June 20th, 2013
To the reader: hi! My name is Janice Palmer-Carlsberg, and I am writing this journal to not only chronicle my thoughts, but the strange (yet totally awesome) happenings of where I live: Night Vale. I got the idea from my Uncle Cecil's boyfriend, Carlos, who's a scientist studying all the "paranormal activity" in town. I guess it's kinda paranormal, but not in a bad way. We're just a special community! At least, that's what Uncle Cecil says on the radio.
They came over last night for dinner. My stepdad (who I just call Dad) decided that, since Uncle Carlos nearly died thanks to a small, yet oddly vicious tiny army living beneath lane 5 of the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, he should get to know him. Dad made lasagna and I helped! It was really good, probably because I swapped out the Parmesan container with the Alfredo when Dad wasn't looking. I don't get why he uses Parmesan, it not even that good. Anyway, Uncle Cecil and Uncle Carlos came for dinner at eight. My bedtime is 7:45, cause I'm ten (even though 7:45 is a completely unreasonable bedtime, as I have repeatedly told my parents!) so I got to stay up late!
For some reason Uncle Carlos was still wearing lab coat. I don't know why, maybe it's a scientist thing? Uncle Cecil was staring daggers at Dad for almost the entire dinner. I don't know the reason for that either. Maybe it's because of something I didn't see? Adults are weird.
So Uncle Carlos was looking for a distraction from the silent war going on across the dinner table and asked me about school. I told him it was good, but kinda pointless seeing as I already knew pretty much everything I was being taught. The teachers have been talking about moving me up a grade, probably because I'm what Dad calls, " intellectually gifted". I think that just means I'm really smart. Anyway, I told him that and he said, "Oh". Then he didn't say anything for a couple of seconds. Then, he asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. It kinda came out of nowhere, but luckily, I've been thinking about this for a long time. I told him I want to be an inventor. I want to make cool stuff that helps people, like a device that can instantly peel any fruit! I'm pretty sure John Peters, you know, the farmer? would like that one. Then I showed Uncle Carlos the boosters I installed on my wheelchair to make it go faster, and so I wouldn't have to rely on people to push me around. He actually seemed pretty impressed! Then I told him about some of my other projects, and he told me about the tests he'd run on the fake bloodstones circulating around. It was awesome! I've told adults about my projects before, but that thought I was just "darling" and "cute" They never even took me seriously, but Uncle Carlos does! Maybe because he's a scientist. And guess what? he told me that I'm already an inventor, which is a kind of scientist, and invited me to his lab the next day! I was super excited.
After dinner finished and Dad did some of his impressions (which were terrible) I went to bed really excited about the next day.
I dropped by Uncle Carlos's lab around 11. He was mixing some stuff in a beaker, which looks a lot like the stuff that occasionally drips from Uncle Cecil's tentacles. The ones that come out when he's really mad. Uncle Carlos put some acid in the beaker, and there was a huge explosion! Luckily, he was wearing goggles and I was out of the way. I helped him in the lab for a couple of hours, and we figured out that Uncle Cecil's tentacles' secretion (that's what Uncle Carlos called them) turn lavender and corrosive when mixed with salt. It was really neat! Before I left, Uncle Carlos gave me this journal. He said that a scientist needs to write her discoveries down, and a young age was the best time for humans to develop habits.
So here I am! I plan to write down my findings as often as I can. Maybe I'll unknowingly collect clues to a big mystery and defeat the forces of evil, like in my favorite municipally approved book series: Bella Becker's Detective Diary! Or not. I dunno. I'm not really sure about a lot of things, like why all the interns at the radio station keep mysteriously disappearing or dying, or why socks get lost in the dryer. Maybe, one day, I'll find out. Until next time Journal!