Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own the characters and no profit is being made.
Author's Note: Although not my first published story, this is the first story I ever wrote. I am not even sure I like it, there are other stories in this same timeframe that I like far better, but I thought I would throw it over the fence for consumption. Not a lot of substance but maybe a little insight.
Something was not right. He looked on as the bleary-eyed young man poured coffee and sat at the table. Over the years, Milt had become accustomed to the peaks and valleys of Mark McCormick's emotions. He could go from the top of the mountain to the deepest ravine in the blink of an eye. Early on, Milt had no idea what caused the mood slides. Some innocuous comment would send the kid nose-diving into a funk. More frequently than not he never did decipher what had caused the decline. However, over the years the slumps had become less common and more predictable, avoidable. Since McCormick's parole ended and he had started full time in law school, he was usually happy albeit with a smattering of stress, worry and exhaustion. This was different. He was happy and he shouldn't be. Something was not right and Milton C. Hardcastle was determined to get to the bottom of it.
Mark had been a two-time loser about to go upstate on his third GTA beef. Though all of his convictions were wrought with extenuating circumstances, no one on the legal side of things really cared and McCormick certainly wasn't looking forward to spending the next ten years in a four by nine cell debating the merits of his convictions with himself. But Hardcastle made him an offer to come work for him in lieu of going to prison. The Judge took a gamble, a longshot really, that McCormick was the guy to help him with his retirement project. Despite Mark's vehement objections, he eventually agreed and Hardcastle took the young man home to give him a new chance at life. It had been rough at first, but once McCormick got over the seething hatred he felt for the Judge he began to respect the man. That respect grew into a fondness, then friendship and eventually the Judge became a father figure. When Mark told the Judge he had started law school happiness beamed in the older man's eyes and Mark felt an internal warmth he had not felt since his mother had died. Without having to admit the pride he felt for the young man the Judge found a way to pay for Mark's education, much like any father would do for a son.
Though the Judge never made him feeling indebted, Mark's gratitude was enormous and he wanted the Judge to know his money and trust were well placed. Mark put his all into school, joining every study group he could cram into his schedule and he worked into the wee hours of most nights. Hardcastle had encouraged McCormick to take a break and give his brain a rest but McCormick was having none of it. Mark was determined to earn the best grades he could and if he did fall short in a class, it would not be for a lack of trying. Whenever he wasn't studying, he spent his time working around the estate correcting whatever blunders the yard service had committed. Truth be told Hardcastle was proud of McCormick and internally smiled at the kid's dedication. Early on in their partnership, Milt recognized that Mark had a sharp mind; he had no doubt McCormick would finish school, pass the bar exam and be a top-notch attorney. Although Milt didn't want to add to McCormick's self-inflicted pressure he secretly hoped Mark would graduate at the top of his class, daydreaming about that moment as any proud parent would. He had accepted long ago that their relationship was that of father and son; even if neither would ever voice those feelings, he freely allowed himself to think that way. And though he hated to admit he could be so petty he wouldn't mind stuffing McCormick's success into the faces of the many naysayers of his rehabilitation project.
However, four months earlier things had changed. The quarter was starting soon and Mark was already in study mode getting a head start on the upcoming reading materials. He was spending days in the library reading, researching and taking notes. It was on one such day that he looked up from his book. He realized his head had been down too long and his eyes were pleading to focus on something more than 18 inches away. Mark rolled his shoulders, stretched his neck from side to side and allowed his eyes and mind to wander to things far off. His eyes landed on a student at a table across the room. Jennifer was tall, fit, had green eyes and dark brown hair. They had a few classes together over the semesters and were in some of the same study groups. Mark recollected that her notes were almost as copious as his were and she often annotated with personal insights and questions that were thought provoking. Mark sometimes wondered what life experiences had shaped her unique insight but not wanting to discuss what had influenced his own views he never asked.
Since starting law school Mark's dating life had pretty much gone dark. Not that he was living the life of a monk, he still had a casual date here and there, but he had no intention of becoming entangled in a relationship when he needed to concentrate on school. Still, as he was nearing the start of his final year, he thought maybe Hardcastle was right: all work and no play was making Mark a dull boy. Besides, as graduation became more of a reality other goals, like having a family, started to creep into the fringe of his desires. And there was Jennifer. Like many of his classmates she was younger than he was, but he guessed she was not as young as most of the others. She was a hard worker, had an agile mind and did quite well in moot court. Where had that thought come from? When did he stop thinking of potential dates as being easy on the eyes and instead thought of how interesting they were? Ah, he was getting older. He was changing; his values were changing and he actually felt comfortable with that. Still, even if her personality was the main draw, it didn't hurt that she was attractive too. He might be getting older but he wasn't old yet.
He could picture himself with her, with a family, with a career. It was a nice picture. He broke from his musings realizing he was staring at Jennifer and she was giving him a perceptive look. With slightly raised eyebrows she grinned at Mark and he felt his face redden at being caught daydreaming at her expense. Damn. Problem with the smart ones is that you could not put anything past them. He smiled back, then quickly gathered his things and headed for the parking lot. He was surprised when he heard his name called and turned to see she was hurrying to catch up to him.
"Hey, Mark. Nice to see you." Jennifer's smile was genuine.
Mark nodded in response but before he could speak she added, "I have tickets to a lecture tonight. It's a former state department worker. My friend canceled, you wanna go?" It was casual, like two old buddies talking about catching an afternoon game at Dodger Stadium.
"Sure." He responded almost automatically. "Sounds interesting." Really, he couldn't imagine anything interesting about it, but he added, "Do you want me to pick you up?"
She gave him a quizzical look. His heart started pumping. Was that too forward? After all, they were classmates and maybe she didn't mean the invite to be that kind of invite. As he struggled to decide what this all meant and what he should say next she smiled and responded. "I'm staying at Hedrick Hall. You can use one of the guest parking spots, I'll meet you in the lot around 6:30 and we can walk over." Mark nodded, said his goodbyes and headed to the Coyote.
The lecturer discussed her work serving in overseas consulates. Mark found her descriptions of life abroad fascinating and her anecdotes were an entertaining mixture of humor and political insight. Afterward, he and Jennifer walked to a café and discussed the lecture over coffee and dessert. When the check came, she casually paid for her half. Okay, message received, just classmates, not a date. However, as they departed in the parking lot, the message was muddled when she leaned in and gave him a soft, but lingering kiss. Modern women. He found it baffling but he liked it.
For the next few months Mark and Jennifer found snippets of time to spend together. They went to museums, concerts and spent time on the beach talking, but mostly they just studied. Her voice, her body and her smile fascinated Mark, but more importantly, he loved hearing what she had to say. They had grown up under far different circumstances and often held different opinions on issues. Even when they disagreed, he found the discussions lively and engaging. A couple nights a week Jennifer managed to stay over in the gatehouse. McCormick made sure they were discrete, coming and going in a way that was neither stealth nor likely to encounter the Judge. It wasn't that he was hiding out; the Judge knew when Jennifer was there and Jennifer knew Mark lived on the grounds with his mentor. Strangely, McCormick didn't want to share the Judge with Jennifer nor Jennifer with the Judge. He couldn't really explain these feelings, even to himself. He wanted Jennifer and the Judge to get to know each other, but he also wanted to keep them apart, holding them separate, keeping each all to himself. He couldn't define his motivations and he felt twinges of guilt at maintaining the gulf between his worlds but the after dinner arrivals and early morning departures seemed to be working so why mess with a system that wasn't broken?
Hardcastle asked McCormick, subtly at first and then outright, about the gatehouse's latest mystery guest. He had occasional glimpses of Jennifer as she left some mornings. She always smiled and gave a polite wave. No embarrassment or slinking off, just a matter-of-fact exit. Hardcastle could not help but notice that unlike most of the bombshells Mark dated, this one seemed mature, self-confident. Moreover, almost as important to Hardcastle, she always appeared fully clothed. Hardcastle was happy to see the kid finally allowing himself to relax a bit, but also wondered why he had not met the girl. McCormick was not usually shy about supplying details of his dates but inquiries about Jennifer were answered with brief, superficial responses. Hardcastle tried to be patient but he wanted to meet her. If McCormick was getting serious he wanted to confirm for himself that she was good enough for Mark.
With Halloween looming the Judge was in full swing preparing for his upcoming party. Mark was sitting in the den, legs slung over the arm of the chair, a pad of paper balanced on his knee and his nose buried in a textbook. As Hardcastle flitted around stringing cobwebs and dangling spiders off the ceiling he was providing a litany of ideas, "Maybe we should put the spider nest on the bookshelf this year...I think we need a few more tombstones to line the driveway…let's put that motion activated ghoul in the bathroom…."
Without breaking his concentration Mark answered each with "Uh huh," or "Good idea." Occasionally Milt threw out an item for the grocery list.
"Put down chips, two bags and let's get some black licorice." Mark sighed, grabbed the pad off the desk and dutifully added the items before returning to his half-listening and studying.
As Milt was winding down Mark closed his books and gathered his notes.
"Do you want me to go to the store while you finish up or do you want to go with me?" Hardcastle hesitated, considering. He didn't particularly like shopping but he and McCormick had so little time to talk these days even a ride to and from the store was tempting.
"Sure kid, I'll go with you. We can pick up some steaks for dinner," Hardcastle replied enthusiastically.
"About dinner…" McCormick drawled. Hardcastle recognized the hesitation, meant the kid already had plans for dinner. Hardcastle stifled a sigh trying to hide his disappointment. Well, it was not as if he was jealous, not much anyway. Truth was he missed spending time with his friend.
McCormick started slowly. "Do you mind if we pick up three steaks? I was thinking I could ask Jennifer to join us. I'd like you to meet her."
Hardcastle was floored. He had not expected that response and suddenly felt a little nervous. He quickly regrouped and with a slap on Mark's back said, "Sure, kid. Your friends are always welcome. After all, it's your home too." Mark was not fooled by Milt's attempt at nonchalance.
"Look Judge. I know you've been chomping at the bit to meet her. It's not like I've been trying to keep her from you."
"Oh no?" Milt's irritation was rising. "It seems that she's spent the night a few times. Not like you couldn't have stopped in for coffee in the morning and extended introductions." Mark sighed. This was going to be tougher than he thought.
"I know, and you've been good about not pushing. Trust me; I appreciate how hard that is for you. It's just, well, I think I could get serious with her. She's smart, great sense of humor and we enjoy each other's company. Even though we have different backgrounds and interests we have fun doing things together." Mark was unsure how Hardcastle would react to his next comment but he steeled himself for the backlash and plowed ahead. "I wanted to make sure it felt right before I brought her home to meet the family." Mark held his eye contact with the Judge and waited.
The Judge stopped short. It was not a shock that Mark thought of him as family but it wasn't ever said aloud either. He knew Mark meant business. "Well, okay then." The Judge said in a husky voice as he tried to force the words past the lump that had formed in his throat. Then with more enthusiasm he added, "Bring her around and let's see what she's got."
McCormick let out his breath and grinned, "Geez, Hardcase. We aren't taking her to the track for a test drive. Just be yourself. Or better yet, be nice."
"I'm always nice, McCormick," the judge grinned and both men were relieved at the return of their usual banter.
The shopping trip turned into Milt planning a meal fit for entertaining royalty. Mark had to insist they only serve one dessert and stood firm that salad, garlic bread, baked potatoes and sautéed veggies were plenty to accompany the steaks. They didn't need wild rice, pasta and baked beans too. Dinner went off without a hitch. After getting over the fact that she was actually meeting someone who was in her textbooks Jennifer and Milt hit it off. Milt told stories of his and McCormick's adventures while Jennifer regaled them with tales from growing up living abroad as the daughter of two Army officers. They even had a lively discussion on points of law that Mark and Jennifer were studying. They all helped with the clean-up and then had cheesecake for dessert. As it was getting close to midnight, Hardcastle politely yawned and said his goodnights. Milt smiled as the young couple headed out the back door hand in hand, bypassing her car and entering the gatehouse. Not long after, the gatehouse lights went out. Milt smiled and thought, maybe she was good enough for Mark. Maybe.
Over the next several weeks, Jennifer became a regular around the estate. Milt was pleased to see Mark relaxing a bit and doing well at balancing his studies with his love life. Good practice, Milt thought, for when he has a practice. Then it suddenly changed. Sometime around Thanksgiving Jennifer stopped coming by and Mark stopped going out. At first, Milt thought they were just taking a break before finals but the lack of phone calls and mention of her made it clear to Hardcastle that Jennifer was no longer in McCormick's picture. What Milt could not understand was why Mark wasn't brooding. McCormick's downturns after break-ups were notoriously long, drawn out and consisted of Hardcastle being subjected to weeks of constant lamenting. Why this break-up resulted in not even a frown had Hardcastle perplexed. Not only was McCormick not upset he seemed content and there was a calmness about him that Milt had never seen. What had this girl done to him?
After watching McCormick and seeing no sign of trouble or remorse Hardcastle finally could not hold it in.
"What's wrong with you?" He yelled.
"Huh?" McCormick looked up sleepily from his breakfast. A long night of studying and early morning basketball did not provide the right frame of mind for McCormick to be guessing what the Judge was going off about this time.
"You heard me, what's wrong? What happened to Jennifer?" Mark stared at Hardcastle in disbelief for a moment and the Judge got the idea Mark was spinning a response. Before he could get too far Hardcastle bellowed, "I asked you a question, McCormick!"
Mark jumped slightly but replied, "Nothing, Judge. We aren't seeing each other anymore. It's no big deal. Why're you getting so worked up?"
"I thought she was the one? Months of wining and dining and just like that it's over? And you say, 'it's no big deal'? Sure seemed like a big deal to me, Hotshot. What happened?" Hardcastle fixed his gaze on McCormick silently demanding a response.
Mark's ire was rising along with his voice. "What's it to you, Hardcase? It's not like you were dating her. We just broke up. It happens. It's happened to me a lot, in fact. I'm not bothered by it, why're you?"
Milt was not going to let him off the hook but tried a different approach. "Look, you don't want to tell me, fine. I thought since you had introduced her to your family that maybe your family deserved to know what happened. Or that maybe your family cares about what happened. But that's okay, Sport, you don't have to tell me anything. It's not like we're friends or anything."
Mark rolled his eyes. "Seriously? Did you really just lay a first-class guilt trip on me? You know, you're turning into your Aunts."
Milt stared at Mark but couldn't hold back the chagrined chuckle. With another switch in gears, Hardcastle tried again. In a gentler, parental tone, "Look Mark. I worry about you. I just want to make sure you're okay. If you don't want to tell me, really, that's fine. Just as long as you're happy." Use of his first name…Hardcastle didn't pull that one out too often. This guilt trip was getting to Mark but he tried one last-ditch effort to circumvent the issue.
"Whatcha want for Christmas dinner, ham or turkey?"
The judge silently stared at him with steel blue eyes that clearly conveyed that the diversion would not work. After a few moments, McCormick sighed heavily and thought for the thousandth time he was glad he had never been subjected to an official Hardcastle interrogation.
"Look Judge. I really like Jennifer and we got along great. I did think we might have something long term and so did she. Then when we started talking about family and future, well, you know we come from really different backgrounds and we had different ideas. Irreconcilable ideas it turns out. So, we both decided it didn't make sense to continue dating when there were things neither of us was willing to change. That's it. I'm fine. Thanks for caring." Mark grinned and gave Milt a playful push on his shoulder.
Milt grimaced at the display of affection. Things they couldn't get past. Then something occurred to him. He felt a rising fury towards Jennifer but he kept his voice conciliatory.
"Ah kid, I get it. She couldn't get over your past, huh? Well, it's her loss. She doesn't know what she's missing. I'm sorry Kiddo, sorry I brought it up." Mark considered for a moment letting the conversation end right there with the judge believing his take on things but Milt seemed so abashed by his perceived faux pas that Mark couldn't hold back.
"No, it's nothing like that. I told her about my prison time early on. She was fine with that."
Milt eyed McCormick for a moment then returned to bellowing, "Then what the hell happened?"
Mark jumped slightly then gave in.
"It's about names."
Milt was puzzled. "Names? What names? What're you babbling about? What do names have to do with anything?"
Mark averted his eyes, becoming increasingly uncomfortable, but continued quietly. "Names. You know, like, what you name your kids?" Milt's face softened and Mark caught a look of wistful remembrance as it flashed across his face and just as quickly was gone.
"What about it?" Hardcastle said more softly, now truly curious as to where this was going.
"Well, I have an idea of what I want to name my kids, you know, if I'm ever lucky enough to have kids. I told her what I was thinking and she laughed and said no way she would ever name her kid that. I know it's stupid but it's something I thought about for a long time, well, for five or six years anyway and when she said no and seemed unwilling to budge, well, I decided she was not the one for me. She sensed it too. I know it seems weird but that one small thing seemed to open a big rift and we both recognized it. So, trust me, Judge, I'm fine with this decision."
Mark wound down, took a breath and snuck a peak at Hardcastle who sat in silence considering McCormick's heartfelt words. Mark's explanation seemed ridiculous. You don't dump the girl of your dreams because you don't agree on a baby name especially when there was no said baby to be named, yet. Then the obvious question dawned on the Judge.
"What name did you want?" Mark grimaced inwardly. He thought for a moment that Hardcase would accept the explanation without the details. Mark plodded on. "I told her, if it was a girl, she could pick the first name, you know, maybe her mom's name. I wanted the middle name to be Donna or ZoraMay." Hardcastle was pleased that the kid thought about their aunts but detected the kid was sidestepping the real issue.
"And?" he prodded impatiently. Mark straightened in his seat and started fiddling with the food on his plate.
"I want to name my first son after my Dad. She wasn't having any part of that." Hardcastle could not hide his disgust.
"You wanted to name a kid Sonny and you dumped a great lady because she disagreed? I gotta tell you, Kiddo, I'm siding with Jennifer on this one." Mark laughed then looked the judge in the eye.
"No, Judge. I told her I wanted to name my son after my Dad. I told her my first son would be named Milton." This time the lump in his throat would not be pushed down and Milt could not respond. Milt's moist eyes met Mark's deep blue eyes and he thought that maybe they were a bit moist too. After that brief shared moment, they both looked down and commenced eating breakfast in companionable silence.
After a few minutes, the Judge put down his fork and looked Mark in the eye.
"Let's have turkey and ham. That way we will have enough leftovers to take us to New Year's."
Mark grinned and responded, "Now 'yer cookin'."