A/N Hello!, This is an idea I've toying with it for a while after I saw a post on tumblr about a hundred of things a person can say to another without actually saying "I love you" but with the same meaning. The link for the post doesn't work anymore but fortunately I saved the 100 things and so I started writing them. I plan to post batteries of five to ten during the following days on my own tumblr and later on posting them you like it!

Disclaimer: Nope, they aren't mine

Beginnings

1.- "Pull over. Let me drive for awhile."

The words are whispered, the voice broken and jagged because of the cries she had tried to dismiss a few hours back. Emma hasn't exactly let anyone drive her car before and the logical reaction from her part, the first word that comes to her, is a "no" that gets lost somewhere inside her throat because Regina is looking at her with understanding eyes, eyes that shouldn't been piercing at her because she is already hurting because of Robin and nightmares and many other things that Emma can't really understand.

But when Regina asks her again and Emma still feels the inner turmoil inside of her, swirling, asking for something she can't comprehend and Lily's name flashes behind her eyelids she nods, a quiet, minute "Yes" and "Thank you" filling the car, the tears she had been trying to hide choking the words as Regina nods at her side.

And yes, they are not perfect but Regina asked for her help and they need to find Robin and Lily and just find answers instead of more questions so it really doesn't matter who drives the old, yellow car. Only that now that she isn't the one who does it anymore she can cry herself to sleep. Even if she doesn't exactly cry because she still can't do it in front of someone like Regina. But it doesn't matter because Regina just nods and starts driving, her eyes glued on the road and her lips humming a soft song that makes Emma sigh and, finally, fell in a quiet bliss.

2. "It reminded me of you."

They are in the middle of the road, back to Storybrooke with what looks like another problem on their car and her sister too close to her for her liking and Regina really wants to close her eyes and be able to use magic because she just can't be strong enough anymore. Not with Robin, not with Lily not with anyone.

But she looks at her right where the blonde is looking at her and Lily is glancing between the two of them from the backseat and Regina can see her searching eyes, eyes that reminds her too much of Maleficent to be comfortable with, in the reflection of the rearview mirror and she just smiles and takes the little figurine of what looks to be an apple and even if it's a really bad joke she smiles. Emma is biting her bottom lip while she does it and for a second Regina feels that she can actually breath and just be able to focus on something else apart of Robin and Zelena and Marian and many other things that whisper to her what she can and can't do.

And yes, well, the apple looks silly on her hand but Emma's own smile when she laughs again is also priceless so the two of them nod at each other, ghosts in their eyes and quiet smiles growing on her lips, making everything a little bit easier.

Even if it's only a little.

3. "No, no, it's my treat."

Regina wants to say no, that Emma has already invited her too many times through all the days and weeks and talks the two of them had shared before they found about the Queen's of Darkness and the author and everything else but she just can't say no. Maybe it's because everything is too blurry and too strange to even care about the fact that the woman in front of her is the daughter of the one who she once called her mortal enemy. Maybe is because during all those previous nights, drinks and talks Emma had already proven that she is something else than just the daughter of Snow. Maybe is just because she wants to drink and smile for the umpteenth time at Emma when the blonde explains to her once again how she managed to catch the first man once she started to work all those years ago.

It really doesn't matter because she nods and drinks and Emma nods and drinks in return, a soft smile on her lips even if her eyes looks twice as tired as Regina feels. And yes, Lily is out there and the Author is there and Robin and too many things hung heavily between them and the blonde needs to be with that smelly pirate because Regina listened to the man complaining about Emma's lack of availability a little while back but she doesn't say a thing. And well, who cares?

So yes, she drinks with Emma and they talk softly about things that aren't exactly magical and futures that aren't written with quill and ink too ancient to even try to understand why they even exist.

And maybe, Regina thinks, those are the moments she really needs to start treasuring and collecting. Even if she still feels bad about Robin and angry because of what happened and what didn't even start.

But well, who cares.

4. "Come here. Let me fix it."

Those are the first words Regina ever says to the wind, and she knows that she really can't hear her, or maybe yes because magic and spells and summoning doesn't always work the same. And yes, it is said between the broken sobs of Snow, the cries for help from David and the utter silence of the pirate and Robin and well, it can be seen as stupid; the fact that she isn't exactly saying something to her or even offering real help to someone who can actually take it but Regna whispers it nonetheless as she approaches the abandoned dagger.

Her name written on the blade is, perhaps, the worst thing of all and as Regina grabs the handle and clutches it trying to feel something at the other side, something that can tell her that Emma is there, somewhere, the only words that escape her lips are the same, once and again.

She doesn't know how she can help Emma, or if she even can fix what the blonde had done. The only thing she has in mind is the fact that Emma has given to her her own future, her own happiness in order to save her. And yes, is tricky and complicated and the whole town depended on it but the fact, the fact that Emma's eyes had been looking at her puts a ball inside Regina's chest. A ball that seems to be stuck just behind her throat as she chokes and whispers and mumbles and… well, starts to feel rage that grows and dies almost as fast as tears seem to be falling down Snow's cheeks.

And she doesn't cry because she really don't feel that she can so when Robin pulls her closer to him she just nods, her hands still clutching the dagger, her eyes looking at something far away from her.

And yes, the only thing she wants to do is to be able to look at Emma and nod, just nod because the blonde only needed that to nod as well and smile and understand her. And maybe, she thinks, she wants to see her once again because now she feels strangely and completely numb, alone.

Lost.

5. "I'll walk you home."

The words are muttered and for a second Regina actually believes in them, believes that they are real. The illusion doesn't work for too long though because she opens her eyes and founds herself looking at the ceiling with a sad smile growing on her lips and a confused frown on her brows.

She had been thinking about Emma ever since the woman disappeared, old conversations appearing on her dreams almost as if they wanted to tell her something. And yes, well, she really can't see what they are trying to say to her because the dagger is hidden and Emma invisible for anyone but the words and that old conversation between the two of them seems to want to get stuck inside of her for a little more and so she closes her eyes and lets her brain think again about the night Emma said those words after a particular long night on the house they had thought to be the author's.

She can remembers the way she had been yawning for the last couple of hours and the soft, yet shy. smile Emma had given her after saying her that. She also could remember the way she had wanted to told her "no" because she had started to spend the nights trying to not think about Robin or Marian or anything else alongside with a bottle of any kind of alcohol but Emma was there and she was just too tired to even fight with her anymore so she nodded and let her walk her home.

And she doesn't remember anything else because halfway during her memory she hears Robin calling for her and she just sighs and turns and smiles at the man who she had let herself be with and just for a second, just one, she wonders and sighs and bits her lips thinking again on the bottle Emma herself hadn't let her drink that night and the laughs and smiles they had shared over two cups filled to the brim with tea. And maybe those images are the worst because, as she hears how Robin's breathing returns to the calm, sleepy one he had been having until a few minutes back, the only thing that prevails are the way Emma had looked at her; all trust and understanding and not, not pity because Emma never pitied her.

And yes, it's probably the worst thing of all.