A/N: This was supposed to be a one shot, but then I wrote 14 pages and still wasn't done, so. You get this nonsense for 2 weeks! YOU'RE WELCOME, INTERNET.

Thanks for reading! I love unicorns!

Realistically, they should have known this was going to be trouble as soon as he'd come knocking on their door.

"Hurry, hurry!" the man in orange pleaded, dragging both of them by a sleeve. Phoenix wasn't sure how he had managed to convince them to hop in Miles's car and drive all the way to the courthouse. It had probably been because their old friend had been hysterical and they could scarcely get anything coherent out of him.

"Enough, Larry!" he finally said when he'd dragged them all the way to the courtroom door. He yanked his sleeve out of Larry's grip. Miles looked a little short of breath, but Larry appeared to be wired with nervous energy, his eyes darting around and his mouth twitching. "First you practically break down our door," Phoenix continued, "shouting about how 'they're gonna kill me' and 'you gotta come with me or it's going to be a mess!' Then you drag us all the way to the courthouse at 8 PM?!" He popped his hands on his hips, irritated. "What gives?!" Phoenix had been looking forward to spending a quiet evening at home with his fiance. He'd been about to change into pajamas, and was going to try to convince Miles to do the same, but then their troublesome old friend had shown up out of nowhere to upend their entire evening.

Larry scratched the back of his neck, looking nervous. "Look, guys, I promise I'll explain once we're inside," he promised, but Larry's promises rarely counted for much.

"And why should we go into the courtroom?" Miles inquired, raising an eyebrow. His arms were crossed in that typical stern manner of his, but he looked a little less intimidating when his bangs were crooked from all the running around.

"Come on, Edgey, it's me! Larry!" their friend said, pointing to himself as if they needed help recognizing him. "Would I ever steer you wrong?"

"Yes," Phoenix and Miles replied at once.

"Okay, fair point," Larry admitted, holding up a finger. "But you might change your mind once you see what's in this courtroom."

Phoenix exchanged a curious glance with Miles. Well, he certainly had their attention now, in any case. "Should we humor him?" he asked reluctantly.

"I suspect that if we don't, we shall never hear the end of it," Miles responded with a sigh.

"True. Although I can't imagine anything in this courtroom is going to suddenly convince us that Larry is reliable," said Phoenix.

"I concur."

"Hey, come on, guys..." Larry said mournfully, his shoulders slumping. "I'm right here..."

"Oh, sorry." Phoenix turned to face him again. "Fine, Larry. We'll take a peek inside this courtroom. But then we are going straight home."

"I doubt that!" Larry exclaimed excitedly, and shoved the huge wooden courtroom doors open.

"SURPRISE!" chorused a dozen or more voices then.

Phoenix stumbled back on his heels at the sight of a small crowd of people already there in the courtroom, all wearing bright smiles. His eyes searched the place. There were streamers hung up haphazardly, and a banner at the back of the room which read "HAPPY BIR CONGRATULATIONS, MILES AND PHOENIX!" There was what appeared to be a large cake up on the Judge's bench, and various party favors covering those of the defense and the prosecution. Curiously, there were also two ice sculptures in the shape of swans.

"What… in the world is this?" Phoenix finally said, looking around the room warily.

"It's your Bachelor Party, dudes!" Larry burst out, stepping in front of Phoenix and Miles and flinging his arms up triumphantly.

"I don't recall ever requesting a Bachelor Party," Miles said immediately.

"Yeah, I definitely didn't either," Phoenix agreed. "I mean, we're not even getting married for another six months."

"That's why it's so perfect!" insisted their old friend. He spread his arms wide. "It's a surprise Bachelor Party!"

Phoenix gave him a skeptical look. "Isn't planning a bachelor party supposed to be the best man's job?" he reminded him. "You're neither one of our best man."

Larry's shoulders slumped again. "Well you don't have to rub it in, Nick," he mumbled.

Phoenix shook his head, and turned to the people Larry had corralled in here. "All right, everyone, thank you for being here. Could you all maybe just… talk among yourselves for a little bit? My fiance and I have to have a talk with this guy." He jerked a thumb in Larry's direction. There were some nods and shrugs from the crowd, and then they slowly fanned out and quiet chatter filled the room.

"Did you really have to emphasize the word 'fiance' so much?" Miles asked when Phoenix turned back around. His face was pink and it was adorable.

"Miles, you know I'm going to take every opportunity to say it that I possibly can," he responded. Miles sighed, but nodded.

"Now then," he continued, turning his attention to Larry. "Whatever happened to 'they're gonna kill me?' I'm seeing a startling lack of murderous individuals here!"

"I guess you haven't seen Edgey's face then," Larry tried with a huge grin, but when Phoenix merely continued to stare at him, he groaned. "I knew you guys would never come out here without a good reason! Besides, if we rented out a whole courtroom and you guys didn't show up, I'm pretty sure someone would have killed me, so..." He shrugged. "It's not like I was lying, exactly!"

Phoenix's eyes rolled up towards the tall ceiling, calling on his deepest reserves of patience. "Larry, we appreciate all the trouble you went through for us here," he said when he felt like he could speak again without shouting, "but we were just planning on a quiet evening at home, and Trucy's supposed to be getting out of rehearsal any minute now—"

"Hi, Daddy!" chirped a familiar voice. Trucy was waving to him from the middle of a cluster of people, her blue silk hat emerging as she stepped out of the group. "I didn't have rehearsal tonight, actually! Sorry!" She giggled.

Phoenix rounded on Larry. "You brought my eighteen-year-old daughter to a bachelor party?!" he hissed dangerously.

Larry held up his hands defensively. "H-Hey, man, she said she wanted to be the entertainment!" He rubbed the back of his head, and glanced over at Trucy with a smile before turning back to face Phoenix and his fiance again. "How could ol' Uncle Larry refuse such a cute face?"

"Please don't call yourself that," Phoenix said, rubbing the space between his eyes. Although, knowing Trucy, she had probably already started calling the strange man in orange 'uncle.' His eyes drifted over their guests, and locked onto a certain individual whom he was both confused and relieved to see, and who appeared to be shouldering her way to the front of the group to approach the party's reluctant honorees.

"Hey, Nick," said Maya with a bit of a sheepish smile.

"Maya, why are we at a bachelor party right now?" Phoenix asked.

Maya's sheepish smile turned into a grimace. "Well… he showed up at my doorstep, crying rivers and begging me to let him do something for your wedding."

"We had wanted to keep Larry entirely uninvolved in the wedding planning, as everything he touches meets a disastrous end," Miles said resolutely.

Larry hung his head. "Come on, guys… have a heart, will ya?..."

"If Wright's best man is here, where is mine?" Miles asked next.

"Oh, I asked Franzy if she wanted to help plan this, actually!" Larry hastened to inform them. "Called her up last weekend!"

Miles and Phoenix both scanned the crowd for Franziska von Karma, but they neither caught a glimpse of her periwinkle hair nor the sound of her devastating whip. "And… what did she say?" Miles prompted, as Franziska was evidently not in attendance.

"She said, 'Technology has not yet invented a method for whipping fools through the telephone, Lawrence Butz, but I swear to you if you ever call this number again, I will swiftly make a scientific breakthrough to do so." He gave them a flashy thumbs-up. "She's even cute when she's threatening!"

"That does sound like Franziska," Miles said reluctantly.

"'Lawrence?'" Phoenix repeated incredulously.

Miles was shaking his head. "I wonder why she did not inform me about this..."

"Well, probably because I didn't actually get a chance to talk about the party before she hung up on me," Larry explained. Both Phoenix and Miles buried their face in their hand.

"Look, I know Larry is a walking trouble magnet—" Maya conceded.

"You too, Maya?" Larry whimpered.

"—but he seemed really earnest about helping you two out, so..." She shrugged. "I figured, what the hey. You guys weren't expecting a bachelor party. Larry can't ruin something you have no expectations for."

"I'm not so sure about that," Phoenix said grimly.

"G-Geez, I guess I'll just go somewhere and die, then!" Larry blubbered, his eyes swimming with tears. "After all the effort I put into this party..." Phoenix's eyes flitted over to the lopsided and sloppily-corrected banner and messy streamers. Well, at least the ice sculptures were nice. Larry was an artist, after all, Phoenix supposed. "You guys just want to tell me it was all useless?" said artist continued petulantly, clenching his fists. "You're cold! You know, I brought you together in the first place. You should show me a little gratitude!"

"You're right," Miles deadpanned. "Thank you so much for stealing money from a grade-schooler. Your noble act of chivalry has lead us to where we stand today."

Larry actually looked pleased. "That would make an awesome toast, man."

"People are supposed to toast the married couple, Larry!" Phoenix exploded.

"Nick," Maya said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Chill out, okay? I've got this in hand. I promise I won't let Larry wreck everything. But everyone's already here. We might as well have the party."

The calmness in her dark eyes was reassuring. "All right," said Phoenix, his shoulders relaxing a little. "We'll stay for an hour or so."

"Perfect!" she declared, clapping her hands together.

"The strippers are supposed to get here at 9, so don't leave before then!" said Larry.

Miles went pale. "You… you hired…?"

"Strippers, yeah!" Larry repeated. "No bachelor party is complete without strippers!" Phoenix swore he could see a part of Miles' soul dying with every repetition of the word.

"Has it occurred to you," Miles said slowly, "that I am marrying a man?" His left eye might have been twitching. Phoenix was too nervous to look too closely.

"So?" Larry challenged.

Everyone stared at him for a little while.

Finally, a look of realization crossed his face. "Oh," he squeaked uncomfortably. "I mean… I guess I could try to get some last-minute dude strippers, too—"

"Please do not," Miles commanded sharply. "Do not ever." His face had cycled from chalky white to beet red.

"Larry, please stop upsetting my fiance," Phoenix reprimanded him. Miles shot him a look that suggested that Phoenix should cool it with the gratuitous use of the word 'fiance,' but honestly, Miles knew what he had been getting into when he proposed. Hopefully.

Maya cleared her throat, and yanked Larry down to talk to him quietly. "Hey Larry," she said, "see that girl over in the corner?"

Larry craned his neck. "No..."

"Oh, she's behind Detective Gumshoe now…" She tsked. "Too bad. She was looking your way, and she was super cute."

He lit up. "Really?"

"Really," she said solemnly. "Hey, why don't you go over there and try to find her? I'll hold down things with Nick and Edgeworth." She gave him a convincing smile, warm with camaraderie.

"Thanks, Maya!" Larry grinned, and smoothed down the lapels of his atrocious orange jacket. "Wish me luck, boys."

"No," Edgeworth responded impetuously as he marched off.

"You didn't really let him get strippers at a courthouse, did you?" Phoenix whispered to Maya when he was out of sight.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "What kind of best man do you take me for, Nick?"

He didn't drop his searching gaze.

She scoffed. "Of course I didn't let him do that!" She crossed her arms and gave him an impressive glare. "Geez, have a little faith."

"I knew I made the right choice for best man," Phoenix said appreciatively.

"Yes, thank you for not allowing Larry to run amok, Maya," Miles said with slight smile and an incline of his head, which for him might as well have been a tearful oath of unending gratitude.

"Hey, anytime," she said, beaming. "Anyway, I have to go entertain guests. And also break the news to Larry that there's no mystery girl." With that, she turned and walked away.

Phoenix glanced over at his fiance. "Should we… go mingle or something?"

"We just had the engagement party two weeks ago," Miles said. "I've had my fill of 'mingling' for a while."

"Boy, I have some bad news to break to you about how many people are supposed to be at a wedding," he joked.

Miles glared. "I'm well aware of the length of our guest list, Wright."

"We're in a crowded place, Miles. At our bachelor party." He leaned in and raised both eyebrows coaxingly. "You can call me by my first name here."

"Just because I can doesn't mean I should," Miles shot back stuffily. Hm. Phoenix guessed this whole scene must really be taking the energy out of him. His brows were drawn together, trademark furrow in full-force, and his mouth was set in a downturned line.

"Hey, what's up?" asked Phoenix, taking him gently by the elbow and pulling him off to the side. "You look… upset."

"Aren't you?" Miles turned it back on him. "Larry did not consult us about any of this. He barged into our home and completely ruined our evening."

"Well, it's not like we had much planned anyway," Phoenix shrugged. When Miles just kept frowning, however, Phoenix squinted at him. "Unless…" He gasped. "You did have something planned!" His stomach fluttered a little when Miles reacted by clearing his throat and shifting his weight from foot to foot, the way he always did whenever Phoenix guessed correctly. "What was it? Romantic dinner? A massage? A cruise?"

"No, no, and—why are you always asking me about cruises?" Miles replied with a sort of impatient suspicion.

Memories of a pleasant dream flashed through his mind. "No reason," he said quickly. "So if it's not any of those things, what is it?"

He let a long sigh escape, his shoulders falling. "I had been planning on showing you… something I'd been hiding." He flushed. "Something… personal."

Phoenix stared. He was fairly certain he had seen everything Miles kept hidden, personally-speaking. "Huh?"

"Never mind. Let's mingle, Wright," Miles said shortly, grabbing his arm and dragging him in the direction of their guests. "We'll talk about this later."

Despite being a walking disaster zone, Larry had actually done a pretty good job deciding who to invite to the party. A fair number of their friends had shown up. Detective Gumshoe was overjoyed at all the food, which was actually pretty good, Phoenix had to admit. Prosecutor Blackquill was off in a corner, his arms crossed, looking like the world's gloomiest and slouchiest statue. Phoenix wondered if he, too, had been lured here under false pretenses. Trucy was doing a flawless job of entertaining the guests with her magic act, though Phoenix was pretty sure the part where she pulled a giant banner that said "CONGRATULATIONS, DADDY AND PAPA!" on it out of an audience member's sleeve was new. The only seemingly uninvited guests were the chattering gaggle of girls that were swarming around Prosecutor Gavin, who was pouring on the charm and cranking up the hair-flips as usual, though he appeared to be sticking almost protectively close together with a fluffy-haired guy with a weird cowlick that Phoenix had seen around the Prosecutor's Office. The kid looked kind of nervous about being here. Or maybe he was just scared of all of Gavin's rabid fans.

"I should bring Mr. Shields, an old friend of my father's, over in that direction," Miles said, nodding at the throng of girls.

"Why?" Phoenix asked curiously. "Is he even more charismatic than Mr. Rockstar Prosecutor over there?"

"No," said Miles. "But he is very good at making women lose interest. He could probably get them to leave."

"Brutal," Phoenix remarked.

The cake was surprisingly good (although it was suspiciously iced with bunnies and eggs, as if it were just a re-purposed Easter cake with "BEST OF LUCK, PHOENIX AND MILES" iced onto it in a corner), but around the time they'd been there for an entire hour, Phoenix was starting to get anxious about whatever this party had interrupted. Miles still seemed stiff and closed-off. Well, more than usual, anyway.

"Miles, please tell me what's wrong," Phoenix finally said, grabbing him by the arm again.

"Nothing is wrong," Miles deflected. "Come along. We haven't yet greeted every single person here."

"You hate greeting people," Phoenix reminded him.

Miles just made a contemplative hmm noise, which Phoenix took to mean that he was acknowledging Phoenix's point.

"You wanted to show me something personal?" He spread his hands. "Well, here I am. Feel free to show me anytime now."

His fiance looked conflicted, his eyes darting around and his tongue darting out to swipe across dry lips, but then he sighed and made eye contact at last. "Fine," he said. "But it can't be here. I don't want to cause a scene. I fear it may make you… emotional."

"What?" Phoenix said indignantly. "That's frankly a little insulting! I am a grown man and I can handle myse—"

"The journal," Miles hissed near his ear. "The one I was going to use to propose to you. I was going to show it to you, finally."

Phoenix gasped. "Really?!" His treacherous eyes stung. "Oh my gosh… that's so sweet…!"

Miles gestured to him with one hand. "My point."

The defense attorney sniffled. "Okay, fine, you win. I feel very deeply, all right?!"

"I know," Miles responded with a half-smile. "Now can we please get out of here so you can blubber in private? We can come back to say good-bye to everyone later."

"I resent your use of the word 'blubber,' but yes," Phoenix replied, looping his arm through Miles'. "Let's go talk to my best man."

"You're leaving already?" Maya said, her face falling. "But you guys barely even had one slice of cake!"

"I don't particularly like cake anyway," Miles said.

Maya looked at him with an expression of betrayal. "Have you no joy in your heart?" she murmured.

Phoenix rolled his eyes. "It was a great cake, Maya. Tell Larry thanks for all this."

"He really did try hard on this party, you know," said Maya seriously. "Like, the hardest I've ever seen him try."

"I know," Phoenix replied, "And I do appreciate it. Really. But Miles and I kind of already had plans, so—"

"Ooh, what plans?" the spirit medium cut him off, her eyes glittering with mischief. "Gonna go make out somewhere?"

"Well, no; actually Edgeworth was gonna show me this jou—"

"Yes, absolutely," Miles said loudly, drowning out Phoenix's words. He grabbed Phoenix's hand. "That is what is going to happen. It has been planned for weeks and will last for quite some time. We shall return later." And with that, he started to drag the bewildered Phoenix off.

"Gross," said Maya, looking delighted. "Be safe, you two!" she called after them.

"Are we really going to make out?" Phoenix asked his fiance when they were out of earshot. The question had come out maybe more excited than he meant it to.

The prosecutor gave him an impatient look. "I'm going to show you the journal! We just talked about this, Wright!"

"Oh, right. Well, the two events don't have to be mutually exclusive," Phoenix said hopefully. His brow furrowed suddenly as he thought a moment. "Wait, you'd rather people thought we were making out somewhere than let them know you wrote me something sweet and personal?"

"Yes," said Miles immediately.

"Looking forward to those vows you'll make in front of everyone, dear," Phoenix said flatly.

"Sounds like what Kay said," Miles snorted. "But I assure both of you, my vows will be suitably romantic." He was still pulling Phoenix along, but he looked over his shoulder to shoot his fiance a smile as he squeezed his hand.

Phoenix was pretty sure Miles could shout "I find you acceptable and only occasionally irritating" on their wedding day, and Phoenix would be fine with it as long as he smiled at him like that.

Next time: Memories.