English isn't my first language so feel free to point me out any mistake I made. Ask if you don't understand something. Thank you for the time you'll spend reding my story.
I do not own Naruto.
Not everything is worth remembering. Ahah, life taught me that.
Nice.
My parents? I never met them. My friends? I don't have them.
What am I doing in this world? Being a nuisance seems to be the only answer but I don't particulary like it. Sometimes I wonder about the fact that in my body a host a Demon. Is that the reason why everybody hates me? But how come even those who don't know about it don't want to come close to me? Am I so bad?
Ahah damn. Living this fucking life is so difficult and not even worth it. What am I living for? Being scorned by everyone? Nice man, nice!
Fuck it. Fuck me!
Every morning I wake up and wish I weren't me. Anyone else. Anyone would do, just not me I beg you. But who am I begging? Ahah, nobody would ever listen to me, I'm not important enough. I always envied those people able to leave a sign when they passed. Able to remain strongly fixed in people's mind for just being themself so beautifully.
That's my dream. But I can't do it, seen as nobody ever gives me a chance to let me show what I'm woth. But how could I blame them? I myself think I may not be worth anything so what do I espect from others? Why am I still so stupid as to hope someone will ever give me his hand and stay with me, accepting me? I feel so empty. So empty I fear I won't be able to recognize any emotion I maight find in this world. But no worry, ahah, as it seems that nobody will ever be willing to show them to me. I tried learning them by myself but I couldn't.
Sorrow. Sorrow I can recognize. And pain, and abandonement, and... and I'm tired of all this never ending shit! But I'm such a coward, even tought I say I'd do anything to free myself from this world I don't have the guts to kill myself. It may be because I have a strong sense of preservation. Maybe.
The fact is that every time I see the blade tough my skin, or I feel its cool metal on me, fear takes me. I start sweating and my hand trembles. The sound of my own heart beating makes me forget all else. The blade falls from my hand and I collapse to the floor screaming and crying and wishing to be able to tear away my own skin with my bare hands. That rush, that moment of extasy when I feel my heart beating makes me realize that I'm ALIVE. And for that there has to be a reason.
I need a reason to my existence. A reason not to crumble and let myself sleep away in that sleep of death that for now I can only dream of. Someone, save my soul! And if it is beyond saving than at least free it with truth and knowledge. I'm not afraid of dying.
Years ago you left. You never returned and the village still hasn't understood what you were for all of them. You were their glue. And mine.
You kept us all together no matter what, and you kept on saving us. Only your death made me realize. And I returned. But not to save this damn village I hate, or to avenge tou. You don't need this, don't WANT this. But I'm not good. And even less now that you're gone. All my restrinctions are gone, all my sanity and I find myself at peace now talking to you and looking at these high flames destroy the reason of all my sufference.
They never understood us. It was always you and me, wasn't it?
... Naruto.
Reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.