Chapter 6 the Virus
Kathryn became part of the ship's life again. The crew seemed to accept the change in command well, she thought. They still function well together.
"If I can't command her anymore, Voyager will still be a proud Starfleet ship and we'll get home no matter who is in the big chair"
She smiled inwardly. "Now I just have to inform the Commander of his permanent position and arrange with Neelix an appropriate celebration".
As she powered her chair to her quarters after today's therapy session, she thought a better position for her would be a science officer; that's what she did on the Albatani before she was promoted to Captain and given her Voyager assignment." I could do this," she thought. "I'll clear my things out of the ready room so Chakotay can set it up his way. I'll get Neelix to help so I don't have to drag the senior staff into it. I'll make this work". Was she trying to convince herself, or talk herself out of it?
That night after his shift, Chakotay came into her quarters to have their usual meal and discuss the day's business. He was surprised by the boxes in the corner.
"Are you moving?" he inquired with that dimpled look she loved.
"Actually, yes. I've moved my personal effects out of the ready room. Well, Neelix did the work, I just told him what to pack and where to put it. I thought it was time that you moved in there. The Captain needs to work in private and it's time we faced facts. I've reached a plateau Chakotay. The doctor doesn't foresee me getting any more function back than what I have reached now. I can't captain a ship like this. I'm ready to hand the ship over to you on a full time basis."
"Kathryn, you're not serious! You can still be the captain."
"I'm very serious. The crew needs to see you as the Captain, not a temporary replacement. I don't want them second guessing anything you say, or deferring to what I might do in any given situation. That's why I'm taking a position in the Science lab. I have experience in that field and that will free up Mulcahy to work in Astrometrics with Seven, or in another department of his choosing. You and I both know he's hated being down there ever since the Borg baby incident."
"Kathryn, I can't take your position, you can still do your duties to this ship from a hover chair."
"Chakotay, during a crisis, I can't move from station to station as emergent matters arise. I can't crawl through Jeffries tubes to assess or fix an immediate problem. A captain has to be able to jump in where ever the need is, delegating is just part of it. When I was able bodied, I could do any job on this ship. Well, almost any job. I could work in the kitchen very well now could I?"
With that said, she smiled a bit and grabbed Chakotay's hands. "I've made my decision. I've prepared my letter to the Admiralty for our next transmission. I've already made the preparation with Neelix for the ceremony. All you need to do is get your dress uniform ready, and get your things together. Your moving in the morning."
Chakotay could see the determination in her eyes and thought it was better to give in for now. He knew better than to fight her when her mind was made up. He'd just talk it over with Tuvok and decide the best course of action.
"Thank you all for your wonderful support during my illness. It is with deep regret that I am relinquishing my command of this wonderful ship and her more wonderful crew", Kathryn began at the promotion ceremony. "I feel I am unable to perform my duties to the best of my ability so from this moment on Commander Chakotay will be given the rank of Captain and permanently replace me as Commanding officer of this ship. Captain Chakotay, if you will come forward to receive your pips."
As he proceeded to the dais to a rounding cheer, he thought to himself "this is not over Kathryn. This ship and it's crew are yours, I'll somehow make you see that."
With tears threatening to fall, Kathryn pinned the pips on his collar and motioned for him to say a few words.
"Thank you all for your support these last few weeks and for whatever our future holds. We are in a unique situation, away from Starfleet yet living by their standards and principles. We are exploring areas no one could imagine and we're doing it together, as a family. I'm considering this command an extension of Kathryn Janeway and she will continue as an active senior officer, a commanding consultant, and a positive example. Join me in continuing to follow her guidance and spirit as we go forth together as the crew of Voyager."
To a resounding applause with cheers and handshakes, Captain Chakotay assumed the command of Voyager but remained determined to rectify the situation.
Later on that evening, after Chakotay inspected each department and received numerous good wishes from the crew who were on duty during the ceremony, he sat down to contemplate the day's events. His 1st concern was her well-being. He would always consider himself her protector, he meant it when he said he would stay by her side, her needs would always come 1st. He needed to see how she was doing.
Knowing she was probably still awake, hoping she was alone, he rang the chime to her quarters. After the second chime he asked the computer "locate Captain Janeway". The response "Captain Janeway is in her quarters" caused him to reconsider ringing a third time for fear of waking her. Surprised he started for his door when hers opened. Entering he looked around and saw her staring out the view port. She was sitting in a robe with lights at 25% illumination.
"Kathryn, are you alright? May I come in?"
"Of course, I was just pondering fate."
"Come to any conclusions?"
"Some"
"Care to fill me in?"
"I don't know just yet. I'm still pondering. What do you have on your mind or is this just a friendly visit?"
"I came to see how you're doing."
With that those tears were welling up again and she couldn't stop their descent any longer. Seeing her break down he immediately gathered her into his arms. Allowing her the time to let her emotions out, he felt her arms envelope his. He realized she was actually wrapping her arms around him. She just stayed that way while she gathered her self together, took a deep breath, and then spoke, all the while keeping her head on his chest, turned to his arm.
"Chakotay, I know it was the right thing to do. I can't keep hiding behind the captain's mask hoping to get completely better again. That's not going to happen so I've accepted it.. But I can't hide my feelings any longer. You looked so good today and I thought that I could spend the rest of my life with you by my side in a different capacity, a more personal one, but I can't do that to you. I'm not saddling you with my problems. I don't feel whole. I don't feel...
"Stop! Kathryn, I feel so complete with you. I'm not attracted to you because of your legs; though you're legs are still incredibly sexy whether they're in a brace or peeking out under a beautiful dress. You are still the most beautiful person whether you're sitting, standing, or lying down. I want to be with you with all your problems. Nothing is so bad that we can't work around them together.
"Oh Chakotay, thank you for all you've done to help me. I don't know what I would have done without you."
"There is one thing you've done without me and I want to fix that right now."
"What is that?"
"You've lived your private life alone. You've never let me into your heart on an intimate level. You have given up so much for the sake of the crew you've shortchanged yourself."
"I guess I don't have to worry about protocols anymore do I?"
"Well, since we are of equal rank, Captain, I say we both leave our pips at the door and find out just what we don't know about each other. What do you say?
"Well, since I've already removed my pips, and my uniform as well, let's get you more comfortable, shall we?"
With that he removed his jacket, and through the rest of the night, everything else. They shared with each other in a way that was an exploration for both of them. He literally swept her off her feet and brought her to new peeks. She found in him a feeling of utter peace and tranquility. Her body felt more alive. Her legs may have limits but no other parts did.