So... No excuses... I will only say that Thorin made me...
It seemed like they had been walking forever, with the Carrock far behind them and ahead what seemed like acres of empty fields and woodland.
If anyone cared to pay attention they would have noticed that Bilbo was walking quite happily with a soft smile constantly tugging at his lips, and a spring in his step that most of his companions were missing, but no one noticed.
No one that is except Thorin Oakenshield, exiled King-Under-the-Mountain, who suddenly found that he was acutely aware of the hobbits every move. He hadn't missed, when he had embraced the smaller creature, the way Bilbo's eyes had lit up as if the dwarf had given him the whole of Middle Earth. Nor had he missed the way the gesture had been returned unconditionally.
Walking alongside Gandalf Thorin glanced behind him for what was probably the tenth time.
"He's still there." The wizard said with a soft laugh.
"They all are." The dwarf huffed, cheeks reddening as Gandalf looked knowingly down at him. "Of course I'm concerned about the halfling; he may suffer some ill effects from being in those caves under Goblin Town…"
"I assure you my friend; Master Baggins is suffering no ill effects."
Oakenshield nodded and resisted looking behind him yet again. They walked on, each keeping their own thoughts and counsel, until a shout from Kili startled them.
"A river! Thorin, can we stop and take a rest?"
Nodding dark dwarf looked down into the cool and enticing water.
"Now might be a good time to wash away the goblin filth we have no doubt carried with us." He said, glancing away at the sky. "And maybe set up camp for the evening, its close enough to the end of the day."
With a grin Bombur hurried off, calling back something about catching fish for supper. The rest laid down their weapons and the few meagre belongings they managed to salvage in their flight from the goblins, then stripped off their clothes and strode into the river.
Bilbo had first seen his companions naked within days of starting their quest, proving the rumours that they were filthy and uncouth beings untrue, and since then the sight of bathing dwarves had become commonplace - whenever there was an opportunity to bathe, and while the weather remained good, it was something of a ritual – one that the hobbit found wonderfully pleasing.
Having scrubbed himself clear with quick, quiet efficiency the hobbit sat on the bank and watched from under his lashes as Thorin pulled himself out of the water to sit on a rock not three feet away from him.
As the dwarf king raised his face to the blue sky his long dark locks flowed down his back, allowing rivulets of water to follow the sculpted lines of work-hardened muscle. Bilbo fantasised about touching that body – velvet over stone, soft flesh over solid muscle – and he had to bite his lip to prevent all his blood rushing south and embarrassing him, so he moved his gaze away from the toned torso and discovered the most disconcerting thing…
Thorin had leaned down and was now scooping up water in his hand and gently washing his feet, cleaning between his toes and massaging the soles… and Bilbo's breath caught in his throat. He had never really noticed before, but their leader had beautiful feet - small, with neatly rounded toes and not a hair in sight!
His mouth dry, Bilbo sat and stared. He had never before found feet in the least bit attractive, that is to say, hobbit feet had to be well groomed and large, but that was their basic functionality… Thorin's feet however were something quite different, pale, soft looking (those soles had none of the toughness of a hobbit's feet) and just… his mind stuttered to a standstill as he realised the object of his musings had spoken.
"Oh… er… sorry, I was miles away." He stammered, looking around to see the rest of the company had vacated the river and were now drying off in the late afternoon sun before raising his eyes to the other's face. He was unable to meet that bright blue gaze.
"I asked if there was something wrong with my feet Master Burglar, as you were staring so hard at them."
"No, no. There's nothing wrong with them, in fact they're beautiful…" Bilbo could have cut his unruly tongue out as the words escaped unbidden, but to his amazement the dwarf king chuckled.
"Beautiful eh?" he stuck his leg out and wiggled his toes, looking at them.
No amount of lip biting was going to control the hobbits blood flow this time, and he hastily hopped off his rock and back into the water.
Thorin raised his eyebrows and smirked at him.
"Taking a closer look my burglar?"
"What… no… I… what did you call me?"
A smile tugged at the pale lips.
"My burglar." The king repeated, his smile widening as the hobbit's mouth opened and closed as if to say something. "And I don't mean 'mine because you signed a contract'…" He wriggled his toes again before dipping them back into the river and using them to flick water at Bilbo.
"Oi! Stop that!"
"Make me." Thorin's deep voice was soft and seductive, and not at all in keeping with his wicked expression and childish actions as he flicked water once more.
And Bilbo was never one to turn his back on a challenge, so the next time the foot flicked out of the water he grabbed at it, his hand closing around Thorin's toes.
"Oh." He breathed softly "Oh they're as soft as they look."
If Bilbo thought the dwarf king would take exception to any part of his body being called soft he couldn't have been more wrong. Instead he wriggled his foot out of the hobbit's hold and slid it along the soft freckled skin of the hobbit's arm until it came to rest on his shoulder.
Entranced the smaller creature ran his hand over the firm instep, sliding round to cup the heel before removing the foot from his shoulder and lifting it to kiss the soft skin of the arch, all the while keeping his eyes on the dwarf.
Thorin shivered, and it had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that he was wet and naked, sitting on a rock by a river. Seeing the reaction Bilbo's own smile grew as this time his lips brushed the very tip of the king's soft and well-formed big toe, the tip of his tongue flicking out and eliciting a shuddering sigh.
"You like that?" Bilbo reached forward and grasped the other foot, repeating the treatment, his eyes wide and almost black with desire.
Thorin swallowed hard, the smile falling from his face and a growl rumbling up from his chest.
"What do you think?" he leaned back, taking his weight on his hands and displaying to Bilbo's widening eyes exactly how much he liked what the hobbit was doing.
"Oh Yavanna!"
"You like that?" Thorin neatly turned the tables. "And if that is what happens when you use your clever little mouth on my feet…"
"Thorin…"
"Come here, my burglar," Thorin slid one foot gently down Bilbo's chest, wriggling his toes and grabbing at the hobbit's soft flesh as he worked the foot around the other's waist before hooking him and urging him closer.
All of a sudden all of Bilbo's fantasies looked as if they were about to be realised – every dream he'd had of touching and tasting since that first shared bath – and there had been quite a few, some causing no little discomfort - were just two small hobbit steps from becoming reality. With that thought foremost in his mind he allowed himself to be pulled in close to the naked dwarf.
With a grin Thorin slipped off his rock seat, pulling Bilbo close so that his aching arousal slid down the hobbits soft wet body. As his feet hit the river bed he lowered his mouth and, with a kiss to the tip of his burglar's pointed ear that was more tongue than would normally be considered necessary he whispered
"I see you are enjoying this as much as I am."
Bilbo's hips rocked forwards as if to prove the dwarf's words, while his hands wandered up and down the sculpted chest and rippling muscles across Thorin's toned abdomen.
"I was right," he whispered, feeling the flesh give slightly as his eager fingers pressed against it. "Velvet over stone."
"It would seem you've taken the time to study." Thorin smirked, sliding his own, large hands down the hobbit's back, cupping his pleasantly rounded buttocks and lifting him up. "Wrap your legs around my waist." He lowered his head and let his lips brush against Bilbo's, smiling into the kiss as it was returned with fervour before bringing one hand around to grasp them both.
"Can you be quiet?" He asked as he started a slow rhythmic stroke. "We would not want to embarrass the others…"
"Or ourselves!" squeaked Bilbo as every bone in his body turned to jelly.
"Or ourselves, my burglar." Thorin agreed with a soft laugh.
Slowly the dwarf picked up the pace, the sensation of heat, friction and the cool river water heightening their senses, and Bilbo dragged his legs tighter around Thorin's waist as if he was trying to get into the dwarf king's skin.
Thorin responded by increasing the stroke, pulling his hobbit closer and leaning his head on the smaller creatures shoulder, totally invested in their mutual pleasure.
"By the God's, Thorin" Bilbo panted softly "Don't you dare stop!"
"Never, my burglar."
Neither of them lasted long. In an effort to remain quiet Bilbo sunk his teeth into Thorin's shoulder, a whine escaping from him as his orgasm shuddered through him. And Thorin was right there with him, his head thrown back as he spilled into the river with a ferocity the like of which he had never known before.
For a long time they stayed in each other's arms, breathing heavily, their foreheads pressed together, until Thorin felt a shiver run through the hobbit's body.
"Come, time for us to get dressed." He glanced up. "The sun is almost gone, it will soon be too cold to linger here."
Reluctantly pulling away, Bilbo nimbly skipped back out of the river, shaking his limb to try to get as much excess water off before pulling his clothes back on. Thorin took a little more time, wringing his hair out while he let the air dry his body, smirking as he felt Bilbo's eyes on him.
"You like what you see?"
"Very much."
Thorin nodded, leading the way to where the others had set up a camp and were happily cooking the fish Bombur had caught. Taking a seat he gestured for Bilbo to sit next to him, waiting until they had all received their food before leaning across and whispering
"Maybe I should let you play with my feet more often."
Bilbo choked, swearing that Thorin Oakenshield would be the death of him long before he managed to get within sight of Bofur's 'furnace with wings'…..