New story. So, I just finished watching season 4.. Not my favorite season. AT ALL. Lauren getting shit and Bo being an asshole.. Well anyway, I'm pouring out my feels here. Not my usual fluffy feels! Sorry! This is basically me continuing from the end of the season. Might be differences to the back story, if I remember stuff wrong or not at all.. Creative license there. Note - Kenzi is back already. And AU from here on.
If I continue this, I probably won't update that regularly. At least not until I've finished one of my other stories. But this may turn out to be only a one or a two-shot. Don't know yet. Just had to get this started and out of my system so to speak, so I could continue to write my fluffier fics :P
And I don't own anything! DISCLAIMER!
FYI English is not my first language.
Oh and I was inspired by Ellie Gouldings 'Explosions'. Lyrics below.
Enough of my ramblings and on with the story..
xo
Explosions (Ellie Goulding)
You trembled like you'd seen a ghost
And I gave in
I lack the things you need the most, you said where have you been
You wasted all that sweetness to run and hide
I wonder why
I remind you of the days you poured your heart into
But you never tried
I've fallen from grace
Took a blow to my face
I've loved and I've lost
I've loved and I've lost
Explosions...on the day you wake up
Needing somebody and you've learned
It's okay to be afraid
But it will never be the same
It will never be the same
You left my soul bleeding in the dark
So you could be king
The rules you set are still untold to me and I lost my faith in everything
The nights you could cope, your intentions were gold
But the mountains will shake
I need to know I can still make
Explosions...on the day you wake up
Needing somebody and you've learned
It's okay to be afraid
But it will never be the same
And as the floods move in
And your body starts to sink
I was the last thing on your mind
I know you better than you think
Cause it's simple darling, I gave you a warning
Now everything you own is falling from the sky in pieces
So watch them fall with you, in slow motion
I pray that you will find peace of mind
And I'll find you another time
I'll love you, another time
Explosions...on the day you wake up
Needing somebody and you've learned
It's okay to be afraid
But it will never be the same.
.
"Hello Lauren. I'm surprised to see you here. Can I do something for you?" Evony asked curiosity lacing her tone. Lauren and Evony had re-established their professional relationship and even formed a friendship of sorts after everything. It had been weeks and things had calmed down since then.
Lauren had taken care of The Morrigan, when she had been hurt. Lauren's voodoo magic as she had called it wore off as soon as the doctor coughed up the antidote and Evony was once again a fae with all her full powers. And she had controlled her revengeful, murderous impulses and hadn't killed either Lauren or Bo. Evony knew even though she was cruel and ruthless, she could never actually kill the blond doctor. Not anymore. She didn't want to dwell on the reasons behind her reluctance to even think about such an act. She was fond of the geeky doctor. And she did save her life. Let's just leave it at that, Evony ended her musings and gave the doctor hovering at the door a small smile.
"Please. Come sit." The Morrigan motioned to the chair in front of her mahogany desk in her office.
"Hey.. Evony. I came to ask.. a favor." Lauren began carefully.
"Yes?" The Morrigan prodded and eyed the doctor, who was looking totally uncomfortable.
"I'd like you to transfer me to some other city, if possible?" Lauren blurted and met Evony's eyes, before lowering her gaze.
"Has something happened? Has Bo done something to make you ask such a thing?" Evony asked softly, making Lauren look up surprised.
"Well, no and yes. I have barely seen Bo after she, Dyson and Tamsin started planning to bring Kenzi back. Kenzi's been back for weeks now and I've seen Bo once! Once and by total accident.." Lauren sighed. "I think I just need to get away. Get some space, you know?"
"Get away from all this?" Evony said with a flourish of her hand. "Your life here?"
"Yeah, something like that. I have no life. Not really. And I just can't stay here anymore. Pining after her. I refuse to be a doormat any longer. I'm not happy. I need to.. try to find happiness somewhere else." Lauren rambled, but then stopped herself. "I'm sorry.. This is a lot to ask."
"No. Don't be sorry. I understand." Evony nodded. "I can most likely arrange you a job in.. Montreal for instance? I have connections there. Would that be okay?"
"That would be great." Lauren's eyes lit up. "You would really do this for.. me?"
"Only for you Lauren." Evony said seriously. She really did have a soft spot for this human, Evony rolled her eyes at herself. Am I going all soft, she fretted inwardly.
"Do you want me to tell Bo about this after you're gone?" Evony continued after a moment.
"No." Lauren shook her head. "No. I want.. I need to tell her myself, that I'm leaving, but I won't tell her where I'm going. And I wish you won't tell her either? I really need a clean break."
"Okay. I will set this up. When would you like to go?" Evony asked while scribbling on her pad.
"As soon as possible." Lauren shrugged. "I have nothing to hold me here."
"I'll make a few calls and let you know." Evony nodded.
"Thanks Evony. I really appreciate it. I was hesitant to come ask for your help, because.."
"We have history, Lauren. But it's old news." Evony cut in. "We both made mistakes and we're fine now. I care for you as a person and as an asset. It's my pleasure to help you." She finished.
"Really?" Lauren's voice broke.
"Really."
"Glad I didn't make a run for it after all.." The blond whispered mainly to herself, but Evony heard it also.
"You were going to run?" The Morrigan asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I thought about it. Yes." Lauren admitted quietly. "But being on the run.. It's not a life, is it?"
"It is not." Evony said almost sadly. "It's good you didn't take off.. I'll take care of you Lauren. You don't have to run anymore." Evony took a hold of Lauren's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Oh gods, I am really going soft, she realized in shock.
.
Two days later Lauren headed to meet Bo in the crack shack. Evony had been able to arrange everything at lightning speed, which didn't really surprise Lauren. The Morrigan got things done. And Lauren was eternally grateful for that. She was free from the light and dark, but not really and staying with Evony gave her protection. And now Evony was giving her a chance at a new life. Lauren felt a pleasant flutter in her chest at the thought of starting over.
I need to meet Bo and get this over with, Lauren mused as she lifted her hand to knock on the door. Actually she was ambushing Bo. She hadn't been able to reach the woman by phone and really wanted to talk to her face to face. If she couldn't, she would follow plan B and write a letter. But however this played out, Lauren was resolute she was leaving the day after tomorrow. She would leave for a new life, a new beginning. Nothing could stop her from doing that.
"Hi, Kenzi. Is Bo here?" Lauren asked as the door to the crack shack opened and revealed the wide eyed goth.
"Oh hey. Hey Lauren.. Bo is.. You really should have called first." Kenzi said seriously.
"I did. I have. Multiply times actually. She hasn't answered and I really need to talk to her." Lauren said steeling herself.
"Bo's in her room.. healing with Dyson." Kenzi said with an sympathetic face. "I'm sorry."
"Oh? It's okay. I should've known." Lauren sighed. "I won't stay and wait. Maybe you could tell her to meet me tomorrow at my office? Before 8pm?" She suggested.
"Sure. Do you want me to say something to her from you?"
"Lots of things." Lauren scoffed sounding angry, but then composed herself. Keep your eye on the price, she reminded herself. You're leaving all this drama behind. Finally. "Just tell her I'm leaving and I'd like to say goodbye." She told Kenzi.
"Leaving? Where are you going? When?" Kenzi rambled a little freaked out that the only other human she knew among the fae was going away. She didn't quite understand why that bothered her. Lauren wasn't really a close friend, but the doctor had grown on her. They were kind of friends, the goth realized and she was sad to see the doctor go.
"I have a new job, in a new city." Lauren said evasively. "I'm starting in a few days."
"Oh? A temporary job or.."
"I'm gone for good, Kenzi." Lauren gave a small sad smile. "It was nice to know you Kenzi. I wish you all the best.." She nodded slightly.
"Oh. You too." Kenzi said quietly. "So, I won't see you again?"
"Probably not. At least not soon. I need to get myself together, you know." Lauren said meeting Kenzi's eyes. "I have had enough of.. this."
"I get it. I really do. I hope you'll be happy." Kenzi nodded a little. She knew Lauren had been clinging onto Bo's roller coaster ride a little too long. Kenzi understood, if the woman wanted finally to step off the ride. "I'll tell Bo you want to talk to her."
"Thanks. I better be going now. Goodbye."
"Bye." Kenzi breathed as she shut the door. "Gone for good? That sounds so permanent.. Shit."
.
"Good morning Bo." Kenzi greeted, when Bo came to the kitchen. "Coffee?"
"Morning Kenz. Yes please." Bo eagerly snatched the mug from Kenzi's outstretched hand.
"Is Dyson still up there?"
"What? Of course not! He served his purpose. I'm healed. See?" Bo spat and gestured to her face, which had healed from the bruises Kenzi saw the night before. "He doesn't have to stay the night!"
"Okay.. Okay." Kenzi lifted her hands in surrender. "When have you last talked to Lauren?"
"A few weeks ago? Why?"
"Why haven't you talked with her or answered her calls?" Kenzi pressed on.
"What's this about?" Bo asked seriously.
"Just answer me."
"I've tried to keep my distance. She's a human Kenzi. I just keep hurting her. I can't be with her. She's not enough for me." Bo sighed, not really wanting to talk about Lauren. She was trying to forget the blond. She needed to forget her. Or at least take the edge off her feelings, so they could be friends.
"I'm human." Kenzi snapped.
"You're different Kenzi.. You know that. You're my friend, not my lover."
"I get it. So you don't love Lauren? You don't need Lauren and you don't want her? Anymore. Remember that." Kenzi sighed aggravated, but held Bo's gaze.
"What are you getting at? Why should I remember that?" Bo huffed impatiently.
"Bo, Lauren is moving away. She came to talk to you last night, while you were healing with Dyson."
"No." Bo gasped shocked.
"She's at the hospital today. Go and talk to her." The goth said in a demanding tone.
"She's leaving?" Bo asked and her voice broke a little. "You're sure?"
"Yes." Kenzi nodded. "And Bo, you will let her go."
"But I can't.. I love.. her." Bo stammered, tears stinging her eyes. "I know I've been an asshat, but I can't let her.."
"Bo! You will let her go. You can't keep stringing her along! She doesn't deserve that. You've been stringing her along long enough." Kenzi barked angrily.
"Kenzi?"
"I'm sorry, but sometimes you just piss me off! You're selfish and inconsiderate! This is not about you Bo. It's not about Dyson, or Tamsin or Rainer or any other fae you fu.."
"I'm.." Bo tried to cut in.
"It's about Lauren. She deserves better. You know it. I know it. And you will give her a chance to be happy. You will let her go." Kenzi snarled. "Quit being an asshole!"
"I'm sorry." Bo apologized sincerely.
"I'm not the one you should be asking for forgiveness.." Kenzi said more softly.
"I know."
"Lauren's human Bo. Please don't make her waste her short, precious life waiting on you. You should just let her go." Kenzi whispered and went to her room, leaving Bo lost in her morose thoughts leaning against the kitchen island.
.
"Hey, Lauren. I'm sorry I'm late. I was on a case and.." Bo breathed as she caught up with Lauren on the dark parking lot. It was already after 9pm. The succubus hadn't kept Lauren waiting on purpose, but things just happened. And now she was late.
"Bo. I was just going home. I thought you weren't coming." Lauren said in an irritated tone. "I know, I'm the last on your list, but you could have called."
"I'm sorry.. I'm really sorry. I was on a case." Bo repeated lamely. "Um, Kenzi said you wanted to talk to me? She said you were leaving?"
"Yes. I just wanted to tell you in person, that I'm moving away." Lauren said in an even tone. All her reservations about leaving were gone. She was sure this was the right thing to do. For both of them. She was going to stay strong. She had to.
"So.. Um, where are you going?" Bo asked with a small smile.
"Bo you don't need to know that. I don't want you to know that.. I'm sorry and I really don't want to be cruel, but.. I don't want to hear from you. And I don't want to see you anymore."
"Lauren, you don't mean that!" Bo gasped looking devastated. Was Lauren really breaking all ties with her, she thought anxiously.
"I do. I need to get on with my life. A new start." Lauren said almost coldly. She wasn't going to be swayed by the beautiful watery brown eyes looking at her pleadingly. She wouldn't fall for it. Not this time. Be strong, she told herself.
"I need you in my life Lauren. I need you." Bo begged. "Please."
"You don't need me Bo. I don't think you ever did.. You'll be happy juggling Dyson and Tamsin. They'll be able to provide for you like no mere human can." Lauren scoffed steeling her heart more and more. She really needed to get away.
"Is there somebody else?" Bo breathed sadly.
"You did not just ask me that." Lauren hissed angrily. Bo was such an ass sometimes! "It's none of your business!"
"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry, but I.." Bo tried to cut in.
"No. No! You have no right to ask me that. You have no right to be jealous or whatever. We're not together. I haven't heard from you in weeks. We're not even friends! We don't see each other. You don't answer my calls! You've chosen Dyson and that's okay." Lauren ranted scowling.
"I haven't chosen Dyson. Or Tamsin!" Bo snarled wanting Lauren to know she hadn't chosen anyone. "And I've kept my distance to you becau.."
"I don't want to hear it! You didn't choose me either." Lauren cut in silencing Bo. "You're a succubus Bo. Maybe you don't have to choose at all. But if you someday decide to choose someone to spend your life with, I'm making it a bit easier for you." She added in a gentler tone.
"How?" Bo whispered sounding oddly hopeful meeting Lauren's eyes. She has such beautiful eyes, Bo thought. I love her. I can't let her go. I can't.
"I'm out Bo. Choose someone else. I won't be part of this anymore. I'm letting you go." Lauren said softly, all the anger gone from her voice. "I'm letting you go."
"But Lauren I wish.."
"No Bo. It's too late. I'm choosing me. I loved you. I loved you so much, but now I'm letting you go. It's better this way." Lauren whispered with tears in her eyes and leaned in placing a gentle kiss on Bo's lips.
"Goodbye." Lauren said quietly. She let out a shuddering breath as she walked away and got into her rental car.
"Goodbye." Bo murmured tears falling on her cheeks as she watched the car speed off. "I still love you. I love you Lauren!" She shouted standing alone in the deserted parking lot.
.
Thanks for reading :)
A/N So there. I feel a bit better now ;) I'd love to hear your thoughts? If I continue, there will be more angst to come, before it gets better. Maybe.
A/N 2 Those following my other stories: I'll update Bet on That later today and The Art of Betting tomorrow or Tuesday.
A/N 3 (23rd May) Fixed the lyrics. I originally quickly copied them from my cd leaflet and they were obviously totally messed up.. Sorry. Thanks for guest reviewer to pointing this out :) I got my inspiration from listening to the song, not reading the lyrics.. My bad for not checking even though I thought something was amiss after I wrote them down!