This is a one-shot that I came up with after watching The Doctor's Wife for the first time in a long while the other night. I bet I'm not the first person to come up with this concept; I'm sure there are plenty of other Doctor/Rose fans out there who may have thought this up. I've been out of the fandom for so long now that I'm playing catch up. That and I need something to distract me from my looming A Levels.

Also, I've ignored the final part of the episode when the TARDIS pulls down the lever once Amy and Rory are gone in a sign that she can hear the Doctor. I thought about trying to put it in, but it just seemed irrelevant and wouldn't fit.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Sorry if it's not my best; I'm not used to writing Eleven and I'm still getting back into writing for Who again.

- Emma ;)

~oOo~

The Doctor continued to swing on his make-shift seat, fiddling and fixing things, underneath the TARDIS console as he watched Amy and Rory walk towards the corridor, off to find their new room. He waited a while before removing the goggles that sat on his head, throwing them in a box sat on the floor, before jumping off from his swing and making his way towards the central column above.

He sighed. It was often boring and quiet when the Ponds' went to bed and he was left alone and he often couldn't help his mind from wandering. It was a dangerous thing, that, to let his mind wander with no-one around to distract him with yet another question to which the answer was so bleeding obvious: at least to him.

Thankfully, his mind didn't wander much further than the question he had been asked by his friends before they went to bed: do you have a room, Doctor?

Yes, he did – or at least he had – a room. God knows where it was now. Maybe he didn't even had one. It was so rarely used that he was starting to wonder whether or not the TARDIS had made him a new one or not. Maybe she wouldn't bother. Maybe, instead, she'd put a bed down out here somewhere for when his rare moments of sleep actually came. Or maybe he'd just lay on the sofa in the library.

He hoped there was still a library.

It was then that his mind started to wander further. The House had purged all the rooms when it had taken over the TARDIS. The Doctor's hearts sank at the thought. So many memories that he would never get back. He may not be a man that liked to look back, but he was a man who held onto the past regardless of how much it hurt. But now some of that past had been taken away.

He knew there was no way to restore the rooms he had lost. He tried to tell himself that it was for the best; now he could finally let go of the past. So many rooms containing so many memories. Now the memories would just be in his head, there was no longer anything physical to remind himself of the days gone by.

Like he kept telling himself, though, it was probably for the best.

…

Amy was half dragging Rory down the corridors of the TARDIS, looking this way and that, trying to find something that might resemble their room.

They had already tried about six doors on their way; both of them knowing that none of them were theirs. They had found the kitchen, three bathrooms, a closet of some description and the library. So, if anything, The Doctor would be happy.

It was then that they came across the seventh door.

"What's wrong?" Rory asked, sensing that something wasn't right as Amy stood there a look of confusion written all over her face.

"This door."

"Yes…it's a door." Rory said bluntly.

"No, look at it."

"It's made of wood."

"And?"

"And there's a carving on the door… Amy, I don't –"

But his wife cut him off mid flow. "The Doctor said House had purged the rooms, right? All of them. So why does this door look used and older than the rest?"

Rory looked from her to the door and back again. He then stepped closer to the door and inspected the carving engraved on a small wooden plaque. The carvings looked familiar; both of them had seen similar shapes on the screen in the console room. They would never translate and nor was this which meant…

"Amy, is this The Doctor's language?" Rory asked.

"Looks like it. I wonder what it says." She mused.

"Maybe we should go and ask The Doctor?" Rory suggested.

"Nah, he's busy tinkering or doing whatever it is he does when we're not there. Plus, he's been through a lot emotionally today." Amy told him. "Tell you what, why don't we have a look inside?"

"Amy, we can't. It's not our place to."

"Oh come on," Amy whined. "Think about it: this door looks as though it's seen better days; it's here even after House purged all the rooms; there's something interesting about this room and, I don't know about you, but I'm dying to find out what it is."

"Oh alright, but if we get caught, it's your fault." Rory said looking pointedly at her.

Amy just smiled one of her winning smiles at him; one which she always wore when getting her way. Rory didn't know of anyone who could say no to her when she did that: not even The Doctor and most certainly not himself.

Amy then proceeded to open the door, Rory close behind her. The door slowly swung open into a darkened room. Amy and Rory stepped inside, Rory feeling the wall for a light switch. Finally he found one and flicked the switched, illuminating the room.

It was just an ordinary bedroom, but it looked as though it hadn't been used for a rather long time. It wasn't tidy, however; at least, not in the sense that someone had come in and cleared it out. There were pictures and trinkets on the desk; pictures on the wall; clothes in the wardrobe, even some on the bed. Whoever had been in this room in the past clearly hadn't expected to leave so soon.

Amy went over to the bedside table and picked up a small picture frame. She didn't recognise either of the two people in the picture. One was a tall, slim man, in a brown pinstriped suit with converse. His hair was brown and wild, but it was the smile on the man's face that caught Amy's attention; he looked so happy. There was something in that smile that was so familiar yet so unfamiliar. She then looked across at the blonde girl who the man had his arms around. Like, him, she looked so happy, a beaming smile lighting up her features.

"Who are they?" Rory asked coming up to his wife and looking at the picture over her shoulder.

"I don't know, but they look so happy."

"Reminds me of us." Rory stated and as Amy looked at the photo, she could see what he meant. She smiled down at the picture when she realised that the man wasn't looking at the camera but rather was looking at the girl at his side. Rory was right, it did remind them of them. The smiles on their faces, the looks in their eyes, it was all there. It was the same looks and smiles that she and Rory had worn on their wedding day. Whoever these two people were, they were clearly in love with each other and it made her wonder what had happened to them. How close had The Doctor been to them?

It was then that an almost random thought came into Amy's head:

"Wait a minute, if they were together, then why does this room look like it was only occupied by one person?" She asked.

Rory was about to answer when another voice came from behind interrupting him before he could even get his first word out:

"Because they weren't together."

Both Rory and Amy turned to see The Doctor standing in the doorway. He was leaning on the doorframe, his eyes dark with something which Amy could only think of as a mixture of sadness and longing.

"We weren't together."

"We?" Rory asked forgetting about the relationship status of the two in the photo for a moment and focusing in on that one important pronoun.

"Yes 'we'." The Doctor said, stepping inside the room properly, walking towards Amy and taking the photo off of her and looking down at it. "That's me and an old friend of mine."

"That's you?" Amy asked, confusing written all over her face. Rory looked the same.

"Yes, that is me."

"Doesn't look like you." Rory said.

"Regeneration." Was all The Doctor said as an answer. It was clear that he didn't really want to be here talking to them about what they had found. There was something about the way The Doctor only gave short answers and kept his focus straight on the picture in his hands that told the two of them that, whatever this was, it was a very difficult subject for him to talk about.

Deciding that it was best to just accept this man in the picture to be The Doctor, Amy asked another question:

"What happened to her?" Amy asked gently.

The Doctor sat down on the bed beside him and gave a quiet sigh before he spoke. As he did, he never once looked up at Amy and Rory who had come to sit down either side of him; he just couldn't bear to look at their faces and see them see him this way.

"I lost her." He started. "We were in the Battle of Canary Wharf and things got complicated. I knew I had to save her and her family, so I sent them to a parallel world where the Cybermen had come from while I sucked both the Daleks and Cybermen back into the Void. I knew I would lose her, but I knew she would be safe. I told myself that I had done the right thing." The Doctor took in a breath before continuing. "But she came back; stubborn as ever. She didn't want to leave me. I told her, I told her that she would never be able to see her family again once the Breach had closed, sealing the other world off completely, but she was having none of it. In actual fact, I was glad she was with me; I never wanted to send her away in the first place.

"Then we set these clamps on the wall, pulled the levers to open the Void and watched as the Daleks and Cybermen fell into the Void. It was going so well, but her lever started to fall back into its offline position and she did everything she could to get it back upright. I was yelling at her to hold on, and she tried, she really tried, but her fingers slipped and before I knew it she was falling towards the Void.

"Her parallel father came and saved her and I watched as he took her back to the other world. A second later the Breach closed and I knew she was gone."

"Oh God, Doctor I'm sorry." Amy said, giving her friend a hug in comfort. He didn't hug her back and continued his tale.

He continued to talk about how he had found a way to say goodbye to her; told them how he had burnt up a sun just to say goodbye to his pink and yellow girl.

"And then I was cut off…my last sentence to her never finished. I thought I would never get to tell her the one thing she needed to hear. But I was given a second chance…and I blew it. Again." The Doctor couldn't help but let a tear fall from his eye. He didn't even bother to wipe it away. He knew he was going to have to finish telling them about this; he hadn't wanted to talk to them about this, not now, not ever, but yet here he was and now that he was, he knew it owed it to the two people sitting next to him to tell them the rest and how he had blown his second and final chance.

So he did.

He continued to talk about the Daleks, the planets in the sky, the half human him and the second time at the beach.

"I knew that I had to convince her that he was still me, despite only having one heart and a limited lifespan. She didn't want to accept it at first, but then she asked me about the last thing I said to her. I knew what she wanted to know and I knew that I should tell her; that she deserved to hear me say it. But I couldn't, so I told her that it didn't need saying and so she turned to the other me and asked him. And of course he told her, he whispered it in her ear and as he went to kiss him, the only thing I could do was walk away and not look back." The Doctor took in a deep breath. "I missed all the chances I was given. I always do. And now she's gone. I just hope that she's happy now. I hope, when it comes down to it, that I did the right thing. Not for me, but for her."

No one said anything for a long while. The Doctor had long since finished, but neither Amy nor Rory knew what to say to him. They had had no idea that he had ever felt this way about anyone before and they were surprised at how open he had just been. Whenever they tried to ask him anything about his past before, he shut himself off, trying to avoid the subject altogether. But this time he had decided to open up fully. Maybe he knew it was time to let go of the past.

Eventually Amy spoke, breaking the silence.

"What was the last thing you wanted to say to her?" He hadn't said what he had wanted to say and Amy had a feeling she knew what it was, but she wanted to hear The Doctor say it. She wanted him to feel he could say it and maybe find it in himself to find some closure out of it. However, he reverted back to his old ways and jumped up off the bed and looked at the two of them, the darkness from his eyes mostly gone now.

"Come along Ponds! It's time we got you to your room." He made to walk off, but neither Amy nor Rory followed him.

"Doctor, what was her name?" Amy called after him.

The Doctor stopped in his tracks, his back to them for a few seconds, before turning round to face them.

"Her name was Rose." His eyes clouded over with tears once more, but he refused to let one of them fall. Amy gave him a sad smile before she and Rory made their way out of the room and walked down the corridor, leaving The Doctor standing by the door.

Once he knew they were gone, The Doctor looked around the room with a sad smile on his face. It had been so long since he had last seen inside this room. It then crossed his mind that it shouldn't even be here, not after House had left. But here it was, exactly the way he remembered it the last time he had seen it. The Doctor looked up and wondered if the TARDIS had somehow had something to do with this. He smiled at the thought of his ship somehow saving this one room with everything that she had and his thoughts wandered back to the events of the past day. Oh how he wished he could talk to her right now and ask.

The Doctor then closed the door to Rose's room before letting his finger trace the carvings on the plaque with a small smile on his face. It was her name in Gallifreyan, or so that was what he had told her at the time. What it actually said was only known to him. It did say her name, but it said something else as well. It was carved with the words he never got to say to her; the words that she hoped she knew.

He then looked up at his ship again and whispered the words 'thank you' before walking off down the corridor to find Amy and Rory. He was keen to see what their new room looked like; he was still half hoping that there would be bunk beds, there was nothing better than a bed with a ladder, after all.

He may never know exactly how Rose's room had come to still be here, but he was glad that it was and it made him swell with happiness at the thought that the TARDIS, his one continuous friend over the last seven-hundred years, had somehow managed to preserve it, defying the impossible.

The little hum in his mind only made him smile more.