Something I put together the morning after my exams-just cause I could and I finally had the time to.

I've always been interested in how Mai was feeling around the time Valon found her, and the kind of love-hate relationship she would have had with Joey at this time. I've kinda hinted at that in here.

NOT a Mai/Valon fic. Mai belongs with Joey, not him!

Anyway, read and enjoy!

There was darkness. I couldn't see anything but the purple and black swirling mass. Light pierced through the shadows, but this was not the kind of light I wanted to be anywhere near. The shape of the millennium eye appeared, then the rest of the rod and finally the man himself. I was shaking. I hated it that he could make me so afraid; I hated myself that I could be so afraid.

'I told you, you don't belong in this world so I'm sending you to the shadows where you'll spend all eternity.'

I tried pleading with him, but it only works when a man has a heart-this half of the man never had one.

Then I was trapped in an hourglass, and sand was raining down. No I can't! I shoved the glass with all the strength I had-which by this point wasn't much. I can't lose everything again! But I was.

Two figures formed underneath me; Joey and Yugi. But they were walking in the wrong direction; away from me.

'C'mon Yuge, we got a tournament to win.'

'Guys I it's me! I'm trapped! Get me out!' Tears were pouring down my face, but no matter how hard I screamed, they didn't hear me.

The sheets were tangled around me, and I was drenched in sweat as I bolted upright in my bed. I had up my hands to the cold city light that filtered through the blinds-they were shaking as much as the juddering breaths I took.

I flung my sheets off and scrambled out of bed as quickly as I could. Every night it was the same dream. I was weak, I knew it. And no-one was there to help me.

When had there ever been? I lived my life alone. And the friends I thought I had? Well, that had been a temporary thing. They had never contacted me since Battle city, not even once. Not even him.

I ignored the little voice inside me that said it was my fault too; I was the one who travelled so much and had behaved so coldly at times to them.

The air was stifling inside my hotel room. Suddenly I had to get out. Out of this apartment and, though it wasn't possible unless I killed myself; out of this life. It didn't matter that it was raining outside, or that all I'd pulled on besides what I was sleeping in-my purple mini-skirt and white camisole-was a pair of boots and for some reason, my duel disk. It didn't matter anymore that I realised I was trying to run away from everything; especially from my time trapped in the shadows and my feelings for the person who had put his own life in danger to protect me. It didn't matter that I hadn't cried in years excluding the tears that welled up sometimes, but never fell.

I was out in the rain, dripping wet even though I was under an eve and this time the tears that came to my eyes fell-but only one.

'I quit.' I told the dark sky. I was fed up with all of it; the duelling, winning and never feeling good about it anymore, the running and the living in a world that never seemed to light up anymore. 'I'm never gonna get what I deserve anyway.' That was-another life, another chance from the one I'd had snatched from me as a child. I should have given up then, I decided. It would have saved the worst heartache, and 

it would have saved my hopes for the future rising so high only to have myself fall further than I ever have before.

Damn you Joey Wheeler! Damn you for what you did to me!

There were lights then, but the harsh, artificial kind. And a voice.

'Hey I know you, you're Mai Valentine.'

'Who wants to know?' My voice held more than a little anger as I pushed myself off the wall I'd been leaning against for support. Not only was he sounding extremely cocky and all I was dressed in was a tight top and short skirt, but he'd seen me at my lowest and weakest-seen me as someone I was sure only I was allowed to see.

'You're next duelling opponent.'

He wanted a duel?! Now of all times?!

'So what's it gonna be? Try your duelling skills against me, or stand out in the rain feeling sorry for yourself?'

We duelled, I lost-Despite everything, I never lost anymore! It was the final straw. My world, held together by strings, crumpled the minute he attacked my Harpies.

I had no-one to go and no-one to turn to. So when he gave me an escape route, I took it. When he told me to stop hoping-and though I hadn't admitted it to anyone, least of all myself, I was. Oh, I was-that my friends would come to my rescue, I trusted him.

And when he held out his hand to me, I put mine in it.

Worst mistake of my life.

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