"Ze cat!" Sung Peeta, "is a marvellous creeture. And I really vish, dat you marvellous children will give it vot it deserves. In my opinion your all little fattie untalented mey meys compared to ze kitty!"
Katniss gave a frustrated tap dance and Gale plied in distress. Haymitch shimmied in anger and Effie gave a sigh as she "cut da cabbage."
"Peeta!" Katniss shook her head, "one. Yer not French. Two. Yer nod even good at boogying!"
Peeta vomited casually. His head dropped. "I... I guess your right." He took of his beret, and ate it quickly, chompity chomp.
"How... How did this even happen, huh? How, man? I just..." Peeta gave a lifeless maniacal laugh. "I mean, my whole life, I've wanted to be a ballerina. I've wanted to be French. Because, y'know. Swag. But I guess it was never meant to be."
"Finally!" Katniss said triumphantly as Peeta sobbed into his feets. "I'm going to start comfort-eating bread." He opened up the cupboard and took out seventy eight loafs and ate them all, turning down offers of hot sauce and spit.
Then Haymitch said, "oh I know lets take him to the magic fairy hurray."
They all lived happily ever after.