title: we'll never die (we're like diamonds in the sky)
category: thor/captain america
genre: friendship/humor/romance
ship: darcy & jane (friendship); darcy/bucky; jane/thor
chapter rating: pg-13
overall rating: nc-17
warning(s): Coarse Language, Explicit Sexual Content
spoiler(s): Captain America: The First Avenger, Avengers, Captain America: Winter Soldier
prompt: AU where Darcy is the Winter Soldier and Jane is Captain America
word count: 9,772
summary: As opposites go, sickly, skinny Jane Foster and snarky bombshell Darcy Lewis are at the top of the list. But when Darcy saves Jane from a bully, they find common ground and are fused at the hip ever since. Together, they take on the world, until war comes knocking and they answer. [AU where Jane becomes Captain America, and Darcy becomes the Winter Soldier]
we'll never die (we're like diamonds in the sky)
-novel-
1926
Jane was always the smart one. She was the one with her nose in a book, with lead smudges on her fingers and her chin, with mathematical equations running rampant on her brain. She was strange, she imagined, to most. Growing up in the squalor of Brooklyn, she hadn't had much at her disposal. People always chalked it up to faulty genetics for why she was always so small and so sick, but Jane thought it was a combination of genetics and exposure to less than hygienic surroundings. Born at the end of the first World War, she'd come into the world two months early and far too small. It would be an on-going issue. Her mother wondered sometimes, how arms so frail, could even manage to hold so many books.
The truth was, books were easy to understand. Math and science made sense; they were logical. When she brought her nose out of them and took a look around, she realized that the world was not nearly as logical as she had hoped it would be. People were cruel. They didn't like what they didn't understand and frequently went out of their way to make fun of it. She was one of their favorite targets. Short for her age with stringy, thin brown hair, coke-bottle glasses, and a perpetual cough, she was ripe for the picking. But never let it be said that little Jane Foster didn't try to give as good as she got.
"People aren't always nice, Janey. They got ideas about who everyone should be. Who you should be. But you don't ever have to listen to them, you hear me? You're a good girl. A smart girl. And nobody can ever take that way from you."
She held onto those words. Even more tightly when her mother died when she was just six years old. The orphanage was not kind to her; the children were all so angry at the world and there were so few outlets. It seemed her book was being shoved from her hands every chance available. With a sigh, she would gather it back up from the ground, hoping it wasn't ruined or dirty. But the other children would snicker and do it again, and again, and again. Waiting for the moment she would cry. And she wanted to. Oh, she desperately wanted to some days. But then her mother's words would echo in her ears, and she'd bend down and pick that book up, each and every time.
She was eight years old when that book stopped being shoved out of her hands, and it was all because of Darcy Lewis.
Jane frowned angrily at the foot stepping on her book, no doubt leaving behind a dirty print. Not for the first time, she wished she had the kind of strength that would show the other kids that she wasn't a wilting flower. Their taunts and teasing that one day it would get windy and she'd just blow away would finally have no value.
Still, even without any considerable strength, she balled her little hands up into fists and stood up, her pointed chin raising stubbornly. "Leave. Me. Alone," she demanded.
The boy, much bigger than her and older by two years, his brown hair cut lopsided and hanging over his collar, sneered at her. "Make me," he snarled.
Jane knew it would hurt. She knew it would bruise every one of her fingers. But she pulled her hand back and she swung anyway. Because no one would take away her dignity, not anymore. Her punch landed, but it didn't do much more than hurt her. She winced, hissing at the pain, and pulled her hand back, wringing it to try and get the ache out of her knuckles.
The boy in front of her snickered and she watched his own fist raise up, ready to pummel her in return. Only, he never got the chance.
"Hey!"
He turned.
A fist knocked him square in the mouth, so hard that he twisted, tumbling to his knees, his hands scraping on the ground as he fell. He let out a grunt of pain and looked back to glare at the brunette girl looking down at him, a hand on her hip.
"You wanna fight, I'll give you a fight. But don't say I didn't warn ya…" she said, her eyes narrowed.
The boy gave her a look over, seeming to consider his options, and then he licked the blood from his split lip and muttered, "I don't care. You're both weirdoes." Pushing up from the ground, he dusted off his knees, and slunk off, his head bowed and his face flushed red in humiliation.
Jane stared after him a moment before she turned her attention to the other girl, who was grinning at her in what could only be called amusement.
"How's your fingers?" she wondered.
Jane looked down at her hand and frowned at her already swelling knuckles.
"C'mon. I don't live far from here. We can put some ice on that…" the girl offered with a tilt of her head.
Jane bit her lip uncertainly. "Why would you do that?" She shook her head. "Why'd you help me?"
The older girl grinned at her and then let out a faint laugh. "I'm Darcy. And I don't like bullies."
Jane gazed up at her thoughtfully, her own lips tilted. "Me either."
With a nod, Darcy started walking off down the sidewalk. "Well? You comin'?"
Jane smiled slowly. She grabbed up her book from the ground and hugged it to her chest before she hurried after Darcy, looking up at her with something akin to adoration.
It was a look that wouldn't ever really fade.
Jane and Darcy were inseparable from that moment forward. Darcy walked right into her apartment, grabbed some ice out of the freezer, added a handful to a rag, and pressed it to Jane's hand. When her mom walked in, she took one look at them, sighed, and asked, "Where'd you pick up a stray?"
Darcy smiled toothily. "Down by the orphanage. Can we keep her?"
"Darcy Rae," Edna sighed, shaking her head. She stepped forward, all hips and busy brown hair, and looked down at Jane curiously. "Well, what's your name then?"
"Jane. Jane Foster," she answered, lifting her chin higher. "Please don't be mad at Darcy. She stopped a boy from beating on me. She was just trying to be nice."
"Nice?" Her mother cast a look over to Darcy, who shrugged. "Well, there's a first time for everything, I suppose."
Darcy snorted. "C'mon, ma, look at her. She's smaller than Johnny and he's younger than her."
"Johnny's big for his age."
"Maybe in the head."
Her mother huffed.
Jane looked between them. "I don't want to cause any trouble," she murmured.
"Only troublemaker here is Darcy. Always will be."
"At least I'm predictable," Darcy answered, not the least bit chagrined.
Jane looked over at her, hesitant, but when Darcy winked at her, she smiled.
"Don't you go gettin' this girl in trouble. You hear me?" Darcy's mother demanded.
"Dug the wax outta my ears myself," Darcy assured, nodding.
Looking thoroughly exhausted with her daughter, Edna waved a hand. "Go on outside. Unless you wanna help me clean this place up…?"
Darcy was up and moving toward the door before she finished asking. "C'mon, Jane. I'll bring you down to the corner store. We can bug Mr. Edwards 'til he cracks and gives us a soda to share."
"You leave Mr. Edwards alone," her mother yelled after her. "Darcy Rae, I mean it!"
Darcy merely laughed as she hurried down the stairs with Jane hot on her heels. "Did you catch that?" she asked, smirking. "'Cause I sure didn't."
Jane shook her head to herself; she had a feeling Darcy would be getting her into a lot of trouble. And she wasn't sure she cared.
1930
Jane liked to think she was the type of person who did the right thing when it was needed. She might not have height on her side, or strength, or much of anything, but she had the values that her mother instilled in her. So when she saw other people being bullied, she remembered what it felt like, and she vowed to put her foot down.
"You should leave those boys alone," she spoke up, frowning at the group of three that were crowding in around children much smaller and meeker than them. "It's not right. You're scaring them."
"Who asked you, bookworm?" one of the bigger boys sneered.
Grinding her teeth together, she put her book aside and stood up, moving over to where they stood and putting herself carefully in front of the smaller boys. "Nobody, but I'm saying something anyway. Leave them alone," she said, raising her voice even as she saw their hands ball up into fists.
"I think you should stay out of it," another boy said.
Before Jane could reply, she was shoved to the ground, landing hard on her butt, her hands scraping on the pavement. She glared up at them, dusting her hands off, and pushed up from the ground. "You can keep pushing me, but I'm not going to stop until you leave them alone."
Once more, she was pushed, and they snickered at her. And when she stood again, it only seemed to make them angrier. She was going to have bruises on her hands and her butt and the backs of her thighs, but it was worth it. She was tired of seeing people treat others this way just because they were bigger. It wasn't right or fair and damn it, she wasn't going to let them do it anymore.
The biggest boy, with bright red hair and a face full of freckles, sneered down at her as he rolled the sleeves of his shirt up his arms. He caught her watching and grinned. He was going to sock her, and she knew it. She didn't step back, she didn't pull away, she said, "I'll hit you right back."
"I'm real scared," he muttered scathingly.
He socked her good in the eye, she could already feel it swelling, and she fell to her knees from the impact. But she got right back up and she took a swing back at him, missing, but trying all the same. He put his fist in her belly for the effort and shoved her shoulder, tossing her back on her butt. Before she could get up that time, one of the teachers intervened, yelling at them to stop. The boys ran off and Jane was hauled up by her arm and brought to the nurse's office. She had a shiner already blooming that hurt like heck, but she wouldn't go back and change her mind. Not for anything.
The following day, after she told Darcy about it and let Edna put something cold on her eye and cheek to keep the swelling down, she went to school and she saw that same carrot-headed boy. Only he had two black eyes and the fattest lip Jane had ever seen. He flinched when he saw her and made sure to walk clear out of her way. Darcy never said anything about it, but Jane knew. And the other kids soon learned; nobody hurt Jane Foster, not unless they wanted Darcy Lewis to give them twofold back.
1931
"Ma, she's burning up," Darcy worried.
"There's nothing I can do about that, Darcy. Get the other blanket off your brother's bed. Only thing we can do is wait it out and keep her warm."
Jane shivered, despite the fact that she was sweating, she was so warm. Her throat was painfully dry and her eyes were uncomfortably crusty. She had a fever; she knew that much. She'd been feeling sick all day and her body finally gave up on her. Every time she coughed, her whole body was wracked with pain. Tears leaked out the corners of her eyes and she blinked, wishing she could reach up and scrub at her eyes. But her arms felt like lead, stuck under the weight of the blanket and unwilling to budge an inch. She felt weak and heavy and so, so tired.
"You're not allowed to die on me, Janey," Darcy ordered her.
"Hush now, you'll scare her," Edna warned.
"I don't care if she's scared as long as she's alive." Darcy sat down beside Jane's head then and rubbed her fingers through her sweaty, thin hair. "You hear me, smarts? You're gonna get through this. I know it hurts and you're tired, but you're gonna be okay. I promise. And Lewis' don't lie, do they?"
Jane's lips curled faintly at the corners. "Only to save their butts," she choked out.
Darcy laughed, but the sound was choked up. "That's right." She rubbed her cool palm over Jane's forehead soothingly.
It took a while, but the fever eventually broke, and Jane came out of it, tired and weak, but alive.
"Don't ever do that again," Darcy told her, hugging her tight.
And Jane hugged her back, her head cradled on Darcy's shoulder. Sometimes she wondered if she would've made it if Darcy never came into her life. She doubted it.
1934
Jane shifted on the stool she was seated on. It was too tall for her, enough that her legs dangled, not quite long enough to find purchase on the rungs. She could feel pressure in her knees and the backs of her thighs were chafing beneath her dress, but she didn't complain. She would much rather be at home with a book, but Darcy had promised her they would have fun, and so she had let her best friend drag her out into the world.
The dance hall was packed with bodies, young men and women all giggling and flirting as far as the eye could see. Jane was not one of them. Not because she didn't want to, but mostly because whenever she tried, she was quickly overlooked. She was like a guppy in a sea of tuna. The other girls wore bright colors, their hair was curled, their make-up bright and eye-catching. They had hips and breasts and their dresses served to accentuate that. Jane had none of this. She was short, flat-chested, with thin hair that never curled quite right, and though Darcy had done her make-up for her, she felt like she was wearing too much.
Beside her, Darcy sat, completely at ease, wearing a dress her mother had sewn herself, measured perfectly to mold to the generous curves of Darcy's body. Her dark hair fell in a wave of curls around her shoulders and her full lips were painted cherry red. Boys tripped over themselves to talk to her, to make her laugh, to get any of her attention, and she enjoyed it, amused by how eager they were.
They offered to buy her drinks, begged her for a dance, and complimented her on everything she did. Jane watched her from the corner of her eye, envious in a way she never liked but had long gotten used to. She could understand why these people liked Darcy. She was beautiful and friendly and smarter than she ever advertised. Darcy had been her best friend for eight years and even back then she'd been larger than life, brimming with confidence. Jane would be lying if she said she hadn't hoped that some of Darcy's luck in all things genetic and personality might rub off on her, but she wasn't so fortunate.
"Have you met my friend?" Darcy asked, leaning to the side. "This is Jane."
She raised her chin, because she was no coward, no matter how much it hurt to have the boys dismiss her so easily. They cast a critical eye over her and she came out wanting.
"Well, hey there Jane. You're a lucky girl to have a friend like Darcy here," one said.
She offered a faint, empty smile and nodded. "I am."
"I'm the lucky one," Darcy cut in, her tone a little more biting now. "Jane's smart. She's sweet and funny and she's got an encyclopedia hidden up there in her head." Reaching over, she stroked Jane's hair back, tucking it behind her ear affectionately. "In fact, why don't you boys go get us something to drink? Janey and me are gonna get some dancing in."
"You sure you don't want a different partner, sweetcheeks?" one of the boys tried to charm, sidling up closer to her.
Darcy hopped down from her stool and raised an eyebrow up at him. "There's not a better partner in here, doll." Reaching back, she took Jane's hand and waited for her to join her.
It was a little awkward, getting down from the stool, but she managed not to make a complete fool of herself. She joined Darcy as she walked out onto the dance floor, smiling as Darcy raised her arm up and swung Jane around in a spin.
Shaking her head as she stopped, she looked up at her. "It's okay if you want to dance with one of them," Jane told her. "I told you, I don't mind staying home. I found a book on astrophysics the other day. It's really interesting..."
"You spend too much time with your nose in a book, Jane. You've gotta come out and live life sometime."
Jane sighed, letting Darcy lead her into a dance. She cast her gaze over to the group of boys they'd left behind, each of them holding two drinks, waiting for Darcy to step off the floor and let them know which one of them she was interested in, who she'd take a drink from. "Yeah, well, life doesn't seem to like me too much."
"What? Them?" Darcy scoffed. "Boys are dumb as rocks. There's dozens of them and only one of you. Who do you think I wanna spend my time with, huh?"
"I don't know, the one on the far left is pretty cute," she said, half-smiling.
"Yeah, and he knows it, too." Darcy laughed, rolling her eyes. "Listen, I like dancing. I like going out and I like it when they buy me drinks and tell me I'm pretty. But I don't need that. There's a whole damn world out there and we're gonna explore all of it. Just you and me. So don't you worry about what boys want. You just ask yourself, what do you want in this life, huh? 'Cause whatever you want, I'll help you get it." With a smile, she pulled Jane in close and said, "You want the stars, Janey? I'll get you the stars."
Jane grinned back at her. "All of them?"
"Every single one," she promised, her eyes wide. "I'll pluck 'em right out of the sky and you can keep 'em in your pocket. Something almost as bright as you, huh?"
Jane blinked quickly as her eyes burned. "What'd I ever do to get a best friend like you?"
"You probably read too much. It's criminal how smart you are."
Jane laughed. "I'll keep my eye out for the coppers."
"You should. It's my civic duty to report you for being such a smart ass."
Jane ducked her head. "Darcy…"
"Does my potty-mouth offend you, Miss Foster?"
She sighed, looking up at her with affection. "So we're gonna see the whole world, huh?"
"Every goddamn thing in it. We'll takes a plane or a boat and we'll go everywhere. We'll go out to the dessert and see the storms roll in. I read about them in one of your books. Imagine it, Janey. A big thunderstorm, lightening as far as you can see."
"You hate thunderstorms," Jane reminded.
"I hate rain. Ruins my hair."
"Right, can't forget about your hair," she mused lightly.
"It's one of my finest assets," Darcy boasted, smirking.
"Of course it is."
Darcy spun her around again and then came to a stop, arm hugged around her waist. "Come on… We'll grab a drink off the boys and then we'll head back home. You can tell me about this astro-stuff you like so much."
Jane grinned up at her happily and nodded.
When they walked back to the crowd of boys, Darcy didn't pick anyone in particular, she just plucked two drinks from whoever was closest and handed one off to Jane. "Cheers," she said, winking at them. And when they asked her for a dance, she shrugged and said she had to powder her nose first. She and Jane slipped out the back and started back to the small apartment the Lewis family lived in. They stayed up half the night with Jane reading to Darcy from her favorite new book and fell asleep on the small bed, back to back. All in all, Jane considered it a good night.
1935
For all that Darcy was full of feminine wiles, Jane liked her much less feminine side too. The side of her that would prefer to wear pants to dresses, that frequently wielded a wrench and tried to fix the toaster or the fridge or whatever was acting up that day.
Jane sat on the counter as Darcy plugged away under the sink, trying to fix a leak in one of the pipes.
"I wish you'd let me help you… I have a book on plumbing," Jane told her, legs crossed at the ankle.
"You got a book on everything," Darcy muttered. "I can fix it just fine without one."
"Fine. But if it breaks and your mom has to pay for it, she's gonna whoop you."
"She'd have to catch me first."
Jane could hear the grin in her friend's voice. "You'll have to come home sometime," she reminded.
"Yeah? You won't let me bunk with you at the orphanage? Break my heart, Janey."
Rolling her eyes, she hopped down from the counter, wincing when her knees twinged from the pressure. "Sure, I would. But I don't think you'd like it much."
Darcy paused, wrench raised over her head, and then she pulled out from under the sink and frowned. "Listen, you know you can always stay with us, right? Bed's not big, but neither are you, you fit just fine."
"I don't want to take up anymore room…" Jane murmured. "Your mom's already done so much for me."
"And she always will. You know she loves you like another one of her kids. Hell, she'd trade me in just like that for a kid half as nice as you."
Jane rolled her eyes. "You're not that bad."
With a snort, Darcy ducked back under the sink. "Tell that to her… I was talking to her the other night, she asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I said I wanted to travel the world, never stop anywhere for too long. Just hop a train, see where it takes me, never look back. You know what she said?"
"What?"
"She told me I was never gonna go anywhere. I'd just be stuck here in Brooklyn, my whole life."
"What's so bad about Brooklyn?"
"Nothing bad about it. 'Cept the dirt and the jerks and that we're all so damn poor." Darcy sighed, banging something with her wrench. "It's not that I don't love Brooklyn, it's home, it's where you and me met. But there's a whole world out there, Jane, and you bet your skinny butt I'm gonna see it. Even if I have to build wings and fly myself out of here, I will."
Jane half-smiled. "As long as you take me."
Ducking out from the sink, wiping her dirty hands on a rag, she swiped a loose chunk of her hair back, leaving a smudge on her cheek. With a grin, she said, "You're stuck with me, Janey, for as long as I got air in my lungs."
"Keep breathing," Jane answered with a smile.
1937
"Didn't I teach you to sneak better?"
Jane flinched, whirling around, and watched as Darcy pushed off a wall and walked toward her, all swinging hips and knowing smirk. "Jane Foster, are you stealing an education?"
Eyes darting to and fro, Jane bit her lip. "It's not hurting anybody! I… I just wanted to sit in on a few classes, see if my books matched up with what they're teaching."
Darcy laughed. "I can't believe you… Sneaking into NYU. What're you doing, sitting behind the tallest kid in there and hoping they don't see you?"
"They're big classes. I figure they won't notice me. I'm not handing in homework, it's mostly just theoretical stuff. I just…" She sighed, her narrow shoulders slouching. "You always said I was smart, Darcy. It seems like such a waste not to use that somehow."
"You are smart," Darcy told her, swinging an arm around her shoulders. "You're probably smarter than anybody here. But what happens if they catch you?"
"They won't." Jane shook her head adamantly. "Look, I know it doesn't make sense. It's not like I'm going to walk away from here with a degree or anything. But I'm learning and I understand it. I understand what they're talking about and the things they're teaching us and it just… It feels like I belong there."
Darcy looked down at her a long moment, deep in thought. "Okay."
Jane looked up at her, brows knotted. "Okay?"
"Okay. So, you keep sneaking in and filling up that head of yours with useful stuff. Just… be careful."
"I know. I will. I—I am. I did learn a few things from you…"
Darcy grinned. "I think stealing medicine when your best friend keeps getting sick is a little different from sneaking into a school and learning. But that doesn't mean I'm not proud of you." She gave her a shake and shook her head. "How'd you get here anyway?"
"I borrowed Johnny's bike," she admitted, her cheeks flushed.
Darcy snorted. "Good. I told him to stop leaving it out for anybody to steal."
Jane's mouth ticked up with a half-smile.
As they made their way home, Jane chattered away about everything she learned and Darcy listened dutifully. She might not understand all of it, but she supported her friend, and that was all that mattered.
1939
"Darcy, are you sure you're allowed to be here?"
"When's that ever stopped me?" Darcy wondered, her brow raised.
"It's a gym…" Jane reminded. "These people are trained to fight."
"Then they shouldn't feel too threatened by a girl," she offered with a shrug, pushing open the door of Goldie's gym and walking inside with all the confidence she'd ever had.
It would be an understatement to say she drew attention. Even wearing a pair of her brother's pants and a loose-fitting button up shirt, it was hard to miss Darcy in a crowd. She bypassed the fellas and made her way up the stairs to where the man in charge was.
Jane scurried after her, chin raised high, and walked into the office mid-conversation.
"—a little too top heavy to be playing in these rings, toots," she heard a man scoff.
"I'm not planning on playing. Look, I'm not asking you to train me. I'm asking you what it costs for me to come here whenever I want and take some frustration out on the bags."
"Yeah? You got a hard life? Your hair not curl right today?"
Darcy stood a little taller. "You want my money or you just gonna sit around like a lump thinkin' up shitty comments? 'Cause I can take my business elsewhere if tits scare you so damn much."
The man leaned forward in his chair, eyeing her up. It wasn't the predatory look Jane had seen a lot of men give Darcy in the past, though, it was assessing. "You ever throw a punch before?"
The grin Darcy offered was shark-like. "A few," she said.
Jane snorted. When the man's eyes turned in her direction, she gathered up her gumption and said, "Darcy's been knocking people's teeth out since I met her. She's tougher than she looks. And you'd be lucky to have her here."
"Lucky's being nice. I don't plan on making friends. I just want to pay my dues and use a bag here or there." Reaching into her pocket, Darcy came up with money. "Now. We got a deal or you wanna measure your dick some more?"
He stared at her a moment longer, and then, in a blink, he grinned. "Ya got balls, girl." He held a hand out for her money. "We'll see how long they take to drop, huh?"
Darcy merely grinned, turning on her heel and walking out.
It wasn't long before she was a regular sight at Goldie's. And it didn't take the other guys too long to warm up to her, offering her tips on how to hold her arms and how to swing right. Sure, some of them hit on her, asked her out for drinks, but Darcy was focused. She wanted to fight, to let out some of her frustration at life and what it had given her, and Jane understood that.
Darcy wanted out of Brooklyn, out of her mother's apartment, but it didn't look like that was going to happen anytime soon, so she channeled that want and anger into something else.
She was a beautiful sight to see, too. Her footwork improved, the power behind each swing of her fist, the single-minded attention she put into decimating an opponent, and she'd had a few. The boys started lining up when she entered the ring, wanting to see what she had to give, to test her, maybe even to bring her down a peg. And they got their licks in, but she was no china doll. Darcy was a force to be reckoned with.
Truth be told, Jane had always seen something a little dark in Darcy, a little rough around the edges. She could be prickly, she could do and say the things that other didn't, or wouldn't, and she didn't take shit from anybody. She was a woman in a time when that didn't carry much weight beyond how pretty a face could be. But she didn't let that hold her back. She was tough and loud and she would crawl her way to the top if that's what it took to get the respect she deserved. Jane admired her for that, even as she wondered where the top was and where Darcy was headed, and if she'd really be along for the ride.
1942
For months now, the Lewis family was glued to the radio, eager to hear every awful detail about the war that America was now a part of.
Jane sat on the arm of the chair Darcy was slouched in, watching her best friend chew on her thumb, her browed furrowed in contemplation. She could see the wheels turning in Darcy's head and wanted to ask what she was thinking and planning. But Edna and Johnny were there and she knew that whatever Darcy had on her mind, they wouldn't approve of. So she stood, nodding her head toward Darcy's bedroom door, and the two of them slunk away.
"Well?" Jane asked, taking a seat on the edge of Darcy's bed, watching her friend as she began to pace.
"We should do something."
"Like what? Join the factories? I heard they're hiring on women to replace all the men going overseas…"
Darcy shook her head. "No, we should be out there, fighting this fight," she claimed, stabbing a hand as if to encompass all of Europe.
"Darcy… Listen, I agree with you. But there aren't a whole lot of opportunities out there for us to help. I… I mean, we can join up as nurses or we can work in the factories. It's not right and it's not fair, but what are we supposed to do?"
"We figure out another way. C'mon, Jane, you got that big brain of yours, put it to good use. There's gotta be another way for us to join this fight…" Darcy shook her head, reaching up to run her fingers through her hair, pulling on it. "I'm a good fighter. It's not fair that I can't join up and serve just like anybody else."
Jane stared up at her, nodding faintly. "You're right, women deserve just as many rights as men do. And if anybody could end a war, it'd be you."
Darcy's lips twitched in a faint smile. "I know I'm getting worked up and it's not solving anything, but that's what you're here for. You're the one that keeps her head, right? I'm the bull that runs in, horns first, and doesn't think about the consequences. It's why we work so good together."
"You just want to do what's right," Jane murmured. "You always have… And I know you, Darcy, you'll find a way to be a part of this, to help, you always do."
Darcy nodded. "Listen, I think I'm gonna head down to Goldie's, work some of this off… You wanna come?"
The gym wasn't Jane's favorite place; the smell and the noise was distracting, making it hard for her to focus on her reading, which was all she got up to while the others were working out.
"Come on, I'll show you how to throw a left hook," Darcy cajoled.
Half-smiling, she nodded. "Sure. Why not," she agreed.
They left the apartment arm in arm and headed on down to the gym. Jane had no illusions that she'd ever be in fighting form, but if it helped Darcy get her mind off the war, then she'd do whatever it took. As she stood back, listening to Darcy try to teach her, demonstrating how to move her feet and her arms and how to adjust her body for maximum effect, Jane watched her and realized that what she'd said before hadn't just been to soothe Darcy's frayed nerves. One way or another, Darcy would find a way into the war, which meant so would she.
1943
"This is complete bullshit," Darcy muttered, her feet eating up pavement as she stalked away from the recruitment area.
Jane hurried to keep up with her. "You can't be surprised. This is the fourth time we've tried to join up. And the fourth time we've been rejected."
"Thank you, Jane, I musta lost count," she snapped irritably.
Jane frowned. "Don't take it out on me, I was rooting for you."
Sighing, she rolled her eyes. "I know. I'm just… tired of being told I can't do anything but look pretty or work in a factory. I can probably take and throw a hit better than half the guys lined up out there, but they're gonna take them just because of what's between their legs." She turned on her heel, stopping abruptly and stared at Jane squarely. "Do you get that? You and me, all we are to them is what's in our pants. You are the smartest, kindest person I have ever known, Jane, and these assholes never see that. They never take the chance to get to know you. If they'd just shut up for a minute, they'd realize how brilliant you are. I mean, god damn it, you've been studying at NYU, soaking up all that astro-junk for six years and you're never gonna get to tell anybody that. You'll never work in some lab somewhere, examining stars or whatever the hell you want, because we are dirt poor, and women on top of it." She choked out a laugh. "You have had the world shit on you from the second you were born, never letting you grow, sick every other day of the week, and you still get up, every day, and you face this world with a smile. You still go to those classes even though you know you won't ever get to do anything with that big brain of yours, and this whole damn world is the worse for it." She shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes. "Well I'm not gonna let it stop me. I'll learn to shoot on my own, I'll fly a damn plane in there on my own, I will win this war without any men at my back, and I won't let them tell me different." She reached out, her hands falling to Jane's shoulders, and she squeezed as she told her, "And don't you let anybody tell you different either, you hear me?"
Jane stared up at her, her throat tight and burning, and she nodded. "Yeah, yeah, Darcy, I do."
"Good." She nodded abruptly and then released her. With a sigh, she said, "Listen, I heard from one of the boys down the block that he's headed over to Washington tomorrow. I asked him if I could hitch a ride with him, try the recruitment offices over there. I'd ask you to come, but I know you don't like to miss classes."
"No, it's fine…" Jane nodded, half-smiling. "I suppose I might not see you then. If you get recruited, you'll probably be shipped out, no warning."
Darcy shrugged. "I don't know. I suppose I could be."
"Well, just in case…" Jane lurched forward and wrapped her arms around Darcy, hugging her tight. "I know you think the world wasn't fair to me. I know you think I got the short end of the stick. But whatever the world did wrong, it made up for it when it brought you into my life. You're my best friend, Darcy. And I'll take all the rest of it just for that."
Darcy shook her head, squeezed her a little tighter, and then released her. She chucked Jane on the chin then, her eyes watery. "You deserve better, Janey." With that and a wink, Darcy turned on her heel and walked away.
Jane watched her go, her brow furrowed, one of her hands balled up into a fist, and she just couldn't shake the feeling that Darcy wasn't coming back.
Swallowing back the fear that climbed up her throat, she turned on her heel and started back toward the NYU campus, her mind distracted, enough that she didn't notice the man sitting at a table outside the café, paper in hand, his brow furrowed thoughtfully as he overheard their whole conversation.
Jane was still distracted after class ended, worried and concerned that Darcy would finally get what she wanted. She'd been rooting for her, of course she had, but that didn't mean she didn't understand the ramifications of Darcy going to war. She might not come back. The very idea was like a lead ball in her stomach. She left her class and crossed the campus in a daze, sitting down on a bench, her hands bunching up in the skirt of her dress.
"Are you all right, miss?"
Blinking, she turned, searching for a face to the voice, and found an older gentlemen sitting beside her, wearing spectacles and digging a swath of fabric from the pocket of his jacket. He handed it to her, telling her, "You're crying."
"Oh. Oh!" She took the fabric and wiped at her face. "I'm not usually like this. I… I'm sorry."
He shook his head. "Perfectly fine. Difficult class?" he wondered.
She glanced at him and then back toward the school. "No. No, astrophysics is probably the less complicated part of my life."
He choked out a laugh, his brows raised. "Is that right?"
Jane shrugged. "Science, math, physics, all of that comes easy to me. It's real life that's difficult. Knowing when to make the right choice, what the right thing is… Supporting someone even though you know it'll break your heart to do it…" She shook her head. "I've always prided myself on being logical. But people, people are so illogical. They do things, dangerous things, and they make choices, foolhardy choices, that put themselves in danger. They go out into this world thinking that they can't be hurt, that they're untouchable, and they're not… They think they have any idea how hard this world is and they don't. There are people who do terrible things, people who make all the wrong choices, and there are others who try to counter that, to balance it out, and sometimes I just wish I could shake them." She swiped at her face again and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry. You don't even know me, you were just being polite, and I've taken advantage of that."
"No, no," he said, shaking his head. "Please, I don't mind." He held a hand out then. "Doctor Abraham Erksine," he introduced himself. "And you are?"
"Jane Foster," she answered, taking and shaking his hand. "Do you work here at NYU then?"
He smiled briefly. "No, no, it has been a long time since I have spent any time teaching…"
"Oh…" Her brow furrowed. "I'm not sure I understand. Are you just visiting the campus or… do you have family here?"
He hummed, shaking his head. "To be honest with you, Miss Foster, I am here to speak with you."
"You… are…?" She tipped her head, eyeing him curiously.
"Please, do not be alarmed…"
"Of a man that doesn't know me, seeking me out, with a suspiciously foreign accent?" She raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"I am from Queens. 73rd Street and Utopia Parkway," he answered, "And before that, Germany. Does that bother you?"
"Being from Germany doesn't bother me. Combined with the fact that you're on a campus where some of the brightest minds study and that you're looking for me specifically, that concerns me."
"And yet you are still here, and have not sounded the alarm," he said, with no small bit of amusement tinging his voice.
"I was taught never to pre-judge people, so I won't do so to you. But I will ask for clarification on why you're looking for me…" She stared at him searchingly. "Who are you?"
"I am who I said I am. Doctor Erksine." He tipped his chin down. "And who, Miss Foster, are you?"
Her brow furrowed. "I… I'm no one."
"I beg to differ." He tsked. "You are the same Jane Foster who has visited four different recruitment offices, yes? In the company of a… Miss Darcy Lewis?"
Jane sat up a little straighter, swallowing tightly. "I am. How did you know that?"
"Miss Lewis demanded that she be examined for recruitment and was found fit… She would have been reporting for duty immediately if it were not for the fact that she is a woman…" He paused then before he added, "You, however, are a different matter. Frankly, from the records, it is a surprise that you have lived this long."
She huffed out a laugh. "So I've heard."
"And yet… you have continued to attempt to join the United States Army… You must truly want to kill Nazis for such dedication, Miss Foster."
Her humor faded abruptly then, her mouth turning down in a frown. "No. No, that's not true."
"You do not want to join the ARMY?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.
"Yes, I do, but I don't… I don't want to kill anyone."
He hummed. "I am afraid I'm not sure you know what people do in wars then."
She sighed. "That's not what I meant. Of course I know that people will die in this war, Nazis and American troops alike. What I meant was that I'm not trying to join the ARMY just to kill people, Nazi or otherwise." She shook her head. "I… My whole life has been a battle, always against a new bully that wants to force me into bending to their will. It started out on the playground, but it's only grown bigger since then… I look around me and I realize that all of this is a war. I've already been at war. To survive, to be taken seriously, to stand among others and learn just as I deserve to. And when this war came to our front door, did I want to fight? Of course I did. But not because I wanted people to die. Not because I want to kill anyone. I want to fight because it's the right thing to do. I don't care who that fight is against. All I know is that my best friend is willing to lay her life down on the line to stand up for what she thinks is right, and she should be allowed to do that. Just like me. I should be allowed to stand up against this bully and say no."
He stared at her a long moment, mouth tilting faintly. "And what, Miss Foster, would you say, if I told you that you that there was a chance you could?"
"I… I don't understand. Are you from the recruitment office? I didn't know they made personal visits…"
He smiled fully then. "For most, they do not. But you, I believe, may just be special."
"Well, that'd be the first time a doctor said that to me without adding, 'You almost certainly should have died from that.'"
He chuckled lightly. "A first time for everything then."
Turning, she looked at him curiously. "So what is this chance, then?"
"I represent the Strategic Scientific Reserve team of the United State ARMY. And if you would like, I can approve you for training. There, we will test your mettle, yes?"
Jane stared at him a long moment, considering his offer, and she thought of Darcy. Darcy who told her to remember who she was and to take opportunities as they were offered to her. To make the best of everything life had to offer and to always stare it square in the face. She lifted her chin and she answered, "Yes."
Boot camp was not what Jane thought it would be. Oh, it was exhausting, painful, and definitely one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do, but there was also a peculiar sense of loneliness when she was the only woman in camp besides Agent Carter, a no-nonsense kind of woman who had obviously earned her place in the military. Jane admired her for that alone. However, seeing her put Hodge on his ass ratcheted that respect up a notch further. She reminded Jane of Darcy, and, in Jane's books, anybody like Darcy was worth knowing.
Colonel Phillips was not happy to have her and he made it clear from the beginning, but he hadn't ordered her off his base, and she took that for the opportunity she believed it to be. So Jane trained, she worked her body past what it had ever been able to do before. And sure, sometimes, sleeping in the barracks bereft of anyone else, she cried herself to sleep. Because it hurt; every bone, every strand of hair, every inch of her skin, hurt. But she got up every morning, just like the rest of them, she lifted her chin, she ignored their sneering and jeering, and she told herself she would prove to them exactly what kind of person she was.
She just wished Darcy was there. Not to fight her battles for her, though she was sure Darcy would try, and probably win, but to have that friendship, that support that Darcy had always been. She missed Darcy's back against her own as she slept; she even missed her snoring. And when the days were hard, when every inch of her told her to just give up, when she was knee deep in mud or wheezing out a lung from running, she thought of her. She asked herself, 'what would Darcy do if she was there?,' and then she gathered up her strength and she kept running and kept crawling and kept going. She would not be stopped. She would not give up. She would persevere.
There was no other option.
"You're not really thinking about picking Foster, are you?" Colonel Phillips asked, as he and Erksine crossed the field of dried yellow grass, en route to where Carter had the trainees doing push-ups.
Erkine readjusted his glasses as he answered, "I wasn't just thinking about it. She is the clear choice."
"When you brought a ninety pound asthmatic woman onto my army base, I tried to be understanding. Frankly, I'm surprised she lasted this long. She's small enough, the boys could've chewed her up and picked their teeth with her after… But I figured, what the hell? Maybe you'd see the error of your ways, thinking this tiny little woman could do anything that our men could…"
"And she has. She has done everything your men have and more."
"Are you talking about the flag?" Phillips snorted. "Didn't you say that woman was a mathematician or something before you found her? She used her brain to get her outta that one."
"I said she was studying astrophysics. She is… an incredibly bright woman."
"Smart, I get it, so why in the hell are you training her for the trenches and not one of your labs?"
"Because… Foster is not only a bright mind. She has a good heart. She has a good purpose. And who, of anyone here, will they overlook in their bid for domination, hm? Are you going to assume that a woman is capable of crippling your army?"
Phillips turned to look at him, mouth set in a frown. "You stick a needle in that girl, it's gonna go through her."
He shook his head. "What I need for this is not just physical strength or body mass. If we are to give such strength to someone, do you not want to be sure that it is the right person? That they will be doing this for the right reasons?"
Phillips glowered at him, asking quietly, "Do you know how long it took to set up this project? All the groveling I had to do in front of Senator What's-his-name's committee?"
"Brandt." He nodded. "Yes, I know. I am well aware of your efforts."
"Then throw me a bone… Hodge passed every test we gave him. He's big, he's fast. He obeys. He's a soldier."
"He is a bully," Erksine said simply.
Phillips scoffed. "You don't win wars with niceness, doctor. You win wars with guts." He looked past him to the truck and reached into one of the boxes, coming up with a grenade. He pulled the pin, released the arm, and tossed it toward the men doing jumping jacks. "Grenade!" he warned.
The men quickly scattered, yelling at each other to take cover.
Jane did not. She threw herself on top of it and yelled, "Get back. Five meters! Take cover."
Phillips stared at her a long minute, listening to her mutter under her breath about equations, blast radius, how much of her body mass might help in keeping the blowout contained. Slowly, as hearts began to slow down, he could hear someone yell out that it was a dummy grenade, and Foster began to unfurl from the coil she'd made herself into atop the grenade.
Phillips could feel Erksine looking up at him, grinning. With a scowl, he said, "She's still skinny."
Jane thought it was rather fitting that even now she was still reading instead of joining the others. A few had softened up to her since her brave show of guts in trying to take the grenade for all of them, while others, Hodge especially, were still standoffish. She didn't join the war effort to make friends, however. She joined to make a difference.
At a knock on the door, she startled. No one ever visited, keeping their distance from her, finding her foreign in this land of testosterone and war. She couldn't say she didn't appreciate the time to herself sometimes. Even if the reading wasn't as scientific as she was used to.
When the door opened, it was Erksine who poked his head in. "May I?"
She nodded, motioning to the empty bed across from hers.
"Can't sleep?" Erksine asked as he crossed the room.
"Nerves," she answered. "It's a funny thing. Usually I'm the one telling others not to do anything too dangerous. To think before they act. But when I saw that grenade fall, all I could think was that some of these men had families. I ran the numbers in my head, told myself that I could at least take most of the hit. I'm small, but… I was enough."
He nodded, humming to himself, and unrolled the mattress on the bed before he sat, a bottle in his hands. "You have had a busy day," he agreed.
"A busy week," she corrected. "It feels longer, but…"
"The important things often do."
She shook her head disagreeably. "Maybe sometimes. It depends on what a person thinks is important. Some days, good days, they matter, but they go by in a blink. And other things, they feel like they never quite end."
"That is true."
"I never really asked, but I've always wondered… Why'd you come looking for me?" Jane looked over to him curiously. "You said yourself that if Darcy hadn't been a woman, the ARMY would've snatched her up immediately. So why not chase her down? Why come looking for me instead?"
"Miss Lewis was an admirable candidate, but there were certain… characteristics that I was looking for specifically."
Jane stared at him searchingly, her brow furrowed. "Such as?"
"You said that you were usually the calm one, the one who took time to consider the consequences…"
She nodded.
"I take it that Miss Lewis is not that sort? Perhaps she is more… rash."
Jane smiled then. "She's… unpredictable sometimes. Quick to react. Oh, she always does it for the benefit of someone else. She… She'd lay her own life down to save me, any day of the week. But, she doesn't always think of what happens after."
Erksine nodded. "But you do."
"Maybe it's all the time I've spent in and out of hospitals, but yes, I know that safety matters."
"And today, when you put yourself in harm's way… Where was safety then?"
She opened her mouth to answer and paused. "I… It wasn't that I didn't worry about myself or that I acted without thinking. I did think and my conclusion was that it would safer for all involved if I did what I did…"
"A hero thinks of others."
"I was thinking of everyone." She frowned. "It's not heroic. It was just the right thing to do."
He stared at her a long moment and then dropped his gaze to the bottle in his hand. "You asked me why I chose you… I suppose that is the only question that matters…" He tipped the bottle forward. "This is from Augsburg, my city. So many people forget that the first country the Nazis invaded was their own. You know, after the last war, there… my people struggled. They— They felt weak. They felt small. And then Hitler comes along with the marching and the big show, and the flags, and the, and the… And he, he hears of me, my work, and he finds me. And he says, 'You,' he says, 'You will make us strong.' Well…" He held his hands up and then placed the bottle on the ground between is feet. "I am not interested. So he sends the head of HYDRA, his research division, a brilliant scientist by the name of Johann Schmidt. Now Schmidt is a member of the inner circle and he is ambitious. He and Hitler share a passion for occult power and Teutonic myth. Hitler uses his fantasies to inspire his followers. But for Schmidt, it is not fantasy. For him, it is real. He has become convinced that there is a great power hidden in the earth, left here by the gods, waiting to be seized by a superior man. So when he hears about my formula and what it can do... he cannot resist… Schmidt must become that superior man."
Jane frowned. "Did it work? Was he made… superior?"
"It made him strong, yes. But there were other... effects." He shook his head. "The serum was not ready. But more important... the man. The serum amplifies everything that is inside, so good becomes great. Bad becomes worse."
Jane took a deep breath, leaning back a little, her hands on her knees.
Erksine stared at her a long moment, nodding as he said, "This is why you were chosen… Because a strong man who has known power all his life, may lose respect for that power. But a weak person knows the value of strength. And knows... compassion."
Jane considered his words, letting them roll around in her mind. "Weak of body doesn't mean weak of mind or character," she murmured thoughtfully.
"Exactly," Erksine agreed with a grin. He waved toward two glasses left on a munitions box at the end of her bed and she reached for them, holding them out. He unscrewed the cap from the bottle and poured them each a glass. "Whatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing…" He recapped the bottle, put it on the floor, and accepted his glass from her before he took a deep breath and looked at her sincerely. "That you will stay who you are… Not a perfect soldier, but a good person."
She smiled then, and raised her glass in cheers.
"No, no, wait, wait. What am I doing? No, you have procedure tomorrow. No fluids," Erksine announced, reaching over and taking her glass from her.
"Oh. Well, I've never been a strong drinker anyway. Maybe after? A celebratory drink?"
"No, I don't have procedure tomorrow," he disagreed, pouring her drink into his glass. "Drink it after? Drink it now." He hummed as he took a long draw and then raised a finger. "Oh, and, before I forget…" He reached over and plucked a folder from the munitions box. "Your friend, Darcy Lewis… She was recruited to join the WFTD, the Women's Flying Training Detachment… It seems that you were right after all, Miss Lewis has found her way into the war. If she makes it through the training, she will be piloting military aircrafts for the United States ARMY. Good news, yes?"
Jane smiled, slow and proud. "There is no 'if' with Darcy. She'll train and then she'll turn this whole war on its head."
"Here is hoping," he agreed, pouring himself another glass.
[Next: Part Two.]
Author's Note: So, this happened... I saw a prompt for this on fuckyeahdarcylewis and it's been niggling at my brain. The majority of this story is finished, so I'm eager to share it with you and I'm hoping you're as eager to read it.
There's a ton more Darcy in the next chapter, when they're reunited. While I know a lot of this focuses on Jane, it's all set-up, and you see a lot more of Darcy bleed through as it goes on until it becomes more about her story. This will cover The First Avenger, some of Avengers, Winter Soldier, and beyond, but it won't repeat huge chunks of the movie so much as fit itself around those events and mold bits and pieces to this new history, skimming over the stuff that's not as important to this plot. By the time we hit Winter Soldier, Darcy will begin taking over the narrative. So please, if you're with me for Darcy, stick with me!
For anybody curious about where Steve and Bucky are, they're in the future, as they've only kind of switched places with Darcy and Jane, because I did want to stay close the characters rather than just steal that background, which is why Jane still loves astrophysics and is a genius. Which means that Steve and Bucky are not an astrophysicist and his intern! But we'll talk more about that when we get to chapter 3, where we move into Avengers territory. :)
Thank you all for reading! Please leave a review; they're my lifeblood!
- Lee | Fina