I own nothing and this is just fiction.
Please Review!!
This is my first GWTW fic, but I am an absolute fan!
This story starts off going along with some things in the Novel Scarlett... but in a couple of chapters it breaks off...
Enjoy the ride.
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Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler stood alone on the doorstep where Rhett had left her.
The fog swirled where he once stood uttering words that would be burned into her heart forever...Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn...
How could he not care about her! Hadn't he promised her that she would feel safe and warm?
A chill ran down her spine as goose flesh rose beneath her black twill dress. Now she would be mourning more than Bonnie... more than Melly... Now she would be mourning for the love she lost... the love she threw away only to want it back... more than life.
Turning on her heel she vowed there must be a way to get him back... there must be. He would always come back before... he simply had to now, after all, she loved him-
But he didn't know that, or have a reason to believe her now.
"I can't think about this now... I'll go crazy if I do..." She cried. "But I must think about it... I must..."
The dim light from outside that had filtered through the windows had all but fled... had the light fled with Captain Butler, or had it been a gradual leaving... did he go all at once from her, when was she left in total darkness?
At length Scarlett carried her bones of lead up to her room to try to sleep... sleep too was fleeting and illusive, so she turned to her outlet... her diary.
Dear Diary,
There are so many thoughts so many things that I would like to say to him. So many times I would just like to tell him how I am feeling. Not that he would believe me, he didn't today... but I spent so much time not saying anything. I wouldn't even know where to begin. Starting with 'I love you' is just so cliché and I cannot...I would write him a letter... if only I knew what to write... If only I had known what to say when he returned from London...If only I had expressed to him how happy I was to see him. If I had been at the bottom of the stairs instead of the top, if I had thrown myself around him and hugged him even if he did not want to be hugged if I had kissed him instead of letting him speak. If only I had told him what was in my heart then. Maybe he would have acted differently... Maybe I would not have swung at him...maybe I wouldn't have...
After counting how many 'if's' there were on her page, Scarlett slammed the book closed.
Too many chances gone by, none taken... She scolded herself.
Scarlett sat alone staring at her reflection trying to figure out what to say to the only man she would ever love if her chance ever returned. It had only been a little while since he walked out of her life...
Reopening the book, one page at a time... over all the time she had come to her book, instead of going to him...
Finally reaching the page... here at the end...her scribbled words on the page, laying there written, and useless... She knew better than to hope she would have the chance but she did not know better not to dream of it.
Scarlett O'Hara always found a way to get what she wanted. Now knowing, painfully too late that it was Rhett Butler. The man of her dreams... the lost image in the fog... it was him that she needed and wanted so desperately.
Why did I have to find out so late that it was him? Has it been him all along...when did I stop loving Ashley? Scarlett wondered idly to herself.
In the reflection of the mirror, the glow of the warm fire sparked up and the flames licked higher for a brief instant ...glancing again at the unrecognizable eyes, swollen and red, an idea flickered like the flames through her mind...
Losing their own gaze, her eyes trailed down, her hands coming into view first, and then the drawer... which at one time held such escape and fostered such pleasant dreams...the everlasting picture of Mister Wilkes...
She opened the drawer slowly... deliberately...then with concentrated movements Scarlett looked at hands that seemed to move of their own will, as they laid hold of the beautiful brass encasement, opening the clasp her eyes came into focus and her mind was ablaze, full of anger and hate toward the lifeless image.
Ironic, she thought to herself, this lifeless image looks like it has more life than Mister Wilkes himself now...
Her eyes took in the picture with a new mind, a mind clear of the love that had once captured her and held her for ransom. Once again the fire caught her attention in the mirror.
Scarlett looked at herself in the mirror and saw a woman she began to hate, before only this only longing eyes would greet her, but today she did not feel an ache in her breasts for his hands, she did not feel anything but irritation at herself, at her own weakness at her own blindness...
With the same deliberate movements she removed the picture from its encasement and held it in her hands, and stood slowly...
Pacing back and forth, Scarlett paced through her life... As she felt the warmth of the fire near, fire began to burn in her blood. Never again would Scarlett O'Hara be a slave to such a weak illusion.
"Good bye Mister Wilkes" far too late in my opinion...
She flicked the picture away from her and into the flames and watched as the image of the 'long suffering Mr. Wilkes' as Rhett once called him, started to bubble and burn, only to finally turn into ash...
Quite fitting...Scarlett congratulated herself, turning to the decanter on a nearby table.
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Rhett waited at the railway station for the train to Charleston. Pulling his watch from his vest pocket he noted the time... 5:00... The sun had lit the sky, but was defused through the typical fog. Returning his watch to its place, and getting a hold on his luggage, Rhett headed out to the platform in attempts to expedite his departure. He had to get out... get away. Hope rose in his veins, that Scarlett would not follow him to the train station.
Recalling his choice of words when leaving, however, left Rhett with some assurance that she would decide against such a course.
She seemed upset... Perhaps she was over me, but more over Ashley, perhaps Melly... she doesn't really care that much... not about me.. Scarlett wouldn't chance such a rejection. NO. ...
Looking down the railway again for the approaching train, Rhett again checked his pocket watch... "5:05" ... he raised the watch to his ears, just to make positive he could still hear the click click click
Cant this train come any faster...
"Captain Butler" a man spoke from the doorway, "Your train will be boarding on platform two."
Rhett hadn't noticed that there were no other passengers to board then looked above at a sign that hung over the rail... One.
Quickly, he gathered his luggage and silently followed the man to through the door out to the opposite track, to find the waiting train.
"All aboard!" the director called after Rhett boarded the train.
When the wheels started to move he settled a bit more. He didn't have to strain to see if he could hear her voice asking for him...He didn't feel any real need to worry, she hadn't come after him the last time as he secretly hoped she would have...
That last awful time when he had taken their daughter and went abroad...Secretly he hoped that she would come to the station and ask him not to leave, or get on the train and insist on going along...but she hadn't that time and she hadn't this time...
Rhett opened his bag and pulled out a leather journal. Always traveling with it, his journal was a closer companion than his valet. The custom of writing came long before a valet... since he left his family... Oh so many years ago that was. A long sigh escaped from Rhett's clinched jaw.
How could I be so, so foolish to hope? All my hopes had lain with what Melly whispered to me. I wish Scarlett had cared a great deal. I wish she did love me. God help me. Why do I love her? She is cold, uncaring and selfish. Scarlett O'Hara only wants what she wants, and cares not who she hurts in her attempts to secure it. Sure she returned to me at home saying she loved me. But how could I believe? After how many years of throwing herself at that spineless Wilkes, how could she have the gall... the arrogance... the insolence to she think she can come back to me and say all this 'oh darling' crap!
I would be the child to forget what I have known all that I have learned about her. I must get away from her. I need to be free of her. It is my Life! And by God, I will be free of her. Somehow I will be free!!...I must be free... I am Rhett Butler! I refuse to be enslaved...especially to a woman! THAT woman.
Firm on his resolve, Rhett closed his book and returned it to its place. Closing his eyes, rest seemed to be a welcome idea. There was alot that lay ahead... a life to build. Focus was needed.
Rhett was returning to Charleston and he had to find his way back into the good graces of his family and his home town. That is what he would focus on, that is what he would pour his energy into. He would no longer run away from his past. There was but one choice: make it good and then, get on with life
There was much to be done...
His mind started to work thinking of how he would begin, but he was too tired.
Effectively Rhett stopped thinking about Scarlett and drifted off to sleep.
A single tear slipped from his closed eyes...
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