NOTES:

So this is my first fic for this pairing (I love these two so much omg), and I plan on writing another one with a much tighter plot and better grasp on the personalities of the characters. This was more self-indulgent than anything lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

There were many words that people had used to describe the enigma that was AJ Lee. They would usually range from terrible words such as "psychotic" or "crazy" - words she felt didn't entirely define her, but they were directed towards her nonetheless. The people who described her as such put her on one extreme of the scale that was her personality; yet, on the other hand, others would use the words "sweet" and "naive" that would set her on the other extreme.

Either she was childlike, or beyond being understood and it made her two-dimensional.

Surprisingly, at this moment, AJ Lee had never felt so hurt and furious at the same time. She was on the cusp of either side and no one could have anticipated it.

They weren't paying attention to her, and she couldn't even think straight because of how much they did not care. Circling the ring, her eyes centered on both men that had hurt her who were now hurting each other - CM Punk and Daniel Bryan.

She didn't have the slightest idea on how else to get their attention. She tried skipping around the ring, hoping that a bouncing girl would catch their eyes; she went onto the mat, staying on the other side of the ropes and watched the match up close in hopes that they would look up and see her, but to no avail. The referee even tried to keep her on the other side so she wouldn't interrupt the men, and it just made her incredibly frustrated.

As her fingers trailed on the side of the floor of the ring, she allowed her eyes to flicker to the ring post on the left side of her. Suddenly, her mind lit up with an idea as ridiculous as her persona:

She was going to throw herself from the top of the posts.

AJ knew that it would make a huge bang, but was it really good enough for her? Sure, jumping from the ring was dramatic, but was that really all that she could do?The answer came to her mind, swift and succinct: no. That wasn't enough for her. Plus, she was feeling just a bit vindictive towards the two men.

A little clumsily, she made her way to the side of the ring and shuffled out one of the tables stored beneath it. She could hear the commentators' words buzzing around her like flies around food, but she ignored them as best as she could; she had to stay focused on the task at hand.

She would be lying to herself if she said that she wasn't afraid. Afraid that her plan wouldn't work, or something would happen before she could accomplish it, but most of all, she was afraid that they were beyond caring for her that she would fall and they wouldn't even bat an eyelash. Shaking her head, she finished setting the table onto the ground and slowly crawled around and onto the ropes. She could hear the crowd and the commentators losing control over the fact that she had decided to throw herself from the tallest ropes onto a table, and no one was stopping her.

Good, she thought. I need them to look at what I'm about to do and get here too late.

Later she would admit that her train of thought was extremely sadistic, but at that moment it didn't matter to her. Daniel was pushing her away, and she couldn't help but still have a place in her heart for him, and Punk was completely ignoring her which hurt even more.

Her brows furrowed and her mouth trembled in fear as she looked down at the table, feeling her knees buckling at the thought of jumping. Just as she began to climb to the topmost rope, Daniel appeared in front of her, still sweaty and bruised from the match she had interrupted. He held both hands in front of him as if he could catch her if she fell or jumped.

"Don't jump, AJ! Please, don't jump," He shouted, his low tenor still being able to ring out over the crowd. She could feel his blue eyes trying to focus on hers, but she refused to give him the satisfaction.

She could feel her eyes shimmering, wanting to yell at him to get away. Why was it that now when she had put herself in danger, he had the slightest notion to care for her? He had done nothing but berate her actions, and even though she would still care for him, she wouldn't listen to him now.

"AJ, I'm telling you don't jump! Come down, AJ." Daniel was now pleading and he wanted to get closer to her, but was afraid that any sudden movement would prompt her to jump. He could feel his heart skipping in sheer terror.

AJ didn't reply, her eyes still entirely focused on the table and her own thoughts. Since she was concentrating on herself, she didn't notice when CM Punk quickly made his way from the mat over to her on the other side of the ropes. His hand grasped her forearm, squeezing it in hopes that she would center herself on him.

She hadn't looked him in the eyes for weeks because he always seemed to avoid her gaze. Over time, she thought he was disgusted with her - that for some unexplainable reason he could not look at her without feeling repulsed by her very presence, and it made her sick with unease. AJ tried to remain cheerful but when he couldn't even look at her, it became extremely difficult.

But now, looking into his eyes that never failed to remind her of moss on a warm log, she could feel herself forgiving him and hating herself. This man could never hurt her; his eyes creased with worry, the pads of his thumbs pressing gently onto her arm could never hate her, but she wouldn't blame him if he did.

The minute he saw Bryan slip out of the ring with shouts of telling her not to jump, CM Punk had tried to gather himself up and stop her from whatever the hell she was about to do, but the kick he had received earlier was still moving throughout his body. He had attempted to shift over to the other side to try and see what was going on, and he had found his eyes wandering up from the mat, to the ropes that were cradling AJ's feet, all the way to her face - he could see the determination and fear in her eyes and he didn't doubt for one minute that she would jump if no one physically stopped her.

Gritting his teeth, he jumped up from where he was and dashed over to where she stood, pensive about something that he couldn't decipher. He knew that he caught her off guard when her eyes lit up in surprise - a huge difference from how murky they looked earlier - and her brown ones searched his. Her eyebrows were knitted together in confusion and hurt, and he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"AJ, what the hell are you doing?" He whispered anxiously.

She couldn't formulate a proper response and just stared at him, trying to figure out why he was here now, even though he had shown her nothing but indifference for the past few weeks. Any kind of reason for his presence AJ could quickly think of was immediately shut down by the self loathing part of herself:

Maybe he cares- if he really did, he would've shown it a long time ago.

Does he really love me- he's denied her time and time again.

Maybe now it's different- guys don't have the capability to be different. To change.

Her doe eyes were incredibly downcast, and Punk had to fight the urge to caress her cheek on national television. For some reason, seeing her sad made him incredibly protective. Like some sort of knight in shining armor.

"What's going on? AJ, is there anything I can do to help? This isn't the way solve your problems," Punk said in a low voice. He knew that speaking to her right now would be a monologue, since she seemed beyond any sort of response. But that didn't stop him from wanting to talk to her; to reach out to her.

AJ's hand twitched on the pole.

"Please, talk to me! Don't hurt yourself. If you do, I could never forgive myself - "

Before he could finish his train of thought, AJ's hand grasped the back of his neck and she pulled him in for a kiss. It looked aggressive, but there was a certain tenderness between her lip glossed mouth and his rough lips that left Punk reeling. He could smell her on him - wildflowers.

When she pulled back, her internal switch went off again as her mouth curved into a smile. With as much force as she could manage, AJ pushed CM Punk off of the ropes, onto Daniel Bryan, and through the table she had set up. The smug look on her face as she chanted 'yes' made it look as if that was her plan all along, but she knew better. She knew herself more than anyone else.

When she finished her chanting, the crowd mirroring her yelling enthusiastically, she leapt off of the ropes and began to skip away. Sparing a glance to the two distressed men, she allowed a flicker of guilt pass over her face before she quickly hid it. She had to keep up her façade.

Once she was backstage, she quickly walked to her dressing room and clasped her face in between her hands. She refused to look at anyone whose eyes would inevitably be staring at the girl that had just driven two men through a table, their eyes a mixture of respect, fear, and disgust. AJ also didn't want to think about what was going through their heads, what kind of judgements they had specifically towards her, so she simply kept her head down. She didn't want to think about anything.

When she shut the door, she let out a huge sigh of frustration and leaned her forehead against the door. It felt incredible to force them to feel the same pain that she had suffered from them, or at least, as physical as she could get them to feel it. But she couldn't help but also sense a terrible churning in her stomach. As if what she had done would have consequences that she wouldn't be able to handle. AJ already had enough to deal with; the unpredictability of her mood swings, her own rivalry with the Bella Twins, the WWE breathing down her back - she wasn't sure how much more she could take.

Looking up and straight ahead at the door she was leaning against, she thought back to how she became the "crazy chick" everyone seemed to admire. It wasn't that she became a person who's switch could flicker on and off because she wanted to. Or rather, it happened because her mind wanted to protect her when her heart couldn't.

Mechanically, AJ sat on one of the couches, her eyes looking ahead without really seeing anything.