Merlin sighed heavily as he sat on his bed for the first time in thirty hours. He really needed to get back to no sleep… He had forgotten how tired he was.

He smiled ruefully as he ran a hand through his hair and flopped back on his cot, thinking of how things would never change, even when they did.

He failed to block the thought that had been playing through his head all day; Four years today… It did nothing to lighten his mood.

He closed his eyes and finally let the thought flow into his mind along with the memories; the day Arthur died… today was the anniversary. He could still remember the betrayal in Arthur's eyes when he had told him he was a sorcerer. A look that still weighed heavily upon his heart.

Merlin would never dare admit it but he sometimes almost wished he had died with him.

"Uncle Merlin!"

Almost.

"Uncle Merlin?" He sighed at the twin voices then sat back up and walked to the door even as he heard Gaius tell them to look in his room.

The door burst open before he even had the chance to touch it and Merlin found himself buried beneath two very royal children laughing playfully as they bounced on him.

He laughed along with them and tried to detached himself from them only to have one of the twins latch himself to his back while his sister became like a leech on his leg.

"Aarg, what do you lot want? Ive played with you all yesterday and all last night, what more could you want from me?"

The children laughed but released their prisoner and sat on his bed, "Yes, but that was yesterday! Now its today so you have to play with us some more!"

Merlin marveled at the children, so like their father in the fact that at the moment they were nothing short of being spoiled rotten.

"Well, you see…" he started.

"No Merlin. We are in charge! We say play!" the boy glared at Merlin with a frighteningly familiar glare.

"Lance? Freya? Where are have the two of you gone off to now? If youre bothering Merlin then get back to your rooms and let him rest for goodness sake!"

Merlin silently thanked Guinevere a thousand times and blessed her a thousand more as the children ran to the other room to say hello to their mother, the queen of Camelot.

Merlin meandered into the main room and found Guen speaking amiably to Gaius with her two children on either side of her. Merlin stopped for what must have been the thousandth time in the last three- pushing four- years.

Lance Arthur Pendragon had been named after Arthur's good friend who gave his life not once, but twice for Camelot and his father, Arthur. There wasn't a day that went by that Merlin didn't catch himself thinking how similar he looked to his father.

His hair was blonde and fell into his large blue eyes. He had a silly smile and a deadly glare and absolutely no manners when it came to his uncle, Merlin.

Freya Valiant Pendragon had been named firstly after Merlin's late love. When Guen had heard the story she had insisted that Arthur would have wanted it. It was the closest they could get to naming one after him after all and that was one thing that they had both agreed on if ever they were to have children.

She was named secondly after how she had fought the first day of her life. She had been born a weak child yet fought with all the strength she had and somehow made it.

Freya shared her looks with her mother, with her dark hair and creamy skin and ever so kind eyes it was clear that she would someday grow to be the fairest young lady in the kingdom. A day that Merlin feared the coming of.

Guen saw him standing in the doorway and smiled at him and he returned the light smile. After four years she had only become more beautiful. He only wished that she would allow herself to mourn her late husband.

"Merlin, I am so sorry for these two, they are always running about and never seem to tire! From what I understand, they kept you all night and for that I am sorry." She truly looked sorry but Merlin knew that she was secretly grateful that he had been the subject of their constant attention.

He smiled at her again, "It was not a problem, My Lady."

"Merlin, what have I said about you calling me that?!" The two children looked on confusedly at their mother's reaction.

Merlin merely gave a slight smile again and subtly bowed his head just a fraction, "To not to?"

Little Lance tugged on the hem of his mother's skirt, "Mother? Why can't Uncle Merlin say 'My Lady'?"

Gwen smiled down at her children, "Merlin is a good friend on your father and I. He saved your father's life many times and mine as well. Friends don't call each other 'My Lady.'"

Merlin closed his eyes painfully at the mention of him having saved their father, thinking to himself, 'But I couldn't save him…'

"Gwen? Have you visited him today?" Both Merlin and Gwen turned to face Gaius in surprise.

He was looking at Merlin but speaking to Gwen and both looked away guiltily as neither had gone to pay their respects yet even as they knew their guilt was undeserved as it was still morning and the sun had only just risen.

Gaius shook his head slightly at the two friends, one a queen and the other a young sorcerer who still kept his magic secret and who he thought of as his son. To see them like this was heart wrenching.

"I suggest you leave soon before the crowds arrive to pay their respects." Merlin nodded and Gwen quietly thanked Gaius as she stood.

Merlin and Gwenn walked quietly with the twins. The children had picked up on the feelings flowing from the two adults before them. They had never known their father and so only knew him from stories they were told.

As children they didn't yet fully understand what death meant, knowing only it was similar to sleep. If it was like sleep, they didn't know what there was to mourn. They had always been told they came from a hero. A true king.

Uncle Merlin had spent the whole night telling them of their father and his many quests and, when they demanded it, he acted them out to the best of his abilities.

They knew he had been brave. They knew he had been proud. They knew he had been loyal and protective. But the most they knew him to be was a good friend. They didn't know why they would begrudge their friend a peaceful sleep.

Merlin knelt before the stone they had erected for Arthur. Not being able to bury his body they had merely buried their memories…