PEACH GOES ON GAME SHOWS!1
by Hoogiman

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Nintendo characters listed here.

Episode One: Sale of the century!

Peach and Link walked through the entrance of Smash Mansion, Link giving Peach an angry look.

"That was the worst weekend ever! Everyone threw tomatoes at us! I still can't believe you pumped helium into that flamingo!" said Link angrily.

"Sorry," replied Peach, "I thought it was a balloon!"

Link sighed.

"Where is everyone?" asked Link.

A green monster came in, cackling evily.

"Hahaha!" laughed the green monster, "I have kidnapped all of the other smashers!"

Link gasped.

"Even Kirby?" asked Peach.

"Even Kirby," replied the green monster.

"NUUUUEEE!1" screamed Peach.

"You don't even like Kirby!" said Link.

"Well… uh… pies…" said Peach.

"WTF?" replied Link.

"The only way to get your friends back is by going through an undetermined amount of game shows!" laughed the green monster, "One of you has to beat all of the other contestants, or your friends will be killed!"

"NUUEE!1" screamed Peach and Link.

"You will be teleported to your first game show, 'Sale of the century' now!"

The green monster cackled evilly.

"I can twist the rules to stop you from winning!"

"NUUEE!1" screamed Peach and Link.

Peach and Link teleported to the 'Sale of the Century' set.

"Welcome back!" said the host. "We are halfway through the show, and our current champion, Mike, is on 85 points, while Link is on 20 points, and Peach is on a low, idiotic, 0 points."

The host cleared his throat.

"Now for the questions!" said the host, "How many Altean lakes are there?"

"I know that!" said Link.

Peach pressed the buzzer.

"Peach, your answer?" asked the host.

"LINK KNOWS!" screamed Peach.

"Wrong answer Peach, you idiot," said the host bluntly, "Because we're not cruel enough to make you go into negative score, you remain on a grand total of, '0' points."

"Peach! You idiot! You should have just let me answer the question!" cursed Link.

The green monster teleported next to Link.

"If Mike wins the show, all of your friends will die!" said the monster.

"Peach, come on, we have to win!" said Link.

Score:
Mike: 85, Peach: 0, Link: 20

"Next question," said the host, "Who gets kidnapped a lot, is a princess, and her name is also the name of a fruit?"

Link pressed the buzzer.

"Princess Peach!" said Link.

"Correct!" said the host, "5 points to you!"

Score:
Mike: 85, Peach: 0, Link: 25

A few minutes later…

Score:
Mike: 100, Peach: 0, Link: 80

"We have precisely five questions left," said the host. "For Link to win, he has to answer every single question right, and not let Mike score! What is twelve plus seven?"

Mike hit the buzzer.

"NUUE!1" screamed Link.

"Uh…" said Mike, "8?"

"Incorrect," said the host. "You lose five points!"

Link gave a sigh of relief.

Score:
Mike: 95, Peach: 0, Link: 80

"Peach," said Link firmly, "Do not answer a single question… let me do all of the work… if you answer a question, all of the smashers die!"

"Okay," said Peach.

"Four questions left!" said the host. "What is Link's favourite food?"

Link pressed the buzzer.

"Hyrulian Cookies!" said Link.

"That is incorrect," said the host.

"I'D THINK I'D KNOW MY FAVOURITE FOOD, SEING THAT I'M LINK!1" screamed Link.

"Well then… uh… it is correct…" said the host.

Score:
Mike: 95, Peach: 0, Link: 85

"Three questions left!" said the host. "If Mike answers a question correct, he will win the show! What are the colours of the Swiss flag?"

Link pressed the buzzer.

"Red and white!" said Link.

"Correct!" said the host.

"Did you know that Santa is red and white?" asked Peach.

"Peach, just sit there, and don't do anything! Okay?" asked Link.

"Okay!" said Peach.

Peach did nothing.

Score:
Mike: 95, Peach: 0, Link: 90

"Two questions left!" said the host. "How many days are there in a year?"

Link hit the buzzer.

"365," said Link.

The green monster appeared.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!1 HE MEANT LEAP YEARS!" laughed the monster. "JOO WERE WRONG!1 YOU LOST THE GAME! NOW FOR THE SMASHERS TO DIE!"

Score:
Mike: 95, Peach: 0, Link: 85

"NUUUEEE!1" screamed Link.

Link and Peach started crying.

"I'm crying because our friends will be killed!" sobbed Link.

"I'm crying because this is a badly constructed fic!" sobbed Peach.

"I'm crying because Happy Days is over!" sobbed Fonzie.

"Wait! I've got an idea!" said Link.

Link got out a marker pen, and put a dash next to Mike's score.

"And you thought it would be that quick!" laughed Link, "Now Mike's score is minus 95!"

"NUUUEEE!1" screamed the monster. "Curses! My plan has been foiled! I will have to think of another game show that you will have to beat! NUUE!1"

Peach and Link started sighing sighs of relief.

"I'm sighing sighs of relief because the smashers aren't going to die yet!" said Link.

"I'm sighing sighs of relief because of the same reason too!" said Peach.

"You can buy Happy Days on DVD!" said Fonzie.

"Worst… fic… ever…" growled the green monster, "I'll get you next time Peach and Link, next time!"

Credits scroll.