on the table, "I'll drive you home."

"You're not leaving now," I check the time on my watch, "It's early, how bout a game of cricket?"

"Not tonight, I'm tired," Jack stands, "See you all in the morning."

"Goodnight," Brian uncharacteristically pats my shoulder. I look to Jack and Sandra neither one of them acknowledges the act, so I don't either.

Sandra and I sit in silence as we watch them cross the room then exit the pub.

"You can talk to me," Sandra pauses waiting for a reaction from me. "I'm a good listener."

I wave my hand in the air, "Nothing to talk about."

She leans forward as she taps my arm, "Bull shit."

"I got lost in the woods, that's all."

"I get that," she says sarcastically, I can see her bite her lip, wishing she hadn't.

I take a long cleansing breath, "All day long the sights and sounds of that day," I pick up my pint of ale and raise it to my lips. "We were visiting family and I was in the back of the house. There was a little pond on the property and a deer, it came up to the pond and started to drink. He was big," I extend my arms to show how wide he was. "Antlers and all, well I thought he was a reindeer." I can hear a snicker from her and I smile. "He finished his drink and went back into the woods, so I followed, Christ knows why." I sit back in the chair. Ok that was and is the easy part. "I, ah....I don't know how long it was but there was a noise and it scared the piss out of me and the deer. The deer started to run and so did I." I need a drink my throat is getting dry. I take a long sip of ale and gently place it on the table. She is watching me and when she catches my eye, she lowers her head. "I ran as fast as I could, unfortunately at the time I didn't know that I was running away from the house....I was running toward the sound."

"What was the sound?" She asks softly.

"I don't know, I never heard a sound like that before and then I tripped over something and it scared me," I say unemotionally. As I lower my head, I can see that inquisitive look on her face that she has shown many times before.

"What did you trip over Gerry?"

I shake my head not wanting to remember or to stir up the cobwebs that have invaded my brain. I don't want to talk about this anymore, "No one in my family, well," I finish the remainder of ale from my third pint in one long gulp. "They never, they never wanted to talk about it and as you can see they found me, ah, shit it was a long time ago," I stand pointing to her half empty glass, "Want another?"

"No," she shakes her head. "Not yet, thanks." I can feel her watching me as I make my way through the crowd and up to the bar. What does she see? I wonder. Does she see a man in his fifties, three times married and divorced, no from the look on her face she is looking at a little lost boy. As I make my way through the crowd of people, I can see her turn her gaze away from me.

I return to my seat and she taps my arm, "I'm still listening."

I purposely take short sips of ale hoping that she will change the subject, but I know better. I set the glass down, "For the longest time," I say and she spills her drink from her startled reaction. "I never knew what it was that I tripped over out there, but after thinking about this bloody thing all Goddamn day," I rub my eyes trying very hard to hide the tears that are developing, "Maybe it's the booze talking?" I say to lighten the subject.

"What was it Gerry?" she places her hand on my forearm, "What did you trip over?"

"The face, I can see his face. His eyes were open and he was staring up at the sky, I'm sure he was dead but I....I mean I was only six."

"He? Who was he, tell me," she says sternly but sweetly.

"A boy it was a boy, my God," I lower my head as I rub my forehead trying to erase the memory.

Sandra grabs my hand, "No don't brush it away, you have to remember."

"He looked pale but there was blood and his clothes were torn," I lift my bow downed head, "That was the noise that I heard; it was him, he was screaming. That was what made the deer run."

"Did they find the boy when they were looking for you?"

I shrugs his shoulders, "I….I don't know."

"Your parents were most likely frightened that it could have been you," she places her hand on my shoulder. "Odds are they found him first." With a little nudge from her I lean forward, the embrace is comforting and much needed. I smile, not only for the show of affection from this woman who loves to call me a tosser, but for knowing that if anyone needed a hug at this moment it was me.

The Next Morning

"His name was Scott Carpenter."

I frown at the unfamiliarity of the name.

"What?" Jack asks.

"Whose name was Scott Carpenter?" Brian asks.

Sandra does not acknowledge Jack or Brians' question her focus is on me. I stand and have to steady myself, not as young as I use to be and the six pints last night is taking its toll, "You had no right, Sandra."

"It's an unsolved homicide Gerry."

….That is all for now….