(A/N: Slightly AU; this songfic plot doesn't go with the musical, and after the oneshot, there's a little plot…very tiny plot)
btw, the lyrics basically tell the story, so i put them in bold
POPULAR (Wicked, the musical)
SETTING: They're in the Slytherin common room, and at Pansy's vanity (song is from Pansy's point of view)
PANSY PARKINSON
(spoken) 'Mione - now that we're friends, I've decided to
make you my new project.
HERMIONE
(spoken) You really don't have to do that
PANSY
(spoken) I know. That's what makes me so nice!
(begins taking out concealer, eye shadow, lipstick, lip-gloss, blush, etc.)
(sung) Whenever I see someone
Less fortunate than I
(And let's face it - who isn't
Less fortunate than I?)
(puts make-up on Hermione)
My tender heart
Tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know I know, exactly what they need
And even in your case
Tho' it's the toughest case I've yet to face
(pauses, and tries not to frown at Hermione's features)
Don't worry - I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed
You will be...
(dramatically pauses and begins dancing around while applying make-up on Hermione)
Popular!
You're gonna be popular!
I'll teach you the proper ploys
When you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce
(Begins raiding closet and throwing out random clothes)
I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts
To be popular
I'll help you be popular!
You'll hang with the right cohorts
(Shows Hermione a picture of Draco, Blaise, and other "popular" Slytherins)
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know
So let's start
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go:
(bites lip and concentrates on how to make Hermione prettier)
Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to be come a pal, a
Sister and adviser
There's nobody wiser
(rolls eyes and flounces around)
Not when it comes to popular -
I know about popular
And with an assist from me
To be who you'll be
Instead of dreary who you were (pause)—are
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming popu-ler—lar
(Throws a heap of designer clothes to an alarmed Hermione whose make-up is half done)
La la la la
We're gonna make
You popular
(laughs & finishes applying make-up on Hermione)
When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
(Shows Hermione a picture of some Gryffindors (Ginny, Lavender, etc.), Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, (people who Slytherins don't like)
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of
Celebrated heads of state or
Specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!
(giggles and throws the pictures of her shoulder)
They were popular! Please -
It's all about popular!
It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very very popular
Like me!
PANSY
(spoken) Why, Hermione, look at you. You're beautiful.
HERMIONE (spoken) I - I have to go… (takes one look in the mirror and runs off, trying to hide a grin)
PANSY
(calls after Hermione) You're welcome!
(sigh)
(sung) And though you protest
Your disinterest
I know clandestinely
(Sighs, looks at a picture of Hermione before her makeover, shudders, and dumps it in the trashcan)
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your new found popularity
(begins dancing again)
La la la la
You'll be popular -
Just not as quite as popular
As me!
(looks at herself in her vanity and smirks)
AND THEN…
Hermione ran down the corridor. She was so grateful the Pansy had given her a makeover. She loved it! She was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn't realize that she had run into someone.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" Hermione apologized over and over again, helping the person up.
"It's ok," the person said. He looked up and Hermione gasped.
"Malfoy?"
Malfoy looked up. "Do I know you?"
Hermione cleared her throat uncomfortably and looked down at the floor. "Um, yes actually."
"The who are you?" he asked curiously. 'Wow, how come I missed this beautiful girl in my seven years at Hogwarts?' he thought.
Hermione started backing up and she turned to run in the opposite direction of Malfoy. "Let's just say you've hated me for the past seven years," she called as she ran. Then Hermione added, "Ferret-faced Pureblood!"
Malfoy was confused. He shrugged and continued his way to the common room when he stopped suddenly. "Holy crap... that was GRANGER?"!
-sigh-
i love that song...
POPULAR (album Wicked, the Musical)
Read and Review plz!
thx guys
lazer-angel