Shape of my Heart

Author:me Rating: pg-13 Pairing: Willow/Angel Summary: After thinking she was dead, Angel decides to pay a certain Red Headed Witch Spoiler: After the ep of S3, Doppelgangland Note: Angel's soul is permanent. He and Buffy didn't get back together and Buffy is with Oz. Also, comments are love J

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Willow thought over and over again what if she and Xander were turned if the Master had risen and where everyone would be; her family, her friends, even Cordelia who still hadn't forgiven her for what she and Xander did. But the one she couldn't put her finger on was Angel, thinking of what would've happened to him if Buffy never came to Sunnydale. Would he be a part of the Order of Aurelius or would the Master have killed him? She couldn't help but wondering that. Ever since he came back, he'd seemed so distant from her; he wouldn't look at her or talk to her for a reason she couldn't think of. Had she done something wrong to hurt him? Was she wrong to give him his soul back even though he was no longer with Buffy?

Her heart still hadn't healed from when Oz had ended their relationship after seeing her with Xander who wasn't speaking to her due to Cordelia breaking up with him until the other night when he and the others realized she wasn't a vampire. When they were sending her vampish side back, she couldn't help but look at him to notice he was looking right back at her. But why?

She knew that she could keep thinking over and over again, only to make her head hurt and decided that maybe it wasn't worth finding out for the rest of the evening and could save the thinking for another day as she got up from bed, changing into a night shirt and headed back to her bed, shutting off the light.

He stood in the dark outside of the double french doors, watching her before the light went off. He'd contemplated whether or not if it was a good or bad idea to come here and see her after thinking that he'd lost her, but he didn't care. Not this time. He knew that Buffy could see it and he even knew that Giles could see it when they first met; he wanted Willow and only Willow, more than anything in the world.

He at first couldn't see her, not after what he'd done as Angelus. He knew that Jenny was her friend even though the others had turned against her when they found out who she really was when he'd lost his soul after being with the Slayer. He knew how forgiving Willow was, but he couldn't look at her or face her after everything he'd done to her friends when he believed she should hate him instead of forgive him. It hadn't taken much for him to hear about her break up with Oz after she'd been caught kissing Xander and he just knew that she was no longer with the Werewolf when he would hear her crying when no one was around when she was all alone in her house.

He knew that he had to face her sometime as long as he was in Sunnydale and had decided to go to the Bronze to see her where he was horrified when he believed she was dead. He still remembered his unbeating heart breaking when he saw her that way, never wanting that fate for her. She deserved better than to be what he was; to have a normal life, be married and have children. Thankfully when he reached the library, relief washed over him when he realized she was alive and the Vampire Willow he saw was from another reality that as they were sending back, he couldn't help but look at her to make sure the alter ego was soon to be gone but to also just look at her only to be caught by Willow which he wasn't embarrassed about. Maybe he wanted her to know that he was looking at her this time; to accept her forgiveness even though he believed he didn't deserve it.

Getting back home during the day, he couldn't stop thinking about her; her smile, her beautiful eyes, the red of her hair that reminded him of the fire inside her, and decided that he could no longer keep his feelings for her a secret anymore and he wasn't going to let anything stop him this time as he waited for the day to end so he could see her. Once he was able to go, he just went straight for her house and waited until he could work up the nerve to talk to her.

Once the light had been turned off, he knew it was time to do what he came to do and gently knocked on one of the double doors. Just as she was about to close her eyes to sleep the night away, Willow gasped and pulled her covers up to her chin when she realized it was Angel.

"Angel?" Willow asked.

"Can I come in?" He asked, standing at her doorway.

"Yes." Willow answered, not thinking there was no need to think about it since she was the one who'd given him his soul back.

Angel entered her bedroom, looking down at the floor as he inhaled her scent, trying to stay focused on what he was there to do. He looked at her to see the worry, yet curiousness in her face while holding her covers all the way to her chin.

"Angel are you okay?" Willow asked, concern in her voice.

"I don't know. Are u okay?" Angel asked her.

Willow lowered the covers as she left the bed, slowly approaching him. She wasn't scared for herself, but she was scared for him.

"Angel, please tell me what's wrong. Is it because of my sort of gay Vampie self? Cause it wasn't really me, it wasn't real. Okay it was real, but" She babbled.

As she continued to babble, Angel brought up the courage to do what he came to do and approached her quickly and took her face in his hands, placing a passionate kiss on her lips he'd been dying to kiss since the first time they met. Willow was stopped babbling when she realized not only were another pair of lips were against hers, but they were Angel's, something she never thought would happen. She felt her knees go weak as she opened her mouth, granting him access and moaned as she kissed him back while he wrapped his arms around her.

Oz nor Xander ever kissed her like this and she didn't want it to end until she needed to breathe, having to break the insatiable kiss in order to breathe. She looked into his chocolate brown eyes as he looked into hers to ask until she could see it as clear as day; he loved her. She wasn't a fool and she couldn't deny she loved him too.

"I don't know why I waited so long to do that." Angel stated.

"The others have to know." Willow stated.

"I know." Angel said.

"There can't be any secrets." Willow stated again.

"There won't be, not with us."

Before Willow could say anything else, he kissed her again as he continued to hold onto her, intent on never letting her go unless she asked him too.

"As long as I'm with you, that's all that matters to me now. I won't lose you. Ever." Angel stated, seriousness in his voice.

"You won't." Willow stated.

Not wanting to waste another minute, Willow kissed him as Angel kissed her back who hoistered her up for her to wrap her legs around his waist as he took her back to her bed and turned off the lamp on her nightstand.

END