A/N: Something dawned in me as I watch Hunter x Hunter, so I decided to stop my other stories and write this one fast.

DISCLAIMER: Hunter x Hunter is a copyright manga of Togashi Yoshihiro and anything that is newly added to the story belongs to the author of this story. Should there be any copies would have an equivalent punishment.

AFTER EVERYTHING

© Ellarie Soulhart

July 2015

After everything that happened, Killua realized that things wouldn't go the same the way he wanted like before.

He almost sacrificed everything after the ordeal with the Chimera Ants, taking Alluka with him just to request from her to heal the most important person in his life despite the rejection he received from him.

Gon had almost severed their friendship just because of his immense rage towards the one who killed Kite.

It was the first time that he saw Gon like that. Though he always seen the sheer determination in his eyes, Killua never thought that he would see that dark fire that he, himself, usually had – that fire to kill. Of course, he understood Gon very much and probably if it happened to him, he would be in the same shoes that Gon was in. But this Kite, he felt jealous of him, because he almost took away Gon from him.

And now, he was standing in front of Gon's almost lifeless body, covered in bandages and attached to several machines to keep him alive. He was angry and he felt betrayed. He remembered the words that his father told him before he left the Zoaldyck Estate:

"Never betray his trust, Killua."

'But I didn't, father…' he thought as a tear cascaded on his cheek. He gripped his pants tightly as he looked at Gon. "I didn't betray you, Gon, but why do you have to go this far…?" He asked Gon in a painful whisper. He didn't even feel the trickling of his own blood due to the intensity of his grip. "I don't understand at all. Why would you sacrifice yourself for that Kite? Am I not that worthy enough for you? I feel like I am the one betrayed. Though, why…"

Why couldn't I stay mad at you?

The thoughts were left unsaid when he felt Alluka's presence coming inside and heard her asking, "Ready, Killu-niichan?"

Killua could just nod. After that, Alluka had begun all the questioning and requesting; and Killua did everything just to save Gon, but inside his mind, he wanted him to be the one to save Gon so that he could kill him badly for doing reckless things.

I wish you have never come into my life, Gon.

His heart was aching badly and he was regretting that he couldn't do anything for Gon – that he had to ask for someone's help instead. He hated himself too for being weak, but most of all, he hated the feelings that keep gushing in his mind and heart.

That feeling of love towards Gon, and now, Gon had blown it.

The light that covered the whole area diminished and Killua was half-heartedly happy that Gon finally returned to the way he was. He looked at Alluka, but he was surprised to see that crestfallen expression his sister had.

"What's wrong, Alluka?"

Alluka didn't respond and kept on looking at Gon's peaceful feature. Killua was slightly bothered, but it seemed that nothing was wrong with Gon since he had recovered, thanks to Alluka. He pulled her hand outside and the little girl reluctantly followed his brother out. This wasn't left unnoticed, of course.

"Is something wrong?" Killua asked. He crouched in front of Alluka and smiled at her, "Gon's going to be all right, and thank you for that."

Alluka shook her head slowly then looked on the ground. Killua was surprised by the action.

"Alluka?"

"He…okay…" Alluka said in a broken sentence. Shuffling her feet, she continued, "…but…no memories…"

Killua's eyes could be as round as plates when he heard that from his sister. He held her by the shoulders and asked her, "W-What do you mean?"

"You…wish…you and Gon…not met…"

And it struck him.

"Alluka, let me talk to Nanika, please?"

Alluka nodded and she let Nanika out. Killua looked into her eyes and asked her directly, "Nanika, what happened to Gon?"

"You wished for Gon not to have met you, Killu-niichan." Nanika said. "When you are asking me a while ago, you unconsciously blurted those words. Yes, Gon-niichan will recover, but his memories will deteriorate." Nanika said. She looked back to the room and continued, "Gon-niichan might not remember you anymore, Killu-niichan, and he might forget himself as well."

After everything that happened, Killua realized that things wouldn't go the same the way he wanted like before.

And that's because he was the one who chose to end it all, blinded by his own confused feelings towards Gon.

And that's the end of it. Though I am thinking of what would happen to Gon afterwards. Hahaha. Now, a question for everyone: do you think Killua can revise that wish and totally save Gon before the memories totally perish?

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HOHOHO.