A Father
By Crimson Kaleidoscopes
A/N: This is my second attempt at a fanfic. Please be kind on it. Constructive criticism is more than welcomed.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Summary: He was after all, my father. One shot
A father is supposed to be someone you could look up to.
He wonders what his father was like. He would ask himself if his father was someone who had high status, someone who was greatly respected. He questions if his father was a ninja, he wanted to know if his father was just a normal civilian.
He wonders if his father had died in the Kyuubi attack. He wanted to know if his father had abandoned him in this hellhole called Konoha; where people hated him, where mobs are formed in an attempt to end his life, where assassins are sent to murder him. He wants to know the answers to his questions badly, but he knows, he knows that there would be no one who is able to answer him. After all, his father might have been someone who had committed a crime against the village, and turned into a missing nin. Who knows, his father might have been exiled from the village. Who knows?
He wonders if his father was an honorable man. Was his father a man of his word? Or was his father someone who just enjoyed drinking sake and gambling all his money away. He wonders… if his father was someone who he could look up too.
A father is someone who is supposed to be there for you.
Sometimes, he hated his father for leaving him behind. He didn't care if his father was a missing nin and that he had to lead a hard life, he didn't care if his father was exiled and if he was taken with him, he could never enter Fire Country ever again. He just wished that his father had taken him with him along his journeys. At least that way, he would not be so lonely. At least, he would not have to bear with the hatred, the anger of the village. At least, he did not have to deal with the cold stares filled with disgust, the shopkeepers constantly throwing him out of their stores, the children being pulled away from him by angry parents when he tried to befriend them.
Sometimes, he hated his father for not being there for him.
A father was someone who would guide you through your life; he is the one who would help you through dark times.
He often wondered what his father would do if he learnt that he had failed to do the clone technique. He would ask himself if his father would be able to correct him on this particular technique that was going him so much trouble. He wonders… he wonders…
He wonders what his father might have said about his horrible hand to hand combat. If his father was a ninja, he wonders if he had his own hand to hand combat style that was meant to pass on to him. He wonders if the style relied on speed, or did the style rely on strength? Maybe, the style was very graceful, just like a dancer dancing.
He wonders what would his father have said when he first failed the genin graduating exam. He really wanted to know what his father would have said. Would he smile at him and tell him that he could try again next year? Or would be look at him in disappointment? What would he have done? He desperately wanted to know.
He frequently wonders if his father was still around, what would happen to all those people who constantly form mobs and beat him. What would happen to all those bullies that made his life a total misery? Would the hospital staff treat his injuries properly? Would the medics stop trying to kill him when he is injured? He wonders if his father would defend him against all those villagers, he wonders if his father would tell the bullies off, he wonders if the medics would treat him nicely, not trying to kill him, not trying their best not to treat his wounds. He wonders… he wonders…
A father is not supposed to be someone who would be willing to betray you.
Imagine his shock when he found out that his idol, the 4th Hokage, was the one who caused him all this misery. All the beatings, the insults, the overcharging… everything that has made his life a living hell. His very own father was the very cause of all his sufferings. His father chose the village over him. His father, the very man that took away all chances of him having a perfectly normal childhood. Not a childhood filled with pain, not a childhood where he experienced more hatred, anger and pain than most would during their lifetime. His very own father took away all chances of him having happiness away from him. It took him three days just to snap out of his shock.
He was angry, very angry. How could his father do this to him? How could his father do this to his very own son? How could his father, after causing him to live in eternal hell just leave him alone by dying? He knew that the seal that his father had placed on him would cause him his life. But he did not care. All he knew was that his father, his very own father had caused him all his trouble. His father had better be glad that he was already dead. If he was not, he would be the one who would send him straight to meet the Shinigami. In fact, he had a half mind to revive his father just so he could have the pleasure of ripping him into pieces and causing him to feel all the pain he felt during his life. So that he could give his father a payback. Just so he could take out all his anger, all his sadness, all his loneliness on him. He knew he could not take it out on any other human beings, sure he could take it out through training, but he wanted to hear the screams, the pleading for him to stop, the whimpers every time he hit a human.
He was confused about the concept of the word "family". He would ask himself if the families described in the books are fake. Are they nothing more than lies to cheer the children up? Are the books there to paint an illusion of a family? If the books were true, then why had his father decided to curse him to eternal hell? He could not understand, he could not comprehend his father's actions. All he knew was that his father betrayed him in the highest order in his book.
When his anger had been finally spent, he began to reflect. He tried to look at things from his father's point of view. He reflected on why his father had chosen the village over him. In a small corner of his mind, did the answer surfaced. He knew that his father was the Hokage, the protector of the village. He had to make a choice. He knew that his father had to make a choice. It was either having Konoha totally out of existence, or having his very own son hold the great beast Kyuubi at bay. He supposed, as the defender of the village, he has to choose Konoha over him.
Every night, he would gaze upon the night sky that would be dotted by twinkling stars. Every night without fail, he would look at the stars, wondering, always wondering how different his life would have been if he had his father around, how different his life would have been if his father had not left him alone in this eternal hell named Konoha, he wondered if he could ever forgive his father for cursing him to lead a life full of sadness, never knowing the true meaning of happiness, always living behind a mask of perpetual joy. However he knows one thing and it would always be the last thought that would be on his mind behind he enters the realm where dreams takes place.
He was after all, my father. No matter what he has done to me, he is my father; nothing in the world could change that.