Since I was 11 years old, I've had a plan for how my seventh year was going to go.

(1) I would have a wonderful, perfect boyfriend. Lots of snogging would be involved. [I had a dirty mind from a young age, thanks to my cousin Fred.] (2) I would be Head Girl. (3) I would be captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. [I play Beater with my cousin Fred.] (4) I would have perfect relationships with both of my sisters. (5) Gavin Merisque would be a mere distant memory, not an everyday pestilence.

About that plan… You see, my first day as a seventh year was today.

(1) No boyfriend. As in… ever. I may just have to become a nun. (2) Well, this one's come true. Dad was so proud of me. (3) Haha. No. (4) My big sister Molly has been driving me bloody insane. She's engaged, and is getting married next summer. But you'd think it was tomorrow. She is suffering from a major case of the Bridezillas. And, it's hard to have a perfect relationship with anyone when they're making you wear a dress that makes you look like a ray of sunshine and has a billion straps that dig into your shoulders. And my baby sister Abby…

She had her tongue down Gavin Merisque's throat. So there goes #4 and #5. And about #2…. Guess who's Head Boy?

"Hey!" I bellowed. "Merisque! Get your filthy paws off my baby sister!"

He pulled away, leering at me. For someone who is treated as if he is God's Gift to Women, you think he'd be cuter. Gavin looks like a stoat… Or some other small weasel type animal. I may be a Weasley, but I don't find that attractive at all. He has black hair, and black squinty eyes. Even scarier, he is taller than me. Me! Lucy Weasley, who is about 180 centimeters. I think he has an elephant for a mother. How an elephant and a stout procreated, don't ask me.

"Luc!" Abby yelped. Holy blue. She had lipstick smeared all over her chin. Lipstick! She's 15! What 15 year old wears lipstick?

Of course… I did use eyeliner when I was 5 to draw a picture of my dream house once. Mum wasn't too happy about that.

Stoutphant raised his eyebrows. "I don't think being 2 years younger makes Abigail your baby sister."

Being mature and otherwise superior, I ignored him and pulled Abby aside. "What are you doing?" I hissed. "You might as well find a squirrel to snog!"

My baby sister glared at me. What! Kids these days… No respect for their elders. "You may find it impossible to believe, but I actually like Gavin."

"How could you like him? He's a stout!"

Abby can look rather menacing. I saw a first year cower when they caught sight of her face. "I don't know what your problem with Gavin Merisque is, but get over it. He's my boyfriend."

Did she? No. She couldn't have. "B-Boyfriend?" My baby sister is dating before me. In the olden days if that happened, I'd be sent to a convent, yes? I was right! I am a nun in disguise.

"Yes. I'm a big girl now. So… go get yourself one Lucy." She shooed me away. My baby sister shooed me away!

I am so writing to Mum and Dad. Dad will hunt Gavin down. It will be the Spanish Inquisition Part II. He'll never be quite the same upstairs. Mess with Abby, and you have to go through me first!

Wait. I already sent my owl Cornelius out. Dad insists all our pets are named after either a headmaster, minister, or some Ministry of Magic employee. So much for that plan.

But what's the good in being a Weasley if you don't employ your numerous cousins for help once in a while? I have more than enough boy cousins to beat up Gavin for me. Fred for starters. Being his favorite cousin, he owes me. Then there's… James, Albus, Hugo, Louise. That's it? Only 5? Damn. But that will probably be enough.

But James is friends with Gavin. Plus he's a 6th year and shorter than the World's Largest Stout. And Albus is a lover not a fighter. He's not really a lover either. Same with Hugo. Useless little cousins… Louise is even worse. He's a total pansy.

Holy blue! All I have to work with is Freddie.

But that's okay. Because no matter what, I have to take Gavin Merisque down.