It's been a long while since I've posted here on Ffnet under sym64. That doesn't mean I haven't been writing. I actually have been very busy writing with my partner in crime Cokie316. You can find all the exclusive stories at our site whump2go dot wordpress dot com. Stories that are only posted there, tie-ins to season 5 and 6, for example. And lots of other stuff.

This short tie-in just popped into my head and I had to get it out. If you don't like Catherine I ask you NOT to read this story, and you should probably stay away from all our other stories as well.

Thank you, Cokie, for your quick work on this! :-)

There's the rub
by Sym64

Catherine locked the door and secured the deadbolt. She was sure no one had followed her, or even knew about this place, but one could never be too careful. She was, of course, aware that no deadbolt would keep them out if they ever found out about her. But so far, everything had gone according to plan.

Catching the sun's first rays, she took a last look out the window, peering behind the torn blinds to check the street below. Once she assured herself that she was alone, she took her sat-phone out of its hiding place. It was her only lifeline to the real world. Without it she would really be alone. She was not supposed to make contact until the end of the week, but she had had a strange feeling all night. She just knew it was important that she check in today.

Cath looked down at the device in her hands and again was very tempted to call the familiar number. A few times she had called Steve because she just had to hear his voice. She couldn't help herself, fully knowing that her actions were kind of cruel to him. She knew without a doubt that he would know it was her calling him.

She still remembered his words when he had said that he couldn't wait for her. Not anymore. She knows how much she had hurt him with leaving like that. She hoped that he also knows how very much it had pained her to turn and walk away from him, especially like she had. The pain and guilt had ripped her apart, and she wasn't sure she would ever recover from it. At least not until she was back home with him. If he would ever have her back.

It had been the hardest decision she ever had to make. At times like that she cursed her sense of duty, the one where the job always comes first. She knows that he understands it, even agrees with her, but she so desperately wanted to be with him. After the time spent apart it was more than clear that she truly loved him, and she knew in her heart that he loved her too.

She had hoped that their love would be enough, until the job had again come between them. Catherine hoped and prayed that, despite his words, that he would wait for her. It was a lot to ask, but he was always in her heart and she needed to hope for a good ending or she wouldn't be able to do her job.

Catherine shook herself out of her funk; she had a job to do. With a sad sigh, she dialed the number she had memorized. After just two rings her handler picked up her call.

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve pushed himself a little harder running up the hill. He was still at full speed, or what would count as full speed at the moment. Although he knew he wouldn't be able to keep up for much longer. He also knew that he should be at home resting instead of running like a mad man up this darn hill.

He should be at home giving his body the chance to recover from the day's events. Should give it the chance to deal with the after effects of being unconscious for forty minutes and breathing a lot of that anesthetic. Like he had told Danny and his team, they all should take it easy for the rest of the day.

But he couldn't do that. He simply had to… do something… anything… to work himself out. He was mad, yes, he was mad as hell. Back at the beach with Danny he had been relatively calm but after getting home, his emotions had boiled over. And to deal with them he just had to get out. Away. Hoping to run away from his thoughts. But the harder he ran, the faster they came.

And now here he was, finally coming to a stop, bending over and puking up whatever he had eaten today.

Steve was panting, sucking in air; the gagging made him cough and he went down to his knees, not caring about the rubble scraping his skin. He sat back, trying to calm his erratic breathing and fight off the dizziness.

Finally, the nauseous feeling subsided, his vision cleared and his breathing went down to a more normal level. Avoiding hyperventilating was surely a win.

Steve took a few more deep breaths while looking around. He silently groaned, realizing that no matter which way he turned he had to go four miles to get back to his truck. After running himself out, he now felt bone tired. The day's events were finally catching up with him.

He slowly got back to his feet, feeling every muscle doing so. He bent over again when dizziness threatened to take him right back down. After a moment he felt steady enough to stand up fully.

Steve took off his small backpack and took out the water bottle. After spitting out the first sips he drained the rest of the water.

The light breeze from earlier had picked up a notch and was now cooling the sweat on his skin. His idea from earlier to run himself out didn't feel so great anymore. Steve shook his head and started to walk downhill. After five minutes of cool-down-walking he started a slow jog.

Although he still felt tired and worn out, he mobilized reserves he knew he had deep down. Steve had always counted on knowing how far he could push his body. And although it would seem to an outsider that he had pushed himself beyond what would be considered healthy, he knew that he by far hadn't reached the end of what his body could take.

Steve chuckled, thinking back at some of the stuff he had gone through. Up-chucking from a hard run was nothing to worry about. It hadn't been the first time, and surely not the last.

But none the less he would be really glad when he reached his home and could lie down and just sleep.

He knew, even as exhausted as he felt, sleep would not come easily. Which brought him back to the reason why he was on this run in the first place. Catherine.

In hindsight he couldn't believe that he had bought her story. Hook, line and sinker. He should have realized, from her behavior alone, that something was off. She clearly had been devastated to leave. He knew without a doubt that her words of always loving him had come from her heart and that she had meant every word of it.

He had been so shocked and hurt that she would leave again, that he couldn't think straight. Steve laughed out loud at how monumentally stupid he had been. Had he looked past his hurt and feeling of abandonment he would have seen what had been going on.

Why the heck hadn't he tried to contact her? And why the hell had he told her he couldn't wait for her again. He desperately hoped she knew, that she at least hoped, that he would wait for her no matter how long it took.

He had tried to move on, but failed miserably. Yes, he had enjoyed some of the stuff he had done with Lynn. He had even enjoyed fooling around at the resort. But it all kind of felt wrong. Learning about why Cath had left, made it clear why he felt that way.

He couldn't move on. He couldn't move on without Catherine. He loved her. Plain and simple. And now he had to do something about it. Should have done something a long time ago.

But there was the rub. He had no idea what he could do.

H50 – H50 – H50

Catherine sat on the bed, too stunned to move. She had just ended the call with her handler, and what she had learned had completely shocked her.

Steve knows. He knows where she is, and why she left. And he and his team had saved her ass. Granted, he didn't just save her life, but all who had been threatened by the theft of the flash drive.

But he had saved her. Again.

She could just imagine him going after the person threatening her and the others. She knew that he could be… intense… when people he loved were in danger. He even got like that for total strangers in danger. A side of him she loved.

She wondered if he would be mad… no, she knew he would be. But she hoped he could forgive and understand her motivation. She hoped he would know that she didn't mean to hurt him, and that she wasn't playing him.

Now, that he knew, she knew she had to do something about it.

But there was the rub. She had no idea what she could do.

H50 – H50 – H50